That reminds me of a story that involves anal sex and a torn sphincter.
I remember a friend of mine (ACTUAL FRIEND. NOT ME. BEFORE ANYONE THINKS THEY'RE FUNNY) at a house party, was ******* his girl in the upstairs bathroom. And...well, he decided to stick it up her arse, the romantic man that he is. He ripped his banjo string. Panicked at the blood pouring everywhere and ran out of the bathroom with a bleeding shitty dick before passing out and being taken to hospital.
Best night of my life.