How do you stop a baby from choking?
Take your dick out of its mouth.
What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
What's the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
Grandmothers don't die when you **** them up the ass.
What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby?
What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ?
What is red and pink and can't turn round in a corridor?
A baby with a javelin through its throat.
Why is there always hot water at childbirth?
In case of a stillbirth, soup.
What has 4 legs and one arm?
A Doberman in a children's playground!
What's the worst thing about ******* a dead baby?
Wiping the blood stains off of your clown suit!
Why did the toddler drop it's lollipop?
It was hit by a truck.
What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender?
Hold on. I'll tell you in a second.
Fighters to watch
Chris 'The Chronic' Conolley
Marcus 'The Bruiser' Brimage
Adrian 'Guard Yo Grill' Miles