Usually id make a joke here and tell you to consume your sorrows in alcohol. But i honestly think you have serious issues. You are going through a really rough patch it sounds and that sucks for anyone. But if you have a serious history of drugs and suicide attempts then you just cant allow yourself to handle this on your own. As it is right now i think you are on a very rocky path to relapsing. You mentioned you have kids?? Dont do this to them. You dont sound very stable and until you can take care of yourself how are you supposed to take care of them??
I wish you best of luck man and i hope things arnt as bad as they are sounding. If you have the money then go see some counseling. Im sure there are some free programs that could help you 2. Maybe go to some type of meeting where people talk to each other in groups. Youd be surprised but talking things out is a huge stress reliever.
Take care of yourself man. Start with changing that avy... its emo. You need to put your mind in a happier place.
Thanks mate. Nah, as for the drugs and suicide it's been years now. I'm in no real danger to go back there again. I hardly even touch alcohol nowadays.. A whiskey from time to time is all I need.
But yeah, should I start feeling like I'm closing in on drugs and all that, I will go to a psychiatrist and a therapist to talk to them. I have too much to lose to go back to drugs and all that. I do have my old therapists number though, who I talk with every now and then. Might just talk to him next time about all this.
This avy is actually a pretty happy one, even if it looks emo. It's from the Chemical Brothers album Dig your own hole.