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post #115 of (permalink) Old 04-14-2013, 01:54 AM
Cookie Monster
The Chosen One
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Canada's East Coast
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Originally Posted by deadmanshand View Post
Actually I'm not looking for the scientific explanation. I know that one. I'm looking for an explanation or an evocation of the experience itself. I know the technicalities - what I'm trying to understand is the feeling behind them. It's the difference between knowing that something hurts and understanding how it hurts.

Does that make sense?
Alright, third time is the charm right? Let's try this again

Experiencing gender dysphoria and GID.

In everyday life in a male body, I had anywhere from a minute to two minutes of peace everyday. That time came in that blissful period of daze when you first wake up, before you become fully aware for the day. Every time I had to look in the mirror and see my masculine face, it made me very sad, I was looking at a person who didn't look at all like how I felt. Showering was absolutely hell for me, having to acknowledge exactly how masculine my body was just killed me, I died a little inside each time. Even beyond a physical aspect, interacting with other people was a painful experience for me too, the whole pronoun thing used to really get to me. I mean, I know plenty of non trans people who, like you, don't view their sexual identity as a cohesive thought. Nowadays I really don't either, but when I felt I didn't match, it was on my mind all the time. If anyone wants further details, my inbox is ready to receive your messages or I could do a blog post on it if anyone is interested in reading in depth.

The poster formerly known as Cowgirl

Thanks to Killz for the great sig!

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