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Old 06-27-2007, 02:32 PM   #37 (permalink)
-Lukas-
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Join Date: Feb 2007
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-Lukas- has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Actually Jaw, the outside of your brain itself has no nerves so it can't feel any pain, the pins wouldn't do a thing except for screwing with his motor functions and screwing with his senses, etc.
Nice idea though

Anyways, I thought the recipe form was brilliant so I'll start with that:

Agonie Finale (French for ultimate agony, lol I wanted to be fancy)
Ingredients:
1 pair of pliers
1 propane blow torch
1 packet of table salt
1 lemon
1 12lb sledge hammer
1 1/2" iron rod
2 sharpened railroad spikes
1 sharp paring knife
2 Rolls of duct tape
1 Pack of coals
1 Wire sponge
1 Ball gag
1 Cordless Power drill
1 Alarm clock
1 Jalapeno pepper
1 Sandwich
1 Chainsaw
400ug Lysergic acid dimethylamide (LSD)

Okkkkk folks, lets do some torturing. You want your "kitchen" to be clean and soundproof for this recipe, and be SURE to wash your hands after every step.

Strip the victim of all clothes and wash in a cold water bath, preferably with high pressure hose. Tie hands to the ceiling and leave victim on tippytoes. Ignite coals till smoldering and place under victims feet, let stand for 8 hours, then marinate the wounds with wire sponge and a mixture of salt and lemon juice. Do not sedate. Do not feed. Keep hydrated.
Next place victim in a chair, tie hands and feet down with duct tape, and place clamp over victims nose. Drill a small hose through the ball gag and place in victims mouth. Make sure hole is JUST large enough to allow for victim to be breathing normally in calm state, but victim will suffer from lack of air when in distressed state (eg. breathing fast). This ensures a continued feeling of suffocation, yet allows for the victim to be sustained for the duration of torture.
Take the pliers and begin ripping victims fingernails out. Make sure to pause one minute between each nail so the full extent of the pain may be felt. Next take pliers and apply pressure to now raw, bleeding fingers until they snap. twist pliers in desired direction until victim passes out from pain. Ignite another batch of hot coals, place OVER victims feet this time and let stand for 8 hours. Place alarm clock infront of victim so he knows when you are going to return.
Repeat same procedure as above with toe nails, again until victim loses consciousness. Place alarm clock again and let sit for 8 hours.
Ignite blowtorch and use it on victims already burned feet until crispy brown. Remove all crust with a wire sponge and again marinate wounds with salt and lemon juice.
Get paring knife and place the edge in the victims mouth. "Fishhook" with paring knife and rip victims mouth open to both sides. Now feed starving victim with Jalapeno pepper. Clean wounds, and let sit for 12 hours without alarm clock.
Return, and feed victim with Sandwich spiked with LSD. Leave again and let sit for 1 hour. Return and rev chainsaw loudly until victim is blubbering from fear. The LSD will now have kicked in and the victim will be 10 times more responsive to any stimulus, any pain will feel thousandfold worse and be severly emotionally scarring. Take the 1/2" iron rod and interweave between victims fingers. Next hit with sledgehammer until hands resemble roadkill.
Next use blowtorch to heat railroad spikes red hot, then slowly introduce the spikes into victim's eyes, hold until cooled to room temperature.
Now use sledgehammer to reduce victims limbs (arms and legs) to pulp for next two hours while victim is still tripping HARD (400ug is a HUGE dose).
Leave victim alone with pain and blast loud sounds into victims ears, nothing melodical, just random noise. Let sit like this for 12 hours.
Upon return, victim will be a snivelling, mentally deranged wretch and will be begging you to kill him. Gladly comply, using the blowtorch to scorch every inch of nonburned skin, and then using the chainsaw to cut victims pulped limbs off. Take the torso of the possibly still living victim and place in heavy fabric. Place bundle into a large bag (Must be made of non-rotting material, prefferably heavy nylon, and be sure to sew everything closed) with at least 150lbs ballast weight, and dump in nearest river. If victim is still conscious by this point, they will feel the drowning, if victim is not, lucky them.
Good luck and happy cooking.
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