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Old 04-05-2012, 07:33 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Toxic View Post
Bullying is a part of social growth for the bully and stunts it for victims. Fault the parents for not raising there kids to be tough enough, how the hell are they supposed to raise a kid who is undersized to be bigger or stronger?
No, it doesn't stunt the victim in anyway shape or form if raised properly. Life is hard, it's rough, there are no happy endings and the world doesn't care about you, and bullying is a social aspect that helps kids understand that you must overcome, that you must stand up for yourself, that you must learn to grow some thick skin and handle tough situations.

Parents need to teach their kids to kick ass, stand up for themselves, be brave and don't run away. Parents need to raise their kids in a way that gives them a lot of self-worth and self-confidence, this is how parents used to raise their kids. When I was a kid, if someone bullied me, you know my what my parents would have done? They would have told me to punch that kid in the face, push him back, remove him from my path and stand up to him, if it's more than one, then I am to handle more than one.

They would not have ran to the school and cried like little sissies telling school officials to look out for me, because the moment I'm off school property, teachers and the school officials are not there to help me, aid me, protect me - I am to LEARN to do this own my own, to stand up for myself on my own, to protect myself on my own.

If my parents had ran to the school and fought all m battles when growing up, I'd have no confidence when a confrontation happened, I'd have no ability to handle tough situations by myself, hell, I would bet money that half of who I am today is from dealing with situations on my own and learning how to overcome them by myself - all of which were able to be learned by the simple act of my parents not intercepting my troubles, and making me stand up and handle them head on on my own, and telling me that I must, as the world is tough and I must face it like a man.

Kids are not raised like this anymore, they are raised in a pillow fluffed world where the ground is made of chocolate marshmallows, and when these kids step into a social ground of animals that are naturally aggressive, naturally bully/tease/pick on other kids, they feel so hurt and unprepared for it, that they do stuff like killing themselves, because their parents and their parents alone did not prepare them and raise them in a way to handle anything on their own.

Bullies are nothing more than kids that do what kids do, they have done this for thousands of years, it's in our DNA to be aggressive and test our boundaries as kids, it's how we learn, adapt, adjust, and parents need to raise their kids to be ready for this type of situation.
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Old 04-05-2012, 07:53 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Don't they have bigger problems to worry about like murder, ****, drugs, and illegal immigration?
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Old 04-05-2012, 08:22 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Toxic View Post
Bullying is a part of social growth for the bully and stunts it for victims. Fault the parents for not raising there kids to be tough enough, how the hell are they supposed to raise a kid who is undersized to be bigger or stronger?
God you guys were lucky, one bully god I would kill to have grown up and just worry about one guy. For me it was always 2-6 guys.
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Old 04-05-2012, 08:34 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by M.C View Post
No, it doesn't stunt the victim in anyway shape or form if raised properly. Life is hard, it's rough, there are no happy endings and the world doesn't care about you, and bullying is a social aspect that helps kids understand that you must overcome, that you must stand up for yourself, that you must learn to grow some thick skin and handle tough situations.

Parents need to teach their kids to kick ass, stand up for themselves, be brave and don't run away. Parents need to raise their kids in a way that gives them a lot of self-worth and self-confidence, this is how parents used to raise their kids. When I was a kid, if someone bullied me, you know my what my parents would have done? They would have told me to punch that kid in the face, push him back, remove him from my path and stand up to him, if it's more than one, then I am to handle more than one.

They would not have ran to the school and cried like little sissies telling school officials to look out for me, because the moment I'm off school property, teachers and the school officials are not there to help me, aid me, protect me - I am to LEARN to do this own my own, to stand up for myself on my own, to protect myself on my own.

If my parents had ran to the school and fought all m battles when growing up, I'd have no confidence when a confrontation happened, I'd have no ability to handle tough situations by myself, hell, I would bet money that half of who I am today is from dealing with situations on my own and learning how to overcome them by myself - all of which were able to be learned by the simple act of my parents not intercepting my troubles, and making me stand up and handle them head on on my own, and telling me that I must, as the world is tough and I must face it like a man.

Kids are not raised like this anymore, they are raised in a pillow fluffed world where the ground is made of chocolate marshmallows, and when these kids step into a social ground of animals that are naturally aggressive, naturally bully/tease/pick on other kids, they feel so hurt and unprepared for it, that they do stuff like killing themselves, because their parents and their parents alone did not prepare them and raise them in a way to handle anything on their own.

Bullies are nothing more than kids that do what kids do, they have done this for thousands of years, it's in our DNA to be aggressive and test our boundaries as kids, it's how we learn, adapt, adjust, and parents need to raise their kids to be ready for this type of situation.
QFFT

Great post.
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Old 04-05-2012, 09:17 PM   #25 (permalink)

 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by M.C View Post
No, it doesn't stunt the victim in anyway shape or form if raised properly. Life is hard, it's rough, there are no happy endings and the world doesn't care about you, and bullying is a social aspect that helps kids understand that you must overcome, that you must stand up for yourself, that you must learn to grow some thick skin and handle tough situations.

Parents need to teach their kids to kick ass, stand up for themselves, be brave and don't run away. Parents need to raise their kids in a way that gives them a lot of self-worth and self-confidence, this is how parents used to raise their kids. When I was a kid, if someone bullied me, you know my what my parents would have done? They would have told me to punch that kid in the face, push him back, remove him from my path and stand up to him, if it's more than one, then I am to handle more than one.

They would not have ran to the school and cried like little sissies telling school officials to look out for me, because the moment I'm off school property, teachers and the school officials are not there to help me, aid me, protect me - I am to LEARN to do this own my own, to stand up for myself on my own, to protect myself on my own.

If my parents had ran to the school and fought all m battles when growing up, I'd have no confidence when a confrontation happened, I'd have no ability to handle tough situations by myself, hell, I would bet money that half of who I am today is from dealing with situations on my own and learning how to overcome them by myself - all of which were able to be learned by the simple act of my parents not intercepting my troubles, and making me stand up and handle them head on on my own, and telling me that I must, as the world is tough and I must face it like a man.

Kids are not raised like this anymore, they are raised in a pillow fluffed world where the ground is made of chocolate marshmallows, and when these kids step into a social ground of animals that are naturally aggressive, naturally bully/tease/pick on other kids, they feel so hurt and unprepared for it, that they do stuff like killing themselves, because their parents and their parents alone did not prepare them and raise them in a way to handle anything on their own.

Bullies are nothing more than kids that do what kids do, they have done this for thousands of years, it's in our DNA to be aggressive and test our boundaries as kids, it's how we learn, adapt, adjust, and parents need to raise their kids to be ready for this type of situation.
You speak like somebody who has no freaking idea. You know what standing up for yourself gets you? It gets the living crap beat out of you. If you win do you know what it gets you? 6 kids following you home and kicking the ever living crap out of you. Been there done that and for you to try to simplify things into kids need to stand up for themselves is absurdly offensive. You general attitude here is exactly the problem with society and why this behavior continues, its simpler to blame the victim. Honestly I am having great difficulty controlling my anger while reading the complete and utter BS your spewing.
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Old 04-05-2012, 09:29 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Toxic View Post
You speak like somebody who has no freaking idea. You know what standing up for yourself gets you? It gets the living crap beat out of you. If you win do you know what it gets you? 6 kids following you home and kicking the ever living crap out of you. Been there done that and for you to try to simplify things into kids need to stand up for themselves is absurdly offensive. You general attitude here is exactly the problem with society and why this behavior continues, its simpler to blame the victim. Honestly I am having great difficulty controlling my anger while reading the complete and utter BS your spewing.
I have a complete "freaking idea", I was never bullied because I never let anyone bully me. Every - single - person in school is susceptible to bullying, everyone, and millions or even billions of kids have been bullied throughout human social grouping history, and up until this point (new-aged, can't do anything wrong, everyone gets a trophy era) it has worked perfectly well in helping kids adjust and and learn to overcome and stand up to their problems.

If you get your ass kicked in school, then kick their ass back, if you get your ass kicked again, then you just got your ass kicked, deal with it, stand up to it, say "that just happened" and move on with your life. I was in fights when I was in school, I got told by my dad that I did a good job not letting anyone try to push me around and that he's proud of me, I took this as doing the right thing and I felt great about myself, and it gave me what I needed to shrug things off, get thick skin and move on. Get in a fight today and you're grounded for 3 weeks and you get your computer taken away from you.

You say I'm talking BS, yet I have thousands of years of proof showing that this has worked perfectly fine and there's been no issues up until these last 2 generations of awful parents, who think words can end your life and that if you get last place you get a trophy, and that if you have an issue, mommy and daddy will go and fix it for you and that way you don't have to learn how to properly take care of yourself and overcome difficult situations.
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Old 04-05-2012, 09:52 PM   #27 (permalink)

 
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I have a complete "freaking idea", I was never bullied because I never let anyone bully me. Every - single - person in school is susceptible to bullying, everyone, and millions or even billions of kids have been bullied throughout human social grouping history, and up until this point (new-aged, can't do anything wrong, everyone gets a trophy era) it has worked perfectly well in helping kids adjust and and learn to overcome and stand up to their problems.

If you get your ass kicked in school, then kick their ass back, if you get your ass kicked again, then you just got your ass kicked, deal with it, stand up to it, say "that just happened" and move on with your life. I was in fights when I was in school, I got told by my dad that I did a good job not letting anyone try to push me around and that he's proud of me, I took this as doing the right thing and I felt great about myself, and it gave me what I needed to shrug things off, get thick skin and move on. Get in a fight today and you're grounded for 3 weeks and you get your computer taken away from you.

You say I'm talking BS, yet I have thousands of years of proof showing that this has worked perfectly fine and there's been no issues up until these last 2 generations of awful parents, who think words can end your life and that if you get last place you get a trophy, and that if you have an issue, mommy and daddy will go and fix it for you and that way you don't have to learn how to properly take care of yourself and overcome difficult situations.
You have no thousands of years are you insane? Seriously kids two or three generations didn't have time to do the bully thing, for one those kids got there asses whipped till they learnt respect at home and at school and those kids worked there asses off. Kids have more free time and less strict structure and that is why its a growing problem not because of public perception of it. Just suck it up and get over it, geez thats great advice, your sound like my retarted principal in school, I went to a K-12 school and when I was in grade 5 (like 10) I had a kid who was 6 years older who tormented me for 3 years. I would try and go to the office but when they confronted him he always laughed it off and said he just made some comments and I was blowing it out of proportion. Truth is he physically assaulted me sometimes multiple times a day, threw me into walls etc for years. Absurd attitudes like yours allowed that shit to happen. I suggest you ask your day what would have happened to him if another parent said he was beating there kid up and school when he was young, likely his parents would have paddled his behind till it bled. That was why bullying wasn't a problem because it wasn't happening to the extent modern conveniences allow it to happen.

You say you got into some fights and moved on THAT IS THE PROBLEM I don't think you even understand what we are talking about. You can't move on when you get your ass kicked and the next day its the same thing OVER AND OVER AND OVER for years. You think this bullying talk is about one kid teasing another one time, this shit goes on day and night for years to some kids. If you don't know what its like to have to go to school every day of the year knowing your gonna be humiliated and beat up then maybe you shouldn't act like you have the answers.
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Old 04-05-2012, 10:02 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Toxic View Post
You have no thousands of years are you insane? Seriously kids two or three generations didn't have time to do the bully thing, for one those kids got there asses whipped till they learnt respect at home and at school and those kids worked there asses off. Kids have more free time and less strict structure and that is why its a growing problem not because of public perception of it. Just suck it up and get over it, geez thats great advice, your sound like my retarted principal in school, I went to a K-12 school and when I was in grade 5 (like 10) I had a kid who was 6 years older who tormented me for 3 years. I would try and go to the office but when they confronted him he always laughed it off and said he just made some comments and I was blowing it out of proportion. Truth is he physically assaulted me sometimes multiple times a day, threw me into walls etc for years. Absurd attitudes like yours allowed that shit to happen. I suggest you ask your day what would have happened to him if another parent said he was beating there kid up and school when he was young, likely his parents would have paddled his behind till it bled. That was why bullying wasn't a problem because it wasn't happening to the extent modern conveniences allow it to happen.

You say you got into some fights and moved on THAT IS THE PROBLEM I don't think you even understand what we are talking about. You can't move on when you get your ass kicked and the next day its the same thing OVER AND OVER AND OVER for years. You think this bullying talk is about one kid teasing another one time, this shit goes on day and night for years to some kids. If you don't know what its like to have to go to school every day of the year knowing your gonna be humiliated and beat up then maybe you shouldn't act like you have the answers.
Actually, I know personally people in school who were bullied the exact same way you were - guess what? They are perfectly healthy adults with perfectly healthy lives, and the bullying never once - on any level - preventing them from living their life. By exactly like you were, I mean daily or often, physical confrontations.

I was never bullied because when someone tried, it was done, nobody was stupid enough to bully me, and that's what happens when you are raised that way. How do you think I got into fights, someone stole my cookie? I got pushed into a locker, and I tackled him and threw fists, guess what? I was never thrown into the locker again.

You got attacked by someone 6 years older than you, you were 10, that makes him 16 yes? That is - assault -, that's not bullying it's assault, it sounds like the 16 year old has some severe mental problems picking on a 10 year old. That has nothing to do with bullying, that's a near adult beating up a kid - complete, 100% different situation than bullying, where kids are in the same age range.

As for bullying back then, bullying has been around since the very first time a group of kids got together to play. Free time? Compared to....when? A few generations ago, when Kids had the same exact free time they have now? Your example is that parents, PARENTS (my whole argument) used to whip respect into their kids, whip mental toughness and stability into their kids, never had this issue, that's pretty much the whole point. Parents of the recent and distance past have done things to ensure their kids are mentally and physically capable, something these last 2 generations have lacked - completely.
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Old 04-05-2012, 10:15 PM   #29 (permalink)

 
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Originally Posted by M.C View Post
Actually, I know personally people in school who were bullied the exact same way you were - guess what? They are perfectly healthy adults with perfectly healthy lives, and the bullying never once - on any level - preventing them from living their life. By exactly like you were, I mean daily or often, physical confrontations.

I was never bullied because when someone tried, it was done, nobody was stupid enough to bully me, and that's what happens when you are raised that way. How do you think I got into fights, someone stole my cookie? I got pushed into a locker, and I tackled him and threw fists, guess what? I was never thrown into the locker again.

You got attacked by someone 6 years older than you, you were 10, that makes him 16 yes? That is - assault -, that's not bullying it's assault, it sounds like the 16 year old has some severe mental problems picking on a 10 year old. That has nothing to do with bullying, that's a near adult beating up a kid - complete, 100% different situation than bullying, where kids are in the same age range.

As for bullying back then, bullying has been around since the very first time a group of kids got together to play. Free time? Compared to....when? A few generations ago, when Kids had the same exact free time they have now? Your example is that parents, PARENTS (my whole argument) used to whip respect into their kids, whip mental toughness and stability into their kids, never had this issue, that's pretty much the whole point. Parents of the recent and distance past have done things to ensure their kids are mentally and physically capable, something these last 2 generations have lacked - completely.
Your saying its the parenting of the victim thats changed which isn't true kids still try to fight back but bullies for obvious reasons don't pick on kids that can beat them up. You get thrown in a locker and come out swinging and get beat up they don't not throw you in a locker again they do it every day because its funny to the group to watch you get beat up. Its the parenting of the bully that has changed and accommodates the change. Kids bully each other much worse because punishments for doing so are far less severe. That is the truth of the matter not because kids are "pussified".

You know your friends who were bullied, I guarantee that to this day it effects them far more in there day to day lifes than you will ever know or they will ever admit. They are likely more uncomfortable meeting new people, less trusting and are likely either overly confrontational and defensive or are basically afraid of confrontation to a degree. They will never admit it and you may not even realize it but I promise you that it still effects them more than you will ever truly understand.
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Old 04-05-2012, 10:26 PM   #30 (permalink)
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M.C.’s posts may be a little over simplified and a little unnecessarily brutal, but not much. And absolutely correct. It is a hard world. Even here where we have it soft.

He never said it was a good thing. Only that it is. And everyone of us have/had to deal with it. Without our parents to help.

I lived with the situation Toxic described for 13 years. Everyday. My 6 year older ½ brother was a ******* freak. My parents seemed oblivious. “boys will be boys” except that boy was an absolute freak on his way to life in prison and I was his practice. Bullying me was his only joy in life. Imagine if your parents went out of town and left your bully in charge of you.

I learned very young that humiliation hurts more than a beating. I got a lot of beatings.

I fixed my problem with the help of my younger brother and a baseball bat. We put him in the hospital and he never came back home.

No one at school ever bullied me because I was never afraid of what they could do to me. Not that i was a badass but when bullies know that you will fight every single time they want to be your buddy.

i guess it did screw me up a little. i’ve been in more fights as an adult than anyone I know. to this day if you purposely try to embarrass me you are in danger.
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