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Old 06-20-2010, 11:56 AM   #606 (permalink)
illmatic
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Okay. So my epic day yesterday. I gotta do this fast because I need to get to the beach for the soccer game party today. I rolled out of bed at like noon (I personally love doing this) and some guys were heading to the beach. We walk down there and the bodies on this beach were incredible... the whole Brazilian-awesome-ass stereotype is very accurate... I never knew where to look. I was a little distracted though because every ******* guy was in speedo briefs. It was really ******* gay, I felt overdressed in board shorts. I might need to pick up a more "local" bathing suit out here =). Another funny thing I noticed at the beach is there's little workout stations for everyone to get their muscles all jacked up before hitting the beach. I was really amused at how douchebaggy this is... but to tell you the truth, I'm going to start using these.

The beach was so nice. It was like 33 degrees, busy but plenty of space, you rent a chair and dudes come and serve you beers or coconuts that they hack the top out of with a machete and stick a straw in. The water was really nice and blue and the most perfect temperature...To be honest I was this ultra tall ultra pale foreigner frolicking like a little girl in the ocean for like 2 hours, stopping only to survey the women walking along the beach, never losing my shit eating grin. Amazing.

Then we went to the Brazilian BBQ thing, which was the most incredible ******* meal EVER. I'm putting pics up. They had a full buffet that I loaded up on, then little brazilian men in waiter outfits walk around with two foot long slabs of meat and a big knife that he shaves on to your plate. One of them came out with a cart of the most massive slab of meat with ribs, it reminded me of the Flintstones. The meat was AMAZING. I ate my face off of course until I thought I was going to have a hernia, then I farted and felt better.

So then a few of the people were going to the club, but I wasn't too down for paying over 50$ to get in. So me and some of the guys took a bus across town to a bar. It was super packed, even the street outside. We got in and grab some beers and stood around for a bit being awkward and not having anywhere to sit. I noticed this table of 3 girls sitting alone with a bunch of chairs and caught eyes with one of the girls. "Okay guys, here's the gameplan: I'm going to go over there and ask if they speak English, and if they don't, I'm going to be very embarrassed and awkward." Turns out they did speak english really well and were super friendly and awesome. So we had more than a few beers and it turned out to be a real good night. =) A funny moment happened when one of the girls left for a smoke and brought this...person...she just met outside back with her. We were introduced and then they kind of sat their awkwardly for awhile for 20 minutes and made very little conversation before leaving. The girl hadn't realized that she had actually brought back a prostitute to hang out with us. Not only that, but I noticed when she arrived that she looked a little....masculine. When I shook...it's....hand I kind of glanced at hers (I've learned this is how you check) and sure enough, those hands looked pretty manly. Weird moment. It's socially polite to kiss girls on the cheek when saying hello or goodbye so I totally kissed a tranny on the cheek last night.

One of the girls I met seemed to take a liking to me, I believe she's going to show me a bit of Rio next weekend

Gerbil's going to make a blog post about these recent happenings, and he's a better writer, so I'll have to link his post when he does it today.
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