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post #775 of (permalink) Old 04-24-2011, 06:22 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: S.C.
Posts: 59
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when
another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever
in the middle seat next to the man. The first man looked very quizzically at
the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane. The second man
explained that he was a DEA agent and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'.
His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get
airborne, when I put him to work.
'The plane took off, and once it has leveled out, the agent said, 'Watch
this.' He told Sniffer to 'search.' Sniffer jumped down, walked along the
aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds
Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the agent's arm. The
agent said, 'Good boy', and he turned to the man and said, 'That woman is in
possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number and the
authorities will apprehend her when we land. 'Say, that's pretty neat,'
replied the first man.
Once again, the agent sent Sniffer to search the aisles. The lab sniffed
about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and
this time he placed two paws on the agent's arm. The agent said, 'That man
is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the
police.' I like it!' said his seat mate. The agent then told Sniffer to
search' again..
Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a
moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat
and proceeded to 'poop' all over the place. The first man was really grossed
out by this behavior and couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog
would behave like that, so he asked the agent, 'What's going on?' The agent
nervously replied, 'He just found a bomb.'

US Marine Lives Here
In God We Trust
All Others I Watch Closely

Have you ever wondered where the phrase "You Gotta Be Shittin' Me" came from?
Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of Our Country, way back when he, George Washington, was crossing the Delaware River with his troops.
There were 33 (remember this number) in Washington 's boat.
It was extremely dark and storming furiously and the water was tossing them about. Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters (remember that name) and stationed him at the front of the boat with a lantern.
He ordered him to keep swinging it, so they could see where they were heading.
Corporal Peters, through driving rain and cold, continued swinging the lantern back and forth, back and forth.
Then a big gust of wind and a wave hit and threw Corporal Peters and his lantern into the Delaware ...
Washington and his troops searched for nearly an hour trying to find Corporal Peters, but to no avail.
All of them felt terrible, for the Corporal had been one of their favorites. Sometime later, Washington and his troops landed on the other side, wet and totally exhausted.
He rallied the troops and told them that they must go on. Another hour later, one of his men said, 'General, I see lights ahead.'
So they trudged toward the lights and came upon a huge house. What they didn't know, was that this was a house of ill repute hidden in the forest to serve all who came.
General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him. The door swung open, and much to his surprise stood a beautiful woman. A huge smile came across her face, to see so many men standing there.
Washington was the first to speak, 'Madam, I am General George Washington and these are my men. We are tired, wet, exhausted, and desperately need warmth and comfort.'
Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with a broad smile on her face, said, 'Well, General, you have come to the right place. We can surely give you warmth and comfort. How many men do you have?'
Washington replied, 'Well, Madam, there are 32 of us without Peters.'
And the Madam said, 'You gotta be shittin' me!'

Last edited by K R Y; 04-24-2011 at 07:49 AM.
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