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My very first article on Dan Hardy
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11-11-2010, 07:21 AM
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HexRei
I Finish Threads
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 7,804
by the way, re-reading again even with my own edits, i missed several other things. let me know if you found this helpful and ill give you a few other suggestions. i dont have time to write myself these days, but i still like to edit
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His helmet was stifling, it narrowed his vision. And he must see far. His shield was heavy. It threw him off balance. And his target is far away.
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