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Old 04-07-2009, 05:40 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by M_D View Post
my grandfather use to say something similar to this

it got me to laugh hard when i read it
funny thing is its not a joke... seriously! Polish funeral goes: start at funeral home, go to church, go to cemetary and then go to luncheon. Here the luncheon was always at The White Eagle. you walked into the dining room and on each table was a bottle of wine and a bottle of whisky, and a wait staff would come by and take other drink orders. And the meal was always ALWAYS family style. after the meal most would go to the bar and stay in there for several hours... ive had one where funeral started at 10am, luncheon was at noon, and i got home at 9pm.

we pollocks party, even if its a sad time, we party and try to make the best of it.
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Old 04-07-2009, 06:09 PM   #12 (permalink)
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jesus christ my nuts where hurting just reading that

and as for the beer lady, bring a damn hip flask next time
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Old 04-07-2009, 06:22 PM   #13 (permalink)

 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.P. View Post
Link......http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/...n4923679.shtml

Are you telling me that funerals are not an acceptable place to drink my beer!@#$%?

First no masturbation at the public library and now this??

Damn sociological standards!! Who thinks these things up?
Wait a minute, are you saying my masturbation in the library is inapropriate? Is it because its the kids section (they have pillows on the floor) or is it just the library in general?
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Old 04-07-2009, 06:34 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Toxic View Post
Wait a minute, are you saying my masturbation in the library is inapropriate? Is it because its the kids section (they have pillows on the floor) or is it just the library in general?
They revoked my library card for just this reason. I'm sorry that the Dora the Explorer books are in the children's section. The people that run the place should know that a sexy latina doesn't deserve to be in the kid's section.
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Old 04-07-2009, 06:37 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Toxic View Post
Wait a minute, are you saying my masturbation in the library is inapropriate? Is it because its the kids section (they have pillows on the floor) or is it just the library in general?
Oh quite the contrary, I always thought that the library was the perfect place for masterbation. It's a quiet place so you can concentrate. It's Walkers thread that reeked of persecution which filled us all with outrage on the subject.
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Old 04-07-2009, 07:25 PM   #16 (permalink)
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LOL the dude's mom kicked someone in the chest. I think that's the funniest part of this story.

Also, LOL @ the girl who rips people's testicles off and tries to eat them and then says "I'm not a violent person".
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Old 04-07-2009, 07:44 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Alright name goes here- I'm taking up a notch:

#1:
Quote:
OU-UT rivalry leads to bar fight, gruesome injury 05:38 PM CDT on Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Associated Press OKLAHOMA CITY - To hear Oklahoma football fans tell it, some things just aren't done in the heart of Sooner Nation, and one of them is to walk into a bar wearing a Texas Longhorns T-shirt.


That's exactly what touched off a bloody skirmish that left a Texas-shirt-wearing fan nearly castrated and an Oklahoma fan facing aggravated assault charges that could put him in prison for up to five years.


The shocking case has set off a raging debate in this football-crazed region about the extreme passions behind a bitter rivalry. Some legal observers have even questioned whether this case could ever truly have an impartial jury.


"I've actually heard callers on talk radio say that this guy deserved what he got for wearing a Texas T-shirt into a bar in the middle of Sooner country," said Irven Box, an attorney in this city 20 miles from Oklahoma's campus in Norman.


According to police, 32-year-old Texas fan Brian Christopher Thomas walked into Henry Hudson's Pub on June 17 wearing a Longhorns T-shirt and quickly became the focus of football "trash talk" from another regular, 53-year-old Oklahoma fan Allen Michael Beckett.


Thomas told police that when he decided to leave and went to the bar to pay his tab, Beckett grabbed him in the crotch, pulled him to the ground and wouldn't let go, even as bar patrons tried to break it up. When the two men were separated, Thomas looked down and realized the extent of his injuries.


"He could see both of his testicles hanging on the outside of his body," said Thomas' attorney, Carl Hughes. "He was wearing a pair of white shorts, which made it that much worse."


It took more than 60 stitches to close the wound, and police interviewed Thomas at a nearby hospital emergency room.
Full article here:
http://www.wfaa.com/sharedcontent/dw....c49a24e3.html

The white shorts is like icing on the cake.

#2: Scorned wife:

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Old 04-07-2009, 07:56 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Thats why I wear a cup at all times. Balls are just badly designed
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Old 04-08-2009, 12:00 AM   #19 (permalink)
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how do alcohol threads on this forum always turn into another subject..... atleast this one isnt gay..... but were not too far away with talking about testicles and a scrotum being torn off by another man..... on second thought yeah... this pretty gay too... lol
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Old 04-08-2009, 04:02 AM   #20 (permalink)
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If thats what you consider gay, well I pity the guy who goes on a date with you
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