Oh my God... One word of warning folks, save your Blogs before you post them, and download that ieSpell checker before you use it. One click and all the stuff I spent the last hour writing is gone
Alright, let me try to compose myself and get the gist out for you. I was reading an article posted up on Yahoo titled: Arguing the Upside of Being Down
. In it it sited the book Against Happiness: In Praise of Melancholy
by Eric G. Wilson. Wilson suffers from being in a state of chronic melancholy and has tried many times to find a therapeutic way out. None have worked for him, and he's found that embracing his state of mind isn't as bad as it has been made out to be. In fact he claims there are cultural merits of melancholy by sighting the works of such Artists and Writers as Virginia Woolf, Vincent Van Gogh, Hart Crane and Ernest Hemingway. Further he asserts that by having his family accepting his disposition (instead of placing him in a situation where he is pretending to be something else) is key to bringing them close together.
While I do agree with his view on accepting your state of being for what it is, I don't quite agree that his state of being is something that is permanent
. Now, I'm not going to open the lines of debate regarding how heartless I am to those with clinical depression (believe me, I am very familiar with it). However, I have to point out that even such inert things as stones can change their state of being if some sort of action is put upon them, whether they are rolling down a hill, flying through the air, sinking to the bottom of the see, or being crafted in sculptures, jewelry or monuments. Unlike stones, human beings are in a loftier position in the grand hierarchy of cognizance and volition. Many times the greatest impetus for change occurs internally with our own conscious choices, even if we choose to do nothing at all
It is just like the martial artist that has trouble learning a technique and its defense. The can choose to complete eschew any practice of it, only to fall victim to it or completely miss a chance at victory using it. Now in comparison to the martial artist that accepts it is a point of weakness in their game, and accepts that they have to work on addressing the technique, the first will most likely stagnate, become frustrated, and will probably falter in other techniques as a result. All because they chose to do nothing about a tangible part of their game.
Now, I was going to tie this into the "White Belts Mentality" but after writing what I have (twice now), it really is a different (but related) subject. Many times, slumps, hang-ups, difficulties, and stress can make our endeavors in the gym, dojo, or on the mat much harder than they would normally be. A lot of times we stagnate and can't seem to find a way out of our slump and fight against what is going on and the current state that we are in so blindly that we fail to realize that it may not be anything we can change just yet
. If you have just started training and you can't even get good position on a higher belt and you are getting frustrated, you have to understand that it is like getting frustrated over the fact that it is called "training" and not "mastering."
Personally, I guess what really caught my eye on that article is the fact that I'm in a position where I can relate. You see, currently my life is like this:
You may have heard that I worked for Activision. Well, at the end of last year, Activision and Vivendi Universal announced a merger. It seems that the CEOs of both companies are big Voltron fans, because they've succeeded in combining into the largest publisher of interactive entertainment software in the world. Well, with this sort of thing, a lot of the operative departments get "restructured" and there can be casualties as many employees' positions overlap. I just happened to be one of those casualties.
Suffice it to say, my roller coaster ride on my "dream job" came to an abrupt halt on the 18th of January. Along with being informed that it was a "business decision" I was offered a severance and asked to quietly disappear into the ether. So, I took the severance along with the realization of what I always knew was true: "Job Security" is a myth as fickle and intangible as a woman's g-spot. You can kind of guess what I was left holding.
The weird thing about it was the fact that I realize that it sucks that I got laid off, but I haven't gotten depressed over it. Getting depressed over it would be like getting depressed over the fact that I haven't won the lottery
. It's just a pointless endeavor over something that is completely outside of my control. What I find surprising at this point is that I realized I want to do something else above and beyond working for the QA department of a Video Game publisher.
Don't get me wrong, if I find another job in the video game industry (provided it pays enough) I'll probably take it. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not there now, and I plan to do things with my life while I'm away from it. Hell, not to be too cliché', but you know how they say "Every dark cloud has a silver lining?" Well, not that I'm not working nights I've been able to double the amount of time I've been able to train. Giving up a job I like has actually given me more freedom to do something I love.
I think I can accept that.
With that, it's late, and I'm tired of writing this. So before the forum system erases yet another version of this blog, I'm going to post it. Hit me back with your thoughts folks. If you like it cool. If you think I'm full of crap, let me know. Hell, let me know if you think it was just too long. If you've found the blogs, you're not new to the forum, so I'm not even going to tell you how to reply.