Using swords/guns in the UFC
Seriously, I don't know about you guys but I'm tired of watching this ***** ass fist and leg shit. I mean no offense, these guys like Silva and Jones are semi-decent fighters I guess but I know for a fact I could destroy them both.
This might sound like bravado but I grew up in the slums of Mumbai, fighting everyday for food. I was taken in by monks and taught the martial arts and would be pitted against other children in illegal fighting competitions. I personally do have kills to my name and have fought tigers/cows/panthers etc. Sometimes it has been close but I have always come out on top.
I also had metal implanted into both hands so that did help a bit.
Anyway, I propose the idea of using guns and swords in the UFC. Think about it, do you want to see Silva vs Jones using their bodies (I mean wtf?).. Or do you want to see them both in full riot gear firing at each other with glocks and Ak-47s, or charging each other with katanas.
There is the added risk of injury and death but personally I think this is the way the UFC should be going. As I know for a fact I could knock out both Silva and Jones with relative ease, I would have no problem fighting them with weapons.
Any fighter worth their salt would be put their life on the line. If they're not willing to die in extreme agony for their passion, they may as well go home and masturbate. This is what the UFC is about. Risking your death for the glory.
I have sent letters to Dana and to the other UFC officials detailing my proposals. I expect them to incorporate these changes, if not I think they have lost their way.
There is also the added benefit of having seasonal themed weapons choices. So for example on the 4th July there would be a fight using muskets.
However as this may be illegal in the USA all fights will take place on a boat over international waters. Tickets will cost $400,000 a piece, which I think is a fair price. This would attract high profile celebrities and businessman, and potential future investors.
As well as being a master fighter I also have a PHD in business from Harvard. I think that these changes will elevate the UFC to the true height, demanded by its valor and by its honor.
Whilst fighters continue to use their hands/feet and killing is against the rules of the fight, the UFC will remain a disgraced, sissy-clad sport.