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So Lately...(School, Spring, and Death)

Posted 02-17-2009 at 01:59 AM by Steph05050
...school has been killing me. I guess this is what I get for being a History major. I'm reading 200+ page book every week and having to write a 10 page paper on it over the weekends. Thankfully this week I only have to read like 2 chapters and thats it.

This Spring might be the best yet cause I have so much planned. In March I'm going to Six Flags, in April I'm going to SticksFest which is this country thing where you camp out for 2 nights with bonfires and grilling while all day for those 2 days huge country singers perform, then in May I'm going to see 3 doors down and they are like one of my favorite bands. Of course I'll go to the beach a lot around April till Summer.


In June I'll be turning 21 and I can't wait, not so I can drink but just to be 21.

Well I still got school to deal with and it sucks...I'm doing very well but it's taking up ALL of my time.


Last week a friend of mine accidently shot and killed himself while cleaning his gun...it was so sad. The older I get the more death seems to be around which sucks. I didn't cry or do I ever when I hear of death. I've had close friends die that I never shed a tear over. I don't know why. I have this strange paranoia about death. I don't fear it, I'm not scared, but I think about it a lot. When I drive I always think this is when I'm going to die. I have three crosses in my car just because I somewhat feel protected with them there. When I lay in bed I always think of possible ways someone could break in and kill me. When I'm in class I think of different ways a suicide killer could walk in and shoot up my classroom. Its strange, but I constantly think of death and how it could happen. I never felt this way about cars until I was in a car wreck and my close friend died. I never thought about someone breaking in my house and killing me until 2 years ago someone actually broke in my house. I never though about suicide killer until VA Tech happened. Now I'm sure I'll fear guns. I don't tell anyone about this at all, this paranoia, but I've always wanted to talk about it and well I don't know any of yall personally so its somewhat easier to blog about it.

Thats all,

Stephanie
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Supersoph199's Avatar
I know how your feeling about the whole thinking about death. I also dont really fear it i just think about it way too much, such as when on my motorbiike i will just constanly think about crashing or some car or truck driving into me. I never really thought about it until i went out on the bike one day and saw two crashes.

Thought i would just tell you that your not alone
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Posted 02-17-2009 at 07:43 AM by Supersoph199 Supersoph199 is offline
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wukkadb's Avatar
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I'm also a history major... cool stuff.
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Posted 02-17-2009 at 05:07 PM by wukkadb wukkadb is offline
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Supersoph199's Avatar
Forgot to add im also sorry to hear about your friend
Ive just recently lost someone, someone i looked up too and its hard to deal with.
I understand and know how you must be feeling. Hope your okay
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Posted 02-18-2009 at 02:31 PM by Supersoph199 Supersoph199 is offline
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Steph05050's Avatar
im fine sry that u lost someone too
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Posted 02-18-2009 at 03:18 PM by Steph05050 Steph05050 is offline
 

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