My family totally sounds like that too. We have to be careful taking my grandma to restaraunts if she asks for a fork they think she is propositioning them, " hey honey when you get a chance can I get a new fawk(fork) for my lobstah?" and my cousin, "who the fawk is peter? My name's petaah! Now where the fawk did I pahk the caah?!" and everything is "wicked"