Retro Watch: Pride: BODY BLOW!
Quadros and Bas Rutten start us off. Bas is wearing Pride gloves and hits the heavy bag a little. I feel so bad for that heavy bag's liver. Quadros punches the heavy bag and probably pretended it was Jerry Millen. Wait, was Gary (Jerry) Millen even around during this time period? Quadros doesn't look as sickly as he does now, but he's still an annoying twat. We get this funny bit where Bas Rutten talks about how the gloves are his best friends until Wanderlei shows up and Bas plays scared. Only Bas could've pulled that off. Then again, Bas could pull off wearing a diaper and singing "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" while hitting a seal with a spiked bat.
Nakamura is looking quite chunky. Rogerio Nogueira is looking like a badass, as usual. Yoshida is in the corner, looking like Yoda. This was Nakamura's first fight, which is amazing, considering his first fight is against lil Nog. Bas Rutten immediately points out Nakamura's legs and is wowed by them. Holy hell, swank judo throw by Kaz!!!! From there, Nakamura gets put into all kinds of swank sub attempts and defends them well until Rogerio says "Screw this" and slaps on a swanky armbar. Hell yes, dawg, this was the swankness. Probably my favorite Rogerio fight, as he really got to show off his BJJ. Nakamura was all chubby and judo-y in this fight. He lost, but he really didn't, you know? Great stuff.
Alex Stiebling is with Quadros and is rocking blue hair. His new nickname? The Fighting Al Bundy. Alex wants to fight Ninja next, and I'm sad that that fight never happened, as it would've been awesome. Stiebling is like that one cousin who gets drunk at family get together's. I dig that.
Bas calls Shoji the small Igor Vovchanchyn. What the hell was he smoking? Seriously, Vovy was awesome, while Shoji sucked. Shoji enters to hardly any cheers from the crowd. Kind of a depressing entrance, as Shoji looks pretty sad that nobody really cares about him. Okay, the crowd finally gives him some props. I'm convinced that the crowd is growing tired of Shoji and his shittiness.
Stiebling is not Asian, so he doesn't get his entrance shown on DVD.
They start and Stiebling is way bigger than Shoji. He's also incredibly pale, almost matching Shoji's white shorts. Stiebling's stand-up is looking pretty decent, while Shoji is just throwing shit. Shoji takes him down, gets half guard then sidemount. He does this in such a slow manner that I'm shocked the ref doesn't stand them up. Uh oh, the Ivan Salaverry position for Shoji but Alex gets out. More smothering from Shoji, and Bas is getting pretty bored by Shoji's lay n pray. Shoji's Asian, so therefore, he doesn't get a yellow card. This gets so bland that Quadros starts talking about Stiebling's sense of humor. Okay, Shoji is back in sidemount, gets up and finally unleashes some GnP. Stiebling gets up and they clinch. I don't remember this round being this bad. They slug in the second and Shoji knocks Alex down and tries to finish. Yikes, Alex was close to being done there and finally recovers. Shoji is in half guard now and is in full mount. Stiebling gets out. Now Stiebling is in mount!!! and he's trying to choke out Shoji. Akira almost taps, but doesn't, so Alex let's go and starts to beat the hell out of Shoji. Round over. Man, freakin' amazing round. Stiebling does really well in the striking in the third. Shoji ends up winning and I groan. All Shoji did was lay on Stiebling and had that knockdown. Meanwhile, Alex won the stand-up, pressed the action, almost had a submission and beat the hell out of Akira. Shoji cries and I bet he sends those 2 judges cookies ever month.
Newton is rocking a pretty decent long sleeve shirt. He looks like a community college student.
Quadros asks if Anderson is still the Roy Jones Jr. of Vale Tudo, and Anderson says that he's better than him.
Carlos enters to some fruity music. Like, really fruity. I never pictured Newton as a fan of bubble gum pop. He seems more like a Daft Punk guy. Newton actually lands a decent punch on Silva and executes a nice takedown. From there, Newton ends up getting mount and does so in such an awesome, smooth manner. Carlos was such a magnificent grappler. He pounds on Silva a little and Silva gets back into guard. The ref stands them up and.....HUGE KNEE!!! Carlos Newton is so dead. So, so, so, so, so dead. Silva starts going crazy afterwards and starts dancing and yelling "AHHH!!!!" "HEY!!!!" "AHHHH!!!!" Wanderlei kind of looks bored in there.
Holy crap, Henderson is sporting some sleazy bed head. Did anyone actually think that Shungo stood a chance? Henderson freakin' swings as does Oyama. They touch gloves, because that's what they do when they punch each other in the face. Shungo actually executes a nice throw on Hendo but Hendo gets back up. Henderson takes him down and Oyama gets back up. Then, Henderson cracks Oyama and takes him down. Oyama is just dead. Fun scrap.
Nino's sideburns are marvelous. Nino's all "My sideburns are thicker than Elvis, they're more like Wolverine" and he does so smoothly. I bet Quadros wanted to make out with him after he said that.
Sakuraba enters with his glorious music playing. He enters with a horned mask, and Quadros shows his dorkiness by mentioning Dave Meltzer. Saku takes off the horned mask and is now rocking a Great Muta-like mask. Okay, now I'm showing my dorkiness. Sakuraba's the man.
Elvis doesn't get his own entrance because, well, ah, nevermind.
Sakuraba beats the hell out of Nino early on, executing some nice kicks. The commentators pretty much just Nino out and start to suck Sakuraba off. Schembri's stand-up is pretty awful. Yeesh, Sakuraba murders Nino's legs. Sakuraba then gets too cute for his own good and eats a nasty knee which pretty much kills of dead. Nino then kicks the shit out of him and Quadros does his really annoying "OH MY, ELVIS WON!!!!" spiel that sounds really forced. Huge upset. Like, really, really, really huge upset, as Nino was made to get whomped by Sakuraba. Elvis Schembri is/was very underrated. The guy's very tough, yet he never really got the respect he deserved. Elvis does some posing, and Renzo is all Renzo-y. Takada looks on with hate. Better watch out, Elvis, Takada might hit a worked punched on you.
Quinton was not yet insane. Kevin was sort of insane here, but this was a more calm insane. Not very roidy, which is sort of disappointing, as Randleman is at his best when he's roid raging.
Randleman calls Fedor "Fedoroff" and then starts to ramble.
Rampage enters in a pretty dull manner.
Quinton's takedown defense is something great in this fight. Randleman took guys like Randy Couture down, and he couldn't take Rampage down. Coleman's awesome here, as he yells stuff like "WATCH THE HIGH KNEE, KEV!!!!" "HANDS UP!!! HANDS UP!!!!" Coleman is the best cornerman ever. Man, Rampage hits a nasty knee and some nice punches and then whomps Randleman in sickening fashion. Great showing from him, as he was able to not let Randleman do anything. The yellow card was unfair. Akira Shoji stalled worse, yet didn't get a yellow card. It pays to be Asian.
Uh oh, Wanderlei hits the ring post-fight, says "Muh-Belt" and pushes Rampage. Shit goes down and MMA fans go crazy. I love Wandy and his craziness. Dude just doesn't care. He even gets on the mic and challenges Rampage. Rampage knows that he's not going to fight a bald Wanderlei yet. Now, if Wandy had hair, Quinton would've fought him, but bald Wandy is a dangerous man.
We get clips of Nog subbing fools and being the man. Nogueira thinks Fedor will be his toughest fight and gives him his props. Nog thinks he has a little more technique, though. Fedor is all calm and humble, calling Nog the best fighter and all that.
That slicked back hair announcer with the cool glasses is way better than Bruce Buffer.
Fedor enters all Fedor-y
Nog's theme music is damn awesome. Nogueira enters, shadow boxing and wearing a cool robe.
Man, what a beating. What a nasty, nasty, nasty beating. Fedor hit Nogueira with some disgustingly hard shots that would kill a normal human being. Since it's Big Nog, he survives. Fedor plays the guard game with Nog for most of the fight, landing some nasty punches that wow everyone watching. His sub defense is excellent, getting out of everything that Nog tried with ease. Nogueira is crushed after the fight ends, with him slapping the mat and his corner lifting him up. Words can't do it justice, pure emotion. Fedor's the first (And only) guy to convincingly beat Nogueira. Quadros starts with the "THIS IS THE GREATEST FIGHT EVAR!!!" stuff, and I totally disagree. This wasn't even competitive. It was a great beating and Fedor's best showing, but it was far from the greatest fight ever. That Fedor, he's amazing. Awesome top game, nasty GnP and sick sub defense. He's going to go places, I tell you.
Quadros and Bas say their goodbyes and the show ends.
Um yeah, great show, one of Pride's best shows ever, with hardly any boring fights and a bunch of fun one's. Wait, there weren't any boring fights. Imagine that?