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Old 05-26-2011, 01:42 AM   #1 (permalink)
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what do you think about my essay?

For many years people around the world have been watching many full contact combat sports such as; Boxing, Freestyle Wrestling, Greco Roman Wrestling, Taekwondo, Judo, Karate, Sambo, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Japanese Jiu Jitsu, and Muay Thai live on TV or at a sports event and for century’s people always asked “which fight style would win if they went one versus one with no rules who would beat who?” There really never was a real answer until now. There’s this new upcoming and fast rising sport known as MMA but what does MMA Stand for? MMA stands for Mixed Martial Arts.
Mixed Martial Arts is a full contact combat sport that allows a wide variety of fighting techniques and skills, from a mixture of other combat sports from all around the world, to be used in competitions. The rules allow the use of both striking as well as grappling techniques, both while standing and while on the ground. Such competitions allow fighters of different backgrounds to compete in MMA. The most common and most effective fighting techniques from other combat sports used in MMA today by Mixed Martial Artist are Wrestling, Brazilian jiu jitsu, Boxing and Muay Thai which are used to either to choke out or knockout the opponent or gain point to beat the opponent. Boxing is one of the most common techniques used in MMA which is nothing special just ordinary boxing (fist fighting) which is used to knock out your opponent. Wrestling in MMA is usually used to get your opponent down to the ground to either submit them or ground and pound. Ground and pound is a technique used in MMA where u get the opponent down on the ground and literally try to pound them into the ground using punch or elbow to their death or at least till they knockout sounds brutal I know. Muay Thai is a combat sport from Thailand that uses stand-up striking punches knees elbows and devastating kicks along with various clinching techniques and Muay Thai is a technique used in MMA to put your opponent to sleep or control their movement by using Muay Thai’s devastating leg kicks to the opponent’s legs to cripple them and limit their movement. Brazilian jiu jitsu is a very complex combat sport that focuses on grappling and especially ground fighting that is used in MMA to submit your opponent on the ground and the reason Brazilian jiu jitsu is so effective in MMA is cause it can change a whole fight for example really good Brazilian jiu jitsu artist in MMA might be getting their butt beat but with the effectiveness of Brazilian jiu jitsu he can defeat his opponent in a matter of seconds. So as mixed martial artist you just can be a boxer or just a kick boxer or just a wrestler you need to have studied and practice at least one striking technique and one grappling technique to have a chance in MMA like no other combat sport.
The first signs of mixed martial arts was in the Greco-Roman Era where there was a ancient Olympic combat sports known as Pankration which featured a combination of striking and grappling skills just like MMA. The history of modern MMA competitions can be tracked to mixed fighting styles competitions in Europe and Japan in the early 1900’s with similar ways of winning. In 1993 MMA’s largest promotional company was born the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) holding their first competition in Denver Colorado show casing different fighters from all around the world with different Fighting Styles, And the UFC looking to answer that question that was never answered for century’s asked by many people “which fight style would win if they went one versus one with no rules who would beat who?” That day it was answered by a man by the name of Royce Gracie representing the martial art of Brazilian jiu jitsu ,yes Brazilian jiu jitsu which at the moment was not popular anywhere in the world and he won cause no one knew or understood what Brazilian jiu jitsu was and every one was just a master at Karate, Taekwondo ,Boxing, or Muay Thai and any other striking technique but no one knew what in the hell what Brazilian jiu jitsu was and no one knew what to do on the ground so they looked like turtles on their back squirming to get back up and survive or win the fight but hey give these guys a chance Royce you say? Royce Gracie was a small man from Brazil who weighed 170 lb.’s at the moment fighting 200+lb men and through the effectiveness of jiu jitsu won. Thanks to Royce Gracie for hosting the first UFC and winning cause if he would have never won his matches no one would ever think about the idea to fight him again and. His win in the tournament made many people would challenge Brazilian jiu jitsu leading it UFC 2, UFC 3 Etc. And making the UFC to be one of MMA’s currently biggest promotions, going from an attendance at UFC 1(1993) of 1000 people at the live event to a world record 50,000 people at UFC 129 (2011).Even though UFC was the biggest MMA promotion it wasn’t considered to have the best fighters until they bought Pride Fighting Championships Pride was the second biggest MMA promotion in the world considered to have the best fighters before The Zuffa Brothers who owns the UFC bought Pride.
A lot of people Question the safety of MMA and for that reason even today it is prohibited in some states but people who actually do know what’s going on and actually understand the sport know is very much safe and not only safe but safer than Football, Boxing and many other sports that are allowed on pretty much every state. In MMA there are very strict rules that are enforced and if broken and lead to serious consequences and fouls that prevent the fighters from risking each other’s lives such as; head butting, eye gouging ,hair pulling, biting ,attacks to the groin, no strikes to the back of the head or spinal area no knees to the head on a downed a opponent , and no stomps , no soccer kicks and much more rules that protect fighters from dying or getting to seriously injured speaking of deaths in all of MMA history there have only a case of two fighters dying inside the cage compared to hundred ins boxing and football. So in MMA the fighters are safe and there is no reason to worry about them especially when they have a bump the size of a tennis ball on their head they just have a doctor check it out and if or she says he or she is not allowed to fight him so fighters will never get pushed over the limit and MMA will always be a safe sport just very brutal so in the end there is no worries and MMA should be allowed everywhere.
Recently the talk about which is the best fighting style is the best has come to a silence and the every question people are asking now is “ who is the best fighter in the world ?” that’s how big the impact of MMA is in the combat sports world so I guess it doesn’t matter what fighting style you know anymore its how you utilize your skill form each and every fighting skill you gain over years of training MMA that makes you the Ultimate Fighter.So if you ever decide to pursue a MMA dream you can start whenever you want and don’t worry about having to go to the hospital or dying you can train and sleep safe and sound the day before your fight so you can be well rested and not worried about getting hurt. In Over almost Twenty years MMA has grown so much is already starting to take fans from every other sport and eventually it will be huge and hopefully a Olympic sport that would be great I think its even one for the history books.
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Old 05-26-2011, 06:04 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I read the first sentence and couldn't handle the bad grammar. At least put it through a spell check dude
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Old 05-26-2011, 06:30 AM   #3 (permalink)
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ok before i move this to the general mma discussion section i thought i would comment,

the structure of the essay needs to be refined a bit, i might have touched on different aspects of safety in your safety of mma paragraph, more so of the fact mma vs boxing...the hole when you are knocked out there is no ten count to regain conc and then get back up and fight which causes allot of brain damage hense the reason why allot of retired boxers talk like nick diaz after he smokes a few blunts and where as an mma we have people still fighting when they are reaching senior cit status alla randy couture.

to evaluate the essay any further i would need to know what grade are you writing the essay for? highschool or college for each grade level in high school will grade a essay differently as well as they will grade a essay quite differently in college
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Old 05-26-2011, 08:42 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by M_D View Post
ok before i move this to the general mma discussion section i thought i would comment,

the structure of the essay needs to be refined a bit, i might have touched on different aspects of safety in your safety of mma paragraph, more so of the fact mma vs boxing...the hole when you are knocked out there is no ten count to regain conc and then get back up and fight which causes allot of brain damage hense the reason why allot of retired boxers talk like nick diaz after he smokes a few blunts and where as an mma we have people still fighting when they are reaching senior cit status alla randy couture.

to evaluate the essay any further i would need to know what grade are you writing the essay for? highschool or college for each grade level in high school will grade a essay differently as well as they will grade a essay quite differently in college
im a sophmore with a GPA of 1.2 and english is my worst subject but if u were an english teacher what would u give me im to lazy to fix the mess ups cause it took me about 3 hours to write and i simply am to lazy to go back and fix things going towards the third paragraph
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Old 05-26-2011, 09:01 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by yogibear View Post
im a sophmore with a GPA of 1.2 and english is my worst subject but if u were an english teacher what would u give me im to lazy to fix the mess ups cause it took me about 3 hours to write and i simply am to lazy to go back and fix things going towards the third paragraph
Don't worry just drop out and you wont have to worry about grades ever again.
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Old 05-26-2011, 09:25 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Ok Papitz ^
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Old 05-26-2011, 09:51 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by yogibear View Post
im a sophmore with a GPA of 1.2 and english is my worst subject but if u were an english teacher what would u give me im to lazy to fix the mess ups cause it took me about 3 hours to write and i simply am to lazy to go back and fix things going towards the third paragraph


Not to be mean, but if you don't GAS, why should we?
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Old 05-26-2011, 10:19 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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The essay needs major restructuring.

The top paragraph needs a comma before such as. ie. Combat sports, such as ...... But really that that paragraph is inaccurate as MMA has completely moved away from style vs style for over a decade.

As for the rest its a giant run on paragraph. Focus on point per paragraph.

The evolution of the sport one paragraph. Safety one paragraph, rules on paragraph etc. You just jumbled it into one.

Before anyone remarks on my lack of proper grammar here I would like to say I graduated with a 98.5 in english. That was my class.
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Old 05-26-2011, 11:32 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yogibear View Post
im a sophmore with a GPA of 1.2 and english is my worst subject but if u were an english teacher what would u give me im to lazy to fix the mess ups cause it took me about 3 hours to write and i simply am to lazy to go back and fix things going towards the third paragraph

You are a sopohmore in High School (please, don't let it be college)? Your writing skills need a great deal of improvement. I have been a student teacher/TA in the past, and as it stands, I would likely give you a D or an F. The FIRST thing you should do is spell and grammar-check your essay. Simple things like this just show a degree of care that is a bare minimum for a passing paper.
Next, read it OUT LOUD, to someone who knows NOTHING of MMA. Do you need to add anything to make it clear? If you need to do so when spoken, you will need to do it here.
Don't write like you speak (I mean do not be so informal). Don't use "but hey" in an academic essay, "getting your butt beat" or similar.

PUNCUTATION IS YOUR FRIEND.

You clearly aren't aiming for perfection, but that is no reason to settle for failure.
If this took three hours to write, you will need to spend at least that amount of time to clean it up.

You have great raw material here. There is the basis for a solid essay. Rework it for an honest three hours. Then, if you'd like, PM it to me, and I'll be happy to give you further thoughts.
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