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Old 10-24-2013, 04:02 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Spite View Post
So out of curiousity how many of you here think that being a porn star is an ok career choice for your your daughter - actually have a daughter?
Exactly what I brought up on page 1. I think that is definitely a major factor in how someone views this question. Just like asking women this same question would also have a different result.
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Old 10-24-2013, 04:07 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Not as upsetting, but something I would not want him to be involved in. It's certainly nothing to be proud of.



Maybe I went a bit to far, but if possible I travel back in time and bring her up differently.



Hmmm ask any dad who has a grown up daughter if she's his little girl and they will 'yes'

You know, I'll try to bring my daughter up with decency, standards, consideration and intelligence. If my daughter ended up a porn star I'd have failed as a parent. How many porn stars show any of the above qualities? How many porn stars think of their families when they decide that any old guy can **** them up their arse and cum on their faces, because Mommy n Daddy would be soooooo proud.

I enjoy the odd wank over a porn as much as the next guy, just as long as its someone else's daughter - thank you very much.

Four years ago I'd have probably agreed with most you. But as Old Fan said to me in a congratulation PM he sent me after my daughters birth - 'Everything changes'

Very true. So out of curiousity how many of you here think that being a porn star is an ok career choice for your your daughter - actually have a daughter?
It doesn't matter if you think she is still "your little girl", she is not (as an adult). Try as hard as you want, when she grows up she is no longer "your little girl", she's a grown woman who is off living her life on her own now.

Decency, standards, consideration and intelligence? So because of her career choice, she has none of these? You realize of course that there are many porn stars out there with a high education? Some even have PhDs. Consideration? For what? Standards? Whose standards? Decency? For what?

I'd say having a daughter clouds your judgement and vision of the reality of the situation, rather than help it. You are so into thinking that she is "your little girl" that you'd rather do xyz than let her make her own decision as an adult woman.

Porn has very little to do with how well someone grows up, and far more to do with sexual orientation, satisfaction, life style, life choice, and overall career interest. Your parenting skills means little in regards to what interests someone when they grow up. You could, and should, open as many doors to her as possible, but that doesn't mean she will take any of them (and most do not take the doors their parents open for them), and when she doesn't it is not because you failed as a parent, it's because she's a human being with interests widely different from your own, perfectly natural and normal.

Overall, I have no problem with whatever gender of child I have doing what they love/want. If they are happy, making money, able to feed/shelter themselves, and overall enjoying life, then I'm supportive and am happy for him/her. If he's gay, cool, if she grows up and with all the options available decides she wants to have a go at the porn industry, then who am I to tell her no? She's an adult and that's what she wants to do. I'm not going to watch her work but I'm not going to degrade her or disown her or think I failed as a parent, she was fed/sheltered, she'd educated, has multiple options, she is an adult and now her life is her own.
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Old 10-24-2013, 04:12 PM   #33 (permalink)
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No preference either way for me. As long as they're happy with their lives.
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I'm with Hex, don't have a preference either way, people are who they are and do what they want to do. The key is to not impose your own lifestyle on others and to be happy. If you are not harming/imposing yourself on others and making choices that you yourself approve of, then by all means.
My thoughts exactly. As long as they're happy, then I've succeeded as a parent. Far too often we lose sight of the truly important things in life like happiness, and self fulfilment.
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Old 10-24-2013, 04:53 PM   #34 (permalink)
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Decency, standards, consideration and intelligence? So because of her career choice, she has none of these? You realize of course that there are many porn stars out there with a high education? Some even have PhDs. Consideration? For what? Standards? Whose standards? Decency? For what?
Decency - behaviour that conforms to accepted standards of morality or respectability.
So you believe a porn stars job description can be described with the dictionary definition of decency?

Standards - A porn stars standards are defined by the morality of the porn industry - none.

Consideration - So how much consideration does a porn star give to her family who love her and don't want her to get into the business? When her parents/siblings/aunties/grandparents friends are jacking off over her and laughing behind their backs?

Intelligence - Most porn stars do not have a great education, true I have no proof but I have as much proof as you say about the industry being highly educated. So theres a handful of porn starts with degrees and one or two with PHd's when theres 1000000's of porn stars out there. Besides having a degree does not make you smart. I have a degree and do stupid shit that I regret all the time.
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Old 10-24-2013, 05:10 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Decency - behaviour that conforms to accepted standards of morality or respectability.
So you believe a porn stars job description can be described with the dictionary definition of decency?

Standards - A porn stars standards are defined by the morality of the porn industry - none.

Consideration - So how much consideration does a porn star give to her family who love her and don't want her to get into the business? When her parents/siblings/aunties/grandparents friends are jacking off over her and laughing behind their backs?

Intelligence - Most porn stars do not have a great education, true I have no proof but I have as much proof as you say about the industry being highly educated. So theres a handful of porn starts with degrees and one or two with PHd's when theres 1000000's of porn stars out there. Besides having a degree does not make you smart. I have a degree and do stupid shit that I regret all the time.
Whose standards? Are you saying that your standards are above other peoples' standards? The only standards your daughter has to live up to is her own. You have no power over what "standard" is or is not acceptable.

Decency? To what? To who? Her? If she's doing this then she doesn't have any problem with it, she chose this career path. Again, you do not control what is decent or what is not.

Consideration? She doesn't have to spend her life making choices for you or your wife or whatever, no, she does not. When she turns 18 she is no longer "yours", you have 0 legal or moral control over her for the rest of her life. She doesn't have to make life choices based on what you want, that is kinda ridiculous don't you think? She can do whatever she pleases.

As for intelligence, if degrees don't show intelligence then there's no way to show it (I agree here). All a person can do is understand that porn is not much different than acting, in fact it is acting. It has nothing to do with intelligence or not, that's like saying fighting in MMA means you have no intelligence, you are just out there throwing hands at people. A career choice has no barring whatsoever on who is or isn't intelligent.
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Old 10-24-2013, 05:35 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Whose standards? Are you saying that your standards are above other peoples' standards? The only standards your daughter has to live up to is her own. You have no power over what "standard" is or is not acceptable.

Decency? To what? To who? Her? If she's doing this then she doesn't have any problem with it, she chose this career path. Again, you do not control what is decent or what is not.

Consideration? She doesn't have to spend her life making choices for you or your wife or whatever, no, she does not. When she turns 18 she is no longer "yours", you have 0 legal or moral control over her for the rest of her life. She doesn't have to make life choices based on what you want, that is kinda ridiculous don't you think? She can do whatever she pleases.

As for intelligence, if degrees don't show intelligence then there's no way to show it (I agree here). All a person can do is understand that porn is not much different than acting, in fact it is acting. It has nothing to do with intelligence or not, that's like saying fighting in MMA means you have no intelligence, you are just out there throwing hands at people. A career choice has no barring whatsoever on who is or isn't intelligent.
So lets just bring our children up with no moral compass shall we? No standards to adhere to. Lets make our children think they are number one, and they can't act however they feel appropriate without consideration to others.

I actually knew a lot of people who were brought up like that at school. It's what I would refer to as bad parenting. You know the type, out drinking on street corners until whatever time they pleased at 13 years old. These were the kids that give other kids hard times.

Well, of those people I still see from school... losers, every last one of them. Druggies, Alcoholics, Thugs, Wife Beaters.

So to answer your question - Yes, my child will be brought up to the standards I set her. And after all that, if she goes into porn I will be one very, very disappointed dad.
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Old 10-24-2013, 05:45 PM   #37 (permalink)
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So lets just bring our children up with no moral compass shall we? No standards to adhere to. Lets make our children think they are number one, and they can't act however they feel appropriate without consideration to others.

I actually knew a lot of people who were brought up like that at school. It's what I would refer to as bad parenting. You know the type, out drinking on street corners until whatever time they pleased at 13 years old. These were the kids that give other kids hard times.

Well, of those people I still see from school... losers, every last one of them. Druggies, Alcoholics, Thugs, Wife Beaters.

So to answer your question - Yes, my child will be brought up to the standards I set her. And after all that, if she goes into porn I will be one very, very disappointed dad.
There is a big difference between teaching your kids that drugs are bad (mmkay?) and other day to day life lessons, and holding them up to a set standard that is based only on you own personal system. When she is an adult and all control is stripped from you forcefully, you will just have to accept what she does.

We will just have to agree to disagree, this subject, it is like politics, goes round 'n round.


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Old 10-24-2013, 08:25 PM   #38 (permalink)
 
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Do you honestly think those statistics stack up well against say, musicians? Pro Wrestlers? Actors? I can link you to statistics showing the top 20 suicide rates in the world and Porn isn't even close to touching it. Aggression/drugs? Ever seen behind the music? You are right on the STDs, people in that industry need to be careful.

Not all the public porn stars are messed up, no more than actors/musicians. There are Porn Stars that are in the news for bad things, almost (but not quite) as much as other celebrity careers.

There are always people "behind the scenes" in non-scientific studies that say whatever their opinion is or fill whatever agenda they wish to fill, it doesn't make their claim anymore accurate. Even so, I didn't mention the study as there are studies floating around for all sorts of things and most of them have to be taken with a grain of salt. I'm going by people I know who have been involved in that industry and the background history of many porn stars that show they never had any sort of bad childhood or abusive past, they just got into it as it felt like the right thing to do for them. The fact that there are studies showing that they are actually happy in general (again, grain of salt on everything regarding non-scientific studies) only helps what I am saying, even if minor.

If you are worried about "statistics", then never ever let your kid start singing or going to medical school, after all it has one of if not the highest suicide rates in the world.
Actually if you figure it out based on the numbers porn stars have a higher suicide rate than doctors (about 1 in 1000 vs about 1 in 1200 doctors). more doctors commit suicide but there are 300X as many active doctors as active porn stars and those numbers are being generous as to the number of porn stars. Figures are sketchy at best though and that is why studies are rarely done to include musicians, actors, porn etc. Its clear what constitutes a doctor but the rest are very interpretive (how many videos makes you a porn star, softcore vs hardcore etc, is the guy who plays weddings with his friends on weekends a musician etc). I think the fact that you can find active members in the porn community that talk well of it and the majority who have left and have cut all ties to the industry have a negative view of it speaks the most. Its an industry where saying its awful can be career suicide not just in how it reflects on studios and those working relationships but also in the way it almost alienates fans of a particular star, people want to think they are enjoying it when they watch a "film". The fact so many who left the industry turn to religion is also a red flag to me as rarely due happy people turn to religion, there are plenty of very happy religious people but more often than not those who turn to it or seek it out do so out of fear of death, guilt or desperation.
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Old 10-24-2013, 08:40 PM   #39 (permalink)
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It doesn't matter if you think she is still "your little girl", she is not (as an adult). Try as hard as you want, when she grows up she is no longer "your little girl", she's a grown woman who is off living her life on her own now.

Decency, standards, consideration and intelligence? So because of her career choice, she has none of these? You realize of course that there are many porn stars out there with a high education? Some even have PhDs. Consideration? For what? Standards? Whose standards? Decency? For what?
I'm not entering this arugment as I don't have kids so for me to pretend I know anything about this would be plain stupid, I can think whatever but if you don't have children you really don't have any idea imho.

However, just did some research and found exactly one porn star with a phd. And it's in human sexuality. The rest were a few master's degree mostly in social science and liberal arts programs which no offense to anyone in those fields but those don't throw up flags of brilliance. The rest were mainly B.A's in the same things, a couple accounting and one or two business. It didn't however say when theg obtained their degrees before or after their career and there were also very few people I recognised. So take that for what you will.

I'm not making an argument thaf porn stars are dumb just stating what I found. A degree really means very little in the long run.

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Old 10-24-2013, 08:57 PM   #40 (permalink)
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rather a daughter in porn because i don't want a son, gay or otherwise.
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