"Shut the fcuk up and eat" is better than any advice I could give you, but I'll try anyway.
Get a loaf of ciabatta bread, 16oz or so tomato sauce or crushed tomatoes or w/e. Simmer said tomato product with one clove of garlic and about a tablespoon each of oregano, basil, parsley, chopped onion (I use onion powder b/c onion chunks make me hurl) and a hefty glug of red wine, for about an hour. Grate mozzarella cheese and get some pepperoni, banana peppers, or whatever the hell you weirdos who refer to hoodies as "sweaters" like to put on pizza. Toast the bread in the toaster oven (I believe you have one) and then put all the stuff on it; toast further till the cheese browns just a little. It'll accommodate your pizza jones and you'll have more money left over so you can drink something besides burgundy.
Also, it wouldn't kill you to brown ground beef with garlic, chili powder and some tomato paste; keep some in the refrigerator and some in the freezer, supply taco shells and related items as needed.
Learn to bake. It's so damn easy and your own cookies etc. will taste so much better than packaged stuff. I recommend allrecipes.com or verybestbaking.com if you don't want accumulate a library of cookbooks like I have.
You had me at "get a loaf".
I'm going to do this, actually. I like pizza, and I like cheap pizza, and I am bored a lot so, let's see how this goes. I'll let you know how good it tastes, then if I approve, I shall request more.
I know how to bake, actually. Well, not sure if following directions on a chocolate cake mix box is "baking" but I can do that. Does it count?