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You know you're too into MMA when:

7K views 108 replies 46 participants last post by  Dr Gonzo 
#1 ·
- You cant resist locking up the head and arm triangle chock when you're cuddling in bed with your girl

- You've believed in aliens ever since you watched fedor fight

- You think miguel torres' mullet looks awesome

- You play around and wrestle your 10 year old nephew, and cant resist securing the full mount

- You hear someone refer to MMA the sport as "UFC" and want to punch them in the throat

- Just thinking of the name 'Corey Hill' makes you cringe

- You make sure when you're doin your girl that you dont leave yourself open to a triangle

Let's see how long we can make this list, MMA-Forum :)
 
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#2 ·
-You have a dream that you were on TUF with no fight experience

-You tried to armbar your pet dog

-You think it's a good idea to grow facial hair like Keith Jardine

-You hear Mike Goldberg's voice as you finish having sex "It's alllll over!"

-You high leg kicked a 11 year old wearing a tap out shirt that was talking shit

-You actually appreciate a good ground game and then proceed to choke out your friend that keeps ragging on it

-You begin to realize you are in better shape than BJ Penn

-Your dream of having a sword tatoo down your chest has been shattered

-You hallucinate that Gina Carano floats into your bedroom through an open window
 
#3 ·
-You are constantly finding yourself practicing BJJ on your couch pillows and choking them out.

-You can't go a day without looking something up on the internet MMA related.

-You are constantly critiquing people who wear MMA attire.

-You play UFC Undisputed 2009 Demo till your hands bleed/thumbs sore and all you can think about is Goldberg and Rogan talking about John Hackleman and ChuteBox training.

-You still are finding yourself discussing "Greasegate".

-Everytime a PPV comes around you throw a party that is "SuperBowl Esque" with hor'dourves and a keg of beer.

-When you patiently wait at your computer days leading up to a fight to catch a Dana White video blog.

-You can only masterbate to chicks with five ounce gloves on specifically Gina Carano or any ring girl for that matter.
 
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#4 ·
I love these threads.

- You hear someone refer to MMA the sport as "UFC" and want to punch them in the throat
I feel this way all the time.

Some contributions:

- You're watching a porno and you wonder why he doesn't pass the guard.

- You yell out Gina Carano's name during sex with your girlfriend (or boyfriend).

- You think GSP's accent is sexy.

- You refer to someone getting owned as "getting Fedor'd."

- You refer to goatees as either "Jardine's" or "Abbott's," depending on their length and color.

- You want to meet Rachel Leah so she'll show you fighters' houses.

- You sometimes dream of shining Dana White's head.

- You watch boxing and get annoyed when they don't throw knees in the clinch.

- You have an internal debate about whether you should cover someone's eyes or choke them out while you sneak up on them.

- You imagine Bas Rutten and Stephen Quadros narrating your sexual encounters.
 
#5 · (Edited)
i have laughed out loud 4 times in this thread already. Keep em coming.

- You get super exited when you realise you are the exact same weight and dimensions as miguel torres

- You've practically learnt fluent japanese from watching so many Pride and K-1 shows.

- Just thinking of bas rutten makes you smile

- You think you could take on that huge guy at the bar, because he smokes and would "gas early in the second". When you wake up you realise he flattened you before you even got your hands up. (True story)

- You're looking forward to may 23rd more than your own birthday

- You get audibly exasperated every time you see a brand new member on MMAF make a p4p thread
 
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#7 ·
Whenever somebody mentions the word liver, your heart breaks because Bas isn't gay

You get a boner when somebody passes guard.

You get a boner when somebody pulls guard.

When you see tall people, you wonder what their reach is.

When you go to Montreal, you ask everybody there if they know who GSP is because you "were imbressed with their berformance."

You give girls rear naked chokes and tell them it will all be over soon.

When you see fights in person, you announce them like you're a color commentator.
 
#8 · (Edited)
- When you get excited when you hear about an axe murderer

- you start to wonder whether your high school maths teacher could beat anderson silva

- you know about a guy who legally changed his name to warhammer

- you hope each morning your woken up by bruce buffer saying ITSSSSS TIMMEEEEE

- you get extremely annoyed when people say rua instead of hua

- And finally when you get frustrated from explaining to all the newbs that bruce lee would not destroy everyone in the ufc with his one inch punch

Note: Nice thread by the way
 
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#9 ·
-You find yourself announcing fights in a Bruce Buffer voice out of nowhere.

-You act and talk like Bruce Buffer while talking to your friends in mid-conversation.

-You get seriously nervous or scared for your favorite fighters before and during a fight.

-You are really freaking out before you have to watch 2 of your favorite fighters fight each other because you want neither to lose.

-You put on 5 oz. gloves and your hands feel much lighter.

-When people are yelling at you at work and you just look at them and smile all while thinking of all the different ways you could choke them out.

-When you realize you weigh the same as Sean Sherk, Donald Cerrone, and Diego Sanchez and you realize you would never stand a chance.

Pretty much everything that I have mentioned either happened to me or I am guilty of doing it.
 
#28 ·
These threads never get old



It's disgusting how often I do this walking around, on the subway, waiting on line (any line)...


- when you shadow box everywhere you go

- you plan your months around UFC events.

- you get a hotel room in Philly 4 months before the event, before it was even confirmed.

- you can't go online without checking 3-4 mma sites
 
#12 ·
*You have to remind yourself that in a real fight you can use groin strikes, hits to the back of the head, and kicks on a downed opponent.

*You introduce people using the Buffer Spin Move

*You ask for a PPV for your Birthday (May 23 please)

*When someone say's "He got Franklined" you know what they mean.

*You always had doubts about Kimbo Slice's MMA game.

*You remember a time when Ken Shamrock was a valuable component to the MMA world.

*You "cut weight" instead of diet.

*One of the standards by which you measure your cardio is in terms of rounds.

These are just some of the symptoms...
 
#43 ·
*You "cut weight" instead of diet.
This is so funny because I say that all the time. " dam i've put on a few pounds i will have to cut weight to get back into my weight class :D.

*When ever your friends wrestle you wish you was on the floor with the half naked man.

*Never mind how big somebody is you always think 'well if I get him on his back I can win this'.

*Your friends avoid mma in general because when they get you started you dont shut the F*** up!

*Instead of watching porn you watch a large russian and couldnt imagine anybody else you would rather marry. Just me?

also

*Instead of having naked lady pictures on your comp and as your background you have fedor as your background (that you made yourself obviously) and random pictures of buff looking half nude guys.

*When talking to lasses you cant help but go on about mma.

*You want to assault anybody who says anything about mma and they dont know what they are talking about.
 
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#13 · (Edited)
*You introduce people using the Buffer Spin Move
-You hear Mike Goldberg's voice as you finish having sex "It's alllll over!"
- you hope each morning your woken up by bruce buffer saying ITSSSSS TIMMEEEEE

massive belly laughs to be had here. solid gold guys :) keep it up



- You get tingles up and down your spine when you watch the old pride entrances and staredowns

- You just stare incredulously when somebody does't know the WEC

- You shadow box when you're bored even though you couldn't hit steven hawkings

- You watch an old episode of Fear Factor and keep waiting for rogan to start explaining leg kicks

- You have never trained properly but believe you'd do ok versus a gracie

- You don't have any friends into MMA so you order $50 PPVs for yourself

- You can't conceive how MMA isn't the largest sport in the world yet

- Every time you hear someone say 'second to none' you think of joe rogan

- You post on MMAF :)
 
#14 ·
You've changed the way you eat because you're thinking of making weight.

You still play other sports but now consider it a form of conditioning.

You pretend you're in the prefight weigh-ins in front of the bathroom mirror.
 
#15 ·
I dreamt that I fought in the UFC, almost got KO'd but eventually won by kneebar. Plus, I was outside of my body while doing it so I had to make all the moves in the air for me in the octagon to make them (wtf!?)
 
#16 ·
I had a dream that I fought Jesus for the UFC bantamweight title (apparently, this was in the future, when the UFC and WEC have blended together). He defeated Miguel Torres to win the belt, and had god (beard and all) and the holy spirit (who, for some reason, looks like Fedor) in his corner.

I took a beating in round one and two, but caught him with a big right hand in the third, got on top, and put him in a crucifix to get the tapout.

You know you're weird when your dreams combine MMA, explicit and subtle forms of blasphemy and DMX's "Ain't No Sunshine" as my walkout music (which also played after I won, like the WWE).
 
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#19 ·
-when arguing with your girlfriend about taking out the trash you fake a takedown and go for a flying armbar

-you pull your punching bag off of the ceiling practicing your MT clinch on it

-you can't wait for an idiot to confront you at any moment so that you can viciously submit him

-you make your girlfriend have staredowns with you

-you make everyone who comes into your home watch recorded MMA fights....all the time

-during missionary sex you pass guard and lock in an armbar

-you don't watch MMA Fights, you "study" MMA Fights

-you've put at least one dog to sleep via rear naked choke
 
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#20 ·
* When your DOG knows which submission moves you are going for and reacts accordingly. (I guess that also means your ground game needs work

* When your wife tells you she needs to lose 4 pounds and you recommend cardio and a sweat suit, not a diet (or more intelligently, tell her she's perfect and doesn't need to lose a pound). .

* WHen the guys at work who ever watch fights ask you if you saw "the fights on last night" which were Unleased, etc, and they say, "you know, the guy with the tattoos," and you know EXACTLY who they are talking about.
 
#24 ·
-Regular people think the screaming pride lady is crazy, you think she's one of the greatest thing to happen to MMA.

-The PRIDE theme gives you shivers and tears at the same time.

-You know what your theme music and nickname would be if you were a fighter.

-BJ Penn accused you of taking steroids.

-When watching a live PPV with friends, they listen to you hyping the next fight instead of Joe and Mike, or the pre fight interviews.

-You got rid of all vaseline in your house, just in case BJ Penn shows up.

-You're sometimes more exited for an undercard fight then the main event.
 
#27 ·
- You cant resist locking up the head and arm triangle chock when you're cuddling in bed with your girl

- You play around and wrestle your 10 year old nephew, and cant resist securing the full mount

- You hear someone refer to MMA the sport as "UFC" and want to punch them in the throat

- Just thinking of the name 'Corey Hill' makes you cringe

- You make sure when you're doin your girl that you dont leave yourself open to a triangle
guilty. yup, girlfriend's 7-year-old sister. almost did that yesterday. ::Shudder:: never!


You almost get into a fight with stupid frat boys every fight you watch at a bar.

You're actually excited when some dbag grinds up on your friends when you're out cuz you might get a chance to try out a sweet move.

The guy behind the bar during fight nights knows you by name and has your drink ready for you (my guy even gave my girl a couple free drinks he invented. I tipped the sh*t out of him too).
 
#30 ·
-someone went for a high five and you countered with a spinning back fist.
-When listening to music you consider every song a possible interance song.
-you tell your kid an A+ in Geometry is good Octagon controle
-You think it's still possible to be a Protiege in MMA in your mid-forties
-You've lost your voice watching a paper view
-You've been caught by your girlfriend rolling with another guy with your shirts off and see nothing Gay about it
 
#31 ·
- When people ask you who you think is going to win instead of just naming the fighter you name the pro's and con's of each fighter, give an in depth analsys of how you think the fight will go, and even state your round and finish method expected

- You constantly bitch about the lack of ***** trainers near you which is keeping you from taking Fedor's title

- You are going to see your family for the first time in a couple of years and you are trying to figure out how to get away from them and watch the PPV (actually happening to me, need to watch on May 23rd!)

- Your wife/gf buys you UFC tickets for your birthday and you cry, but show no emotion when watching your wedding video

- When you and your wife discuss children you start talking about the order you want to introduce them into martial arts instead of where you hope they go to college (pissed my wife off a few times with this, lol. "Ok, so he will start with MT, then move to BJJ so he is ready for wrestling when he gets to middle school, etc")

- You know which song UFC fighters actually come out to vs what they play on UFC replay's on Spike
 
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