I remember a friend of mine (ACTUAL FRIEND. NOT ME. BEFORE ANYONE THINKS THEY'RE FUNNY) at a house party, was ******* his girl in the upstairs bathroom. And...well, he decided to stick it up her arse, the romantic man that he is. He ripped his banjo string. Panicked at the blood pouring everywhere and ran out of the bathroom with a bleeding shitty dick before passing out and being taken to hospital.
Best night of my life.
I'm gonna steal the first part of your story.
I remember a friend of mine (ACTUAL FRIEND. NOT ME. BEFORE ANYONE THINKS THEY'RE FUNNY) took his girl upstairs after a party at his house. Most people were already gone, it was only me, my girlfriend at the time and some other dudes left. Ten minutes or so later everyone was almost asleep and there were sex noises from upstairs. At some point they got really loud, almost screaming loud and my gf tells me to tell them to shut up so I go upstairs and my eyes almost start to bleed because what I see is shit on the bed, a crying girl holding her ass together with both hands. My buddy was throwing up in the shower. Turns out he ripped through her anus.