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-   -   LL has himself some lady problems!!!! (http://www.mmaforum.com/lounge/102063-ll-has-himself-some-lady-problems.html)

LL 05-17-2012 09:35 PM

LL has himself some lady problems!!!!
 
I don't normally post in this part of the forum but I figure many different people from many different walks of life are on here so maybe I could get some helpful advice.

I'm chilling in my room and all of a sudden I get a text, turns out my ex from high school contacted my mom through Facebook asking for my number. Good thing right?

Well she has a boyfriend and goes to college with him.

Anyway, she starts off asking "Is this Will?" and I say yeah so she starts going on about how she misses me and wants to hang out with me this summer and I'm pretty conflicted, she has a boyfriend but she wants to hang out with me this summer? We dated in high school and things were on and off for most of the relationship but I felt a lot of love for her but I'm not quite sure if she ever felt the same way she said did but anyone can say anything. She told me she loved me and we talked for a year even after we broke things off for good and we were still telling each other we loved one another, she went to college and I figured it'd be best to just move on but I don't think she has.

So MMA Forum, I need your help what should I do? Should I talk to this chick and see what's up? What if she wants to hook up? Being one of her ex's that'd really start raising a lot of flags in my head "Did she cheat on me" etc, etc. So I need some advice here, what should I do? Should I say **** it and see what happens or should I ignore her and just keep moving on with my life.

xeberus 05-17-2012 10:10 PM

I honestly don't know enough about you or the situation to really give you good advice.

I'd wager if you do reconnect with her you two will either sleep together, get back together or you will become her friend with emotional benefits. You said yourself that "you felt love for her" its going to be just that easy for it to happen again. While I think that is the likely result of "hanging out", if you want that and are fine with that then you should do it.

But keep in mind if that happens she will still return to college. The way you spoke about it, I'd imagine there is some distance between you and her and shes simply coming home for the summer? Just some things to think about.

Best of luck

Toxic 05-17-2012 10:41 PM

I never got why people do this to themselves there is a reason your exes are your exes, I don't care the reason, there is no point moving backwards in life. I don't care if it was even because she was going to school half way across the country that you broke up in the first place if it was that great you would have found a way to let make it work. Leave the past in the past and move forward even just hooking up with exes brings to much drama and bullshit with it.

CupCake 05-18-2012 04:02 AM

If she says she loves you, why did it end? If she has a boyfriend, how can she just go behind his back like that? What does that say about her emotional/mental approach to relationships?

Sounds like affection, not necessarily love, but if you feel drawn to her, by all means see her again, but I'd say tread with caution. You could be an available 'convenient' option to her if she's bored with her current boyfriend.

I'm not trying to make her sound bad, or put you off, but like other here I don't know enough on the situation to advise you how to proceed.

But it's just a few things for you to bear in mind...it could all turn out fine and you guys were meant for each other and this is the best thing to ever happen to you.

Just don't put yourself out there until you know you're safe to emotionally invest yourself in this woman. And that she is in a position to give you the same affection in return.

Hope it goes well :) x

HitOrGetHit 05-18-2012 08:37 AM

I have learned my lesson about going back to ex girlfriends. It always seems different but then I always end up seeing exactly why I broke it off. Very rarely have I seen couples reconnect where it didn't turn out to be exactly the same way.

Not saying this will happen to you, just my experience. I mean I guess depending how long you have been done with high school that a lot could ave changed, but I am with Toxic. Ex girlfriends are ex girlfriends for a reason.

Hawndo 05-18-2012 06:57 PM

Good call coming here, the guys and gals on this forum give out amazingly sound advice for personal problems, like a big family that's got each others backs.

It's a tricky one indeed. If you think you are both strong and mature enough to meet up and stop things getting complicated (too emotionally attached, boning etc) then like Liza says tread caution. It's pretty rare to find people who professed love for one another to not get caught in the same cycles over and over though.

Personal and similar story, I split with my girl two months ago. We were on and off for a year and a half and would split then say "we will always be best friends though" but I think everyone knows where that went. I'd say, from this personal experience, adopt the attitude "exes are exes for a reason" (I learned the hard way) for when I went through the latest, most heart wrenching (and final) split with my burd my sister's words of advice were "you'll never have space for the right one if you are still tied to the wrong one" which I thought was pretty sound advice (albeit kinda girly). I still love my ex but as hard as it is just can't rationalise having her in my life anymore, all ties were very recently cut.

Hope everything works out well my man.

LL 05-18-2012 10:14 PM

I do appreciate all the advice, one of the things is she just doesn't go to college that from home, we're still located in the western part of the state so it's not like she's gone all the way across the country or even went to another part of the state. I've been graduated for 2 years and her for one so it's not like it's been years and years since we've been out of high school and we broke up for good after I graduated but we still flirted and talked for the next year.

I'm sure I don't want a relationship because I have moved on emotionally but physically I'm still tempted to pursue that aspect because I still do find her attractive but I'd hate to be "that guy" if you know what I mean.


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