Funny Ebay Sale - MMA Forum - UFC Forums - UFC Results - MMA Videos
The Lounge General off topic chat.

Reply

Old 09-20-2007, 10:33 PM   #1 (permalink)
Bantamweight
 
Josh3239's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: People's Republic of Kalifornia
Posts: 799
Josh3239 is on a distinguished roadJosh3239 is on a distinguished roadJosh3239 is on a distinguished roadJosh3239 is on a distinguished road
Funny Ebay Sale

Saw this in another forum. Some guy is trying to sell his golf clubs and writes a very funny description. He also lives in Ventura in California, which is very close to where I live.

Enjoy

TaylorMade Rescue Hybrid Titleist Cleveland Callaway - (eBay item 120154868323 end time Aug-30-07 20:30:00 PDT)
Josh3239 is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 

Old 09-20-2007, 10:44 PM   #2 (permalink)
-I came|I saw|I failed-
 
plazzman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: The plazzVan
Posts: 9,734
Blog Entries: 3
plazzman Is Untouchableplazzman Is Untouchableplazzman Is Untouchableplazzman Is Untouchableplazzman Is Untouchableplazzman Is Untouchableplazzman Is Untouchableplazzman Is Untouchableplazzman Is Untouchableplazzman Is Untouchableplazzman Is Untouchable
It took me like 2 hours to find it but here it is for those who dont want to search!

Quote:
m selling this club because I finally left my fatass girlfriend who hated the fact that I loved to play golf. I bought this for her when hybrids first came out which was approximately 5 years ago or when she was 115 pounds lighter. She stopped playing golf soon after I introduced her to the game and decided she would rather eat cookies and tacos as a sport. When she decided to start playing again she realized that her hands were to swollen to grip the club properly from all the meat around her knuckles. In addition, she couldnt figure out why she could not make a shoulder turn anymore. Truth be told, her titts got so big and droopy that she had to use my Sun Mountain push cart to haul them when we played (the cart has since buckled from the overloaded weight capacity). Also, her gut and thighs got so big she could hide 4 full grown Chihuahuas under the fat folds. I put up with her shitt for about 2 years and during this time she got even heavier. Her fatass became so big that when she actually made a correct shoulder turn she farted. I'm not talking about a ladylike fart with a few giggles- were talking fog horn deep and the smell was so bad it would turn all your hair into ash. I think the hippo actually fermented napalm in her colon from all the ice cream, pizza and bad chinese food she inhaled on an hourly basis. Ultimately it got to the point where I just stopped playing with her because I began to feel like I was doing a "Make a Wish" deed for the obese, retarded lady. And every time I went out with my regular group on Sundays, she gave me that look like I was going to be in deep shitt when I got back. So eventually I said f*ck it and I wont play for a while. 2 months ago I was cleaning out the garage and my buddies came over after a round and we were shooting the shitt about the US Open when all of sudden the cyclops comes out from her cave and tells me that I should sell all my clubs since I dont play anymore. My friends all gave me that look (you know what I mean) and just left in complete disgust. I knew those f*ckers were laughing their asses off at me and I felt really bad. Whatever....... I just rolled with it but 3 weeks after that incident she decided she was going to sell some of my shitt at a garage sale with 10 of her fat friends from the neighborhood. You shoulda seen this. It was a spectacle. 10 fat, female pigs all wearing tennis visors and shorts that were straining to stay buttoned around their waists. They had more MM's, Oreos and Grape Soda then garage sale items. I went specifically to see what she took of mine thinking there may have been a few odd things that she grabbed when I suddenly I saw my beloved Mizuno MP33 blades being hauled off by a senior citizen. I stopped the geezer and told him it was a mistake but the f*cker told me to kiss his asss and that he had a receipt. I almost strangled the gimp but I had 5 fat hogs standing in front of me telling that a "sale was sale" and they barricaded me in with their 34 inch necks. Get this: THEY SOLD MY CLUBS FOR $89 AND THEY THOUGHT THEY GOT A GOOD DEAL. That was pretty much the last straw so that evening while the beast was asleep, I grabbed what I could and left her cave. This club was one of the items I snagged along with some of her golf shoes, shirts and her golf bag. If you are a man with size 18 feet and bunions her shoes might fit you. I'll put the rest of her items up for sale in the Deformed Product Section. Please note this club has a small chip in the paint and has some sole wear. The lard asss must have forgotten to put the headcover on during one of her on course gas tantrums. Has a steel shaft in stiff flex with a brand new Golf Pride Tour Velvet grip. Club has 16 degrees of loft. Thanks for looking and if you win this club, keep it as a reminder whenever you decide that you are ready for a serious relationship. Take a good look at this club and remember its history- its priceless and you'll thank me later.
probably the funniest thing ever

PS:Great find Josh
plazzman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2007, 03:52 PM   #3 (permalink)
Dr. Pepper Fan
 
Green Scape's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,698
Green Scape is a name known to allGreen Scape is a name known to allGreen Scape is a name known to allGreen Scape is a name known to allGreen Scape is a name known to allGreen Scape is a name known to allGreen Scape is a name known to allGreen Scape is a name known to allGreen Scape is a name known to allGreen Scape is a name known to allGreen Scape is a name known to all
Hahahaha, that was ...

AWESOME!

Great detailed story.. may be a little bias, but funny as hell
Green Scape is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2007, 04:05 PM   #4 (permalink)
Yo
 
UFCFAN33's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 4,703
UFCFAN33 Is Beloved By AllUFCFAN33 Is Beloved By AllUFCFAN33 Is Beloved By AllUFCFAN33 Is Beloved By AllUFCFAN33 Is Beloved By AllUFCFAN33 Is Beloved By AllUFCFAN33 Is Beloved By AllUFCFAN33 Is Beloved By AllUFCFAN33 Is Beloved By AllUFCFAN33 Is Beloved By AllUFCFAN33 Is Beloved By All
That was outstanding! Good find! Repped
UFCFAN33 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2007, 04:10 PM   #5 (permalink)
M_D
Homicidal Maniac
 
M_D's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 6,173
Blog Entries: 1
M_D Is UntouchableM_D Is UntouchableM_D Is UntouchableM_D Is UntouchableM_D Is UntouchableM_D Is UntouchableM_D Is UntouchableM_D Is UntouchableM_D Is UntouchableM_D Is UntouchableM_D Is Untouchable
ok i def laughed
__________________


Over! 2,000,000 Views!

P4P Best Fighter
Angely Lane
M_D is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2007, 04:14 PM   #6 (permalink)
FITPLUS Muay Thai
 
murrayjb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,044
murrayjb is a splendid one to beholdmurrayjb is a splendid one to beholdmurrayjb is a splendid one to beholdmurrayjb is a splendid one to beholdmurrayjb is a splendid one to beholdmurrayjb is a splendid one to beholdmurrayjb is a splendid one to beholdmurrayjb is a splendid one to beholdmurrayjb is a splendid one to beholdmurrayjb is a splendid one to beholdmurrayjb is a splendid one to behold
LOL. Holy shit, this dude has some good material. Whether or not he was just kidding or making up a story for a laugh, i dunno. But god damn, fake or not, that was HILARIOUS.

repped.
murrayjb is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are On

VerticalSports
Baseball Forum Golf Forum Boxing Forum Snowmobile Forum
Basketball Forum Soccer Forum MMA Forum PWC Forum
Football Forum Cricket Forum Wrestling Forum ATV Forum
Hockey Forum Volleyball Forum Paintball Forum Snowboarding Forum
Tennis Forum Rugby Forums Lacrosse Forum Skiing Forums
Copyright (C) Verticalscope Inc SEO by vBSEO 3.3.2
Powered by vBulletin Copyright 2000-2009 Jelsoft Enterprises Limited.
vBCredits v1.4 Copyright ©2007, PixelFX Studios