I hope you haven't unleashed some sort of homeopathic witchdoctor curse on your poor parrotlet by naming it Lieutenant Dan. I can see it now, poor LD, battle wounded and flightless after getting into a vicious altercation with a flock of Vietnamese parrots.
Currently touching wood. (no masturbation)
Someone in his family has fought and died in every single bird war, he will have to live with his fate if it comes to that.
Have you guys seen the new anti-gay campaign from westbro baptist church? Crazy nutjobs.