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Ted: I met a girl.
John Bennett: Nice!
Ted: She's a cashier. Know what I'd like to do to her? Might call her 'Dirty Fuzzy'.
Ted: I f***** her with a Parsnip..then sold it to a family with four small children. - Lolz!
Boss: You're being promoted!
Ted: Oh hey listen, try this. I told my weed guy to step it up and he gave me that.
John Bennett: What is this?
Ted: It's called 'Mind ****', it's actually pretty mellow.
John Bennett: It doesn't sound very mellow.
Ted: Well he only had three other batches: 'Gorilla Panic', 'They're coming! They're coming!' and something called 'This Is Permanent'... Go on, spark it up!
Oh man...what a character!
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Marcus Aurelius: Tell me again, Maximus, why are we here?
Maximus: For the glory of the Empire, sire.
Baked, not fried... the healthy choice.
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Ted - Official trailer
Linear Mode
