Hello , I got into a bad situation recently . A guy was talking alot of shit because of a something old that was brung up by some girls and yeah he had forgot about most of the things but yeah he was starting on me and acting tough holding my arm when i was trying to walk away. he said things like "wana walk away alone into these trees just you and me" to try and show off.
Me being stronger and heavier than him knowing i could or atleast have a good chance of beating him decided not to .... i guess i was also scared. this has happened many timee in my life , i have physical strength nearly 0 mentally. I dont do MMA i watch every now and then and i wanted to know how you guys get over fear and try to become tough mentally.
The funny thing is im considered really tough and strong when i play rugby but outside i feel like a *****.
Please suggest what i could do to become tough without starting MMA or any other martial art.
I think most people get nervous right before a fight unless they have been drinking.
If you don't want to try something like BJJ or or full out MMA you can start watching some youtube videos to help you learn some basics. Next your going to want to get a few buddies to spar with you to practice what your learning. Get some gloves, headgear, and a mouthpiece and have some fun.
Another thing you can do is get a nice grappling dummy and a wrestling mat. I own a 150lb grappling dummy and it's awesome. It's much heavier then it seems. I love wrestling and BJJ so it's a great workout and it's fun.
Your not going to turn into a badass doing these things but you will be able to protect yourself a little better plus it will give you more confidence.
You could have went into those trees, that guy could have had a knife and stabbed you.
Or you could have beat the shit out of him and he might have reported you to the police.
But if you are walking away out of fear, rather than it being that right thing to do, I can see why that would play with you mentally.
I'm not sure how you could gain confidence in a fight without knowing what you are capable of, in which case a martial art would be perfect - doesnt have to be full contact, it could be something like Judo or Jitsu - even joining a boxing gym and learning how to punch would help.
I got into my fair share of scraps in the past and to be honest, I don't sit around thinking how tough I was back then. I am mostly happy that I didn't end up getting stabbed/shot.
I boxed for a few years back in high school and participated in various other martial arts after as well as playing football/ice hockey which would be considered "tough" sports. With all that said, I will do just about anything I possibly can to stay out of a fight. I won't engage in that unless I honestly feel like I have no other option.
A fight can get out of control quickly. You have the potential to set off a chain reaction involving people around you and basically have minimal control over the situation. I have seen people get hurt that weren't even involved in the situation at all.
Random personal story. I am out drinking and a buddy of mine ended up getting jumped in the parking lot. I run out and jump in. Everything spins completely out of control. I am talking probably 20+ people out brawling now, a gunshot goes off and the cops come out. (Thankfully nobody was actually shot as far as I know.) I didn't think a big ass brawl was about to happen. Certainly did not assume someone was about to pop off a shot. But it did, and that could have easily been someone dead, could have been me shot, could have been some random person that wasn't even involved. The whole tough guy street fight thing just flat out is not worth it unless you literally have no other option.
If I was in your situation, I would have just walked away.
I just want be so tough that no one would hold on to me like im a lil bitch :/ , it was just him in front of girls acting tough . Funny how he apologized after but still people know how strong i am due to how i perform at rugby and stuff but i still get mad disrespect. I had one fight a few months ago which was piss easy and still people act like im just some lil shit.
Hello , I got into a bad situation recently . A guy was talking alot of shit because of a something old that was brung up by some girls and yeah he had forgot about most of the things but yeah he was starting on me and acting tough holding my arm when i was trying to walk away. he said things like "wana walk away alone into these trees just you and me" to try and show off.
Well, the mentality those types of people have is they don't want to provoke someone they know is going to beat the !@#% out of them. They're not going to look for the biggest, toughest, person they can find to be a prick to. Some (maybe a lot) of them are cowards. They look for the most unaggressive and weakest person they can and push them around to act like they're tough.
For the most part, they'll only act that way if they're confident they can get away with it. They start off with small, little, probing jabs. Then over time they up the ante. At first they'll do things and say they're "just joking". Then over time if you let them get away with it, it'll become less and less of a joke.
I really hate people like that and I can't really give you advice because I'm not very good at dealing with it in a healthy way.
In the past I've had co-workers get out of line. I told them come here I want to tell you something. I just tell them -- if you do that again, I'm going to knock you the f out.
Another time, you know how sometimes at work you might be reaching for something up on a shelf? One time this guy I worked with was standing right next to me when I was reaching for something and I grabbed it and as I bringing it down I turned and spinning back elbowed him in the head. I don't know if it was intentional or not, I was really sleep deprived.
Then I said.. "oh damn, I didn't know you were there, sorry" he might've been a bit dazed and wobbled for a second, I don't know blank expression. Inside I was kind of laughing my ass off cuz that guy was such a dick.
But really that's probably the completely wrong way to do things and I'm dumb. Walking away is probably the best way to do things my example is stupid. I probably wouldn't act that way now.
feeling scared is normal, there are very few people who don't feel scared or nervous when conflict is brewing - even great boxing and MMA champions have admitted to feeling fear before big fights - it's just human.
If you really want to look into something I'd suggest looking at the Gracie bullyproof stuff. It's basic self defence but also teaches a lot of useful stuff about taking tension out of situations and avoiding conflict.
Don't get it twisted here though nothing is tough about getting involved in fights in public, and whatever people want to say there is nothing '*****' about walking away. I've seen many many times a bigger, tougher more combat experienced combatant get beaten up, it's never worth it - you don't know what anyone is capable of.
I had a similar conflict with someone in my neighbourhood a few years ago. He and a few of his idiotic mates would go around letting off air horns in old ladies faces and intimidating people. One day he was on his own was getting in the face of a lady in her 70s outside our house so I went out to put a stop to it.
I managed to put him on his back and subdue him and I felt I scared him enough to put him off doing it again. The next morning I went outside to find the tyres slashed on our car and my windows smashed in, me and my partner replaced them only to have the exact same thing done less than a week later - in hindsight the route I should have gone is filming the incident and letting the police do their thing - I got involved and it cost me hundreds of dollars and nothing positive came of it. Sometimes what you perceive as a '*****' way out is the right way out.
Anon, how many times have you been battered though? How many times have these people starting on you actually acted on it and attacked you?
If the answer is zero, then you have absolutely zero reason to want to change stuff. They are trying to peacock while you, a reasonable adult, aren't getting sucked into the bullshit.
If someone actually attacks you, threatening your health (a single punch can be a big threat) THEN it's time to be tough. Only when you are ACTUALLY in danger is it time for toughness to be relevant. Outside of that, it's all bullshit. I'm fairly confident that since doing martial arts, even though not at a high level, I'd be able to kick the shit out of the majority of people I meet on the street. I haven't so much as had an "altercation" in the four years of me training. That's probably down to the confidence. I no longer feel the need to "prove I'm tough". I'm pretty sure I can handle myself if things came to it, and if I can't then I'm at least confident I tried my best.
Fk being "tough". I'm the kind of guy who grows a beard, eats stake, drinks beer and watches guys fight. I'm over compensating to begin with. But when it comes to "toughness" I couldn't give a fk if people think I'm tough or not, and I would consider myself more tough for avoiding situations like the one you avoided in your original convo. When push comes to shove and you're in danger, THAT is when you need to act. Other than that? Let them think you're a bitch. Who cares?
I've never been in a proper fight (outside of the gym) in my life. I've been close, several times, but I always take the "don't fight unless I 100% can't avoid it", and even then, I'd probably not throw first.
I've done MMA/Muay thai etc on and off for the past 8 years. I never got into it for any other reason than it looked like fun. I'm fairly confident that I could put a beating on someone if I absolutely had to, but why would I want to? Why would anybody WANT to? The risks far outweigh any sense of being tough or being seen as tough.
If you want to be 'tough', or appear 'tough' I'm not entirely sure how you'd do that without learning some kind of fighting skill.
So yeah, Fk being tough.
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