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post #51 of 86 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 12:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Killz View Post
Women are weird.
I'm a smart guy, masters degree and all that jazz plus all my friends say I am an excellent judge of character, dudes I can read like a book but I can't figure out women at all for the life of me. Also just noticed your first comment, reckons that's me back so you don't have to miss me much longer

Thanks for the advice, been a bit put off by how she acted though and I gave up on chasing girls a while ago(last time I made a thread about the time waster if anyone remembers). I would ask her out to meet up but my work rota has ****ed it up, I was home for a bit then back to my wee island of work, but I was back to go off to Sweden to train, now I'm back she is away to Ireland for a holiday for a bit. Can't wait til this project is over and I'm home full-time. Maybe see if she wants to meet up next time I'm home.

Pretty confused but all the signals I pick up now say not interested even though my first thought was the same as Lizas about the exes, maybe talk to my buddy and see if he got the inside scoop from his lass?

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post #52 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-06-2013, 05:01 PM
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My husband and I recently decided to make our marriage "semi-open" about a month ago. The conditions being:

- We're not allowed to enter a romantic relationship with anyone we engage in sexual relations with.
- It can't be a person from off the street.
- They're not allowed to be around the kids nor are they welcome in the house while the kids are around. Nor are we allowed to be in the company of them when in the company of each other.
- If sexual relations do occur at our house, it has to be in the guest bedroom.
- We decided when we got married that no matter what the circumstances were, if we didn't love each other anymore and wanted to get a divorce, then we would stay together until the twins graduated high school.

I'm happy with my husband and he's a great Dad and fun in the sack and everything but he's really vanilla. He goes to work, comes home, helps out with the kids and then either watches sports or the Outdoor channel. On the weekends he goes to the same dive bar with two of his buddies and plays pool and darts. Rinse and repeat. There's nothing wrong with it, it just gets old. He spends plenty of time with me and I'm still very much in love with him but he's just...Boring.

I'm a lot more spontaneous and like to go out and have fun when I'm not being a mom. I have a pretty mundane job (accountant) and I love my kiddos more than anything but I'm still young, you know?

We've been open and honest about everything with each other. He flirts with one of his female friends a lot and I can tell they're both attracted to each other in a physical way but I know he would never leave me for her or anything. Conversely even though I identify as bisexual I haven't seen another girl (outside of a few celebrities/models) that I've fantasized about in a while. I dated women almost exclusively from 14-21 but would sleep with a guy every now and then. Eventually guys started being more fun than girls and hey oh, now I'm married to a guy. Except recently. There's this hot young 22 year old that just graduated that works for accounts payable at the University, who my firm does a lot of business with. 6'0 ft tall, strong tan legs, DD's, deliciously thick lips, everything. I found out she was into girls about two weeks ago and we went out for coffee. Next thing you know, we're making out in her apartment and it eventually led to...Other things . Long story short it was some awesome sex and it's been forever since I've been with a girl.

I told my husband about it and he seemed to receive it pretty well and even gave me a "fist bump" for it. The hubby and I then proceeded to make our way to the bedroom. This was in the same day. Our sex life has actually gotten BETTER ironically and we seem to be getting along even better than before.

Fast forward two weeks later,
I'm now pretty much having a full blown affair with this girl. I even call her my "girlfriend" and my husband doesn't object. We'll go out and do things that normally my husband wouldn't be interested in. We have awesome sexual chemistry too and she understands that our relationship isn't going to go anywhere. She's a cool girl, but really she's just a hot young thing that I can spoil, have sex with, and occasionally hang out with. I have no serious feelings for her. I go on my half vacation in two weeks, and my "girlfriend" and I are going on a cruise.

All of a sudden I feel REALLY guilty that I'm taking a week off from work, a week off from my family, to go on a cruise with some hot young thing and pretty much have sex on tropical islands with her. Not to mention, only three days ago did my husband start sleeping with someone else. A girl at the gym we go to, who is also married and is a bit older (my husband has always been attracted to older women). I kind of want to call this thing off after the cruise but now that my husband is actually engaging in his part of the agreement, I think that would seem unfair.

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post #53 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-06-2013, 06:30 PM
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You're completely breaking your rules....sorry. Also the husband doesn't care because it's a girl, try the same thing with a guy, won't be as well received unless he feels literally nothing for you.

Also seriously rather selfish imo. You were fine with ******* some other person and now that he is you want the while thing to be done? Did you not ever expect it to happen that way? It's sounds to me like you just wanted to get a quick **** with some girl you thought was hot, now it's out of your system and you don't like how it ended up. That's why the majority of open relationships fall apart. One or both people feel jealousy. But they were fine with it at first so now they can't have an argument and forgive and there is no resolution.

I'm going to avoid my tangent on the whole my husband is great but boring thing. Had that talk explode in my face one too many time with friends.

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Last edited by Life B Ez; 09-06-2013 at 06:35 PM.
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post #54 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-06-2013, 06:35 PM
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Oh dude I won't freak out on you I promise haha.

I think you misread my post. I don't mind him sleeping with the woman from the gym (it was part of the agreement) I'm the one who feels guilty for doing what I'm doing.
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post #55 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-06-2013, 06:37 PM
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Hmmm, I think I'll need some pics first in order to offer you any useful advice

Everybody good, plenty of slaves for my robot colony?
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post #56 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-06-2013, 06:40 PM
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Originally Posted by HexRei View Post
Hmmm, I think I'll need some pics first in order to offer you any useful advice
You would
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post #57 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-06-2013, 06:43 PM
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Women who complain they have boring husbands/boyfriends generally are boring as all hell to guys as well. They think they aren't because they want to go out and have a good time or go ice skating or whatever and the majority of straight males aren't interested in the things their girlfriends push them to do.

I don't know what extents you gone to in an attempt to make him not boring but if it was going to a new bar in town it's probably not something he's into. Maybe try something he'll be interested in and take one for the team just to get him out of the routine. Break the habits completely not just sometimes, whenever possible avoid the routine. That means literally anything different, you say your spontaneous they be spontaneous ans involve him. Just don't let him start the routine before you do. If he sits down and starts watching tv you should have caught him before he was in the same room as the tv.

I know that sounds pretty male driven but guys get to a point in a relationship where they are just as bored but then choose to just accept it most of the time as they feel it's easier then changing there girlfriend or wife.

Obviously this is not considering all of your situation.

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post #58 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-06-2013, 06:54 PM
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You make some good points, particularly the one relating to our relative interests. I could also get more involved too and go with him to his little bar sometimes. I'm always down for darts and pool and prefer more laid back places.
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post #59 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-06-2013, 07:25 PM
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Life is complicated and so are relationships. I honestly don't care (not that my caring matters in someone elses relationship, just saying) what two people do, so long as they are happy and not harming/imposing on someone else. You two can go orgy every single night with random groups of people and I wouldn't think of it the slightest.

If this is a happy arrangement on both parties, that's good - but be warned... I've seen this kind of thing break marriages/relationships quite a few times, it starts off good and ends up very bad. I have never seen it work until the end, not one time. That doesn't mean that it can't or won't for you two, but definitely be cautious.
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post #60 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-06-2013, 07:32 PM
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Ive never understood open marriages or relationships. They do away with the only truly distinctive thing about being married or in a relationship (the manogomy) and throw it out the window. What is the point of being married at that point? There is little difference between being married and living with a good friend that you sometimes bone at that point.
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