You could go as Michael Jackson...jsut scoop up some kid on the way.
Michael Phelps...get a bong and 8 gold medals
You could be the balloon boy
You could go as eliot spitzer and your wife could be your hooker
You could go as hairy feminist...seeing as you have the beard
John McCain and Sarah Palin with the wife
Get a crappy Reno Police Officer outfit and go as Lt Dangle
Or you could go as The Jesus from the Big Lebowski...get a pony tail and a purple leisure suit and you are gold...not at all out of your element.