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post #21 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-12-2009, 02:46 PM
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Tell your mom that you normally use a condom, but not always, and well... your gf's pregnant.

If she wants to overeact about everything, give her some stuff to overreact.

Tell her your gf promises to get off the heroin now she's pregnant, and that you won't have to worry about money, as she makes good money pole dancing. And that your going to drop out of school to be a dad and you saw an add for gay porn that paid good and didn't need any qualifications.

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post #22 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-12-2009, 03:38 PM
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Tell your mom that you are a cyborg sent back from the future and that your girlfriend was marked for termination.

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post #23 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-12-2009, 05:10 PM
Defecato, ergo sum
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
ok make a long story short, girlfriend came over yesterday, we ****ed, i guess i ripped off the condom and a wrapper chunk fell somewhere, mom finds it shows my sister now i'm in shit.

anyone have any tips how can i explain this shit to my mom or convince her otherwise, or anyone have stories of something similar and how their parents took it?
If she won't take bonking your GF well, tell her that you wanted to wack off prison-style, and made a "suzy" out of a condom and a towel.

Defecato, ergo sum.


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post #24 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-13-2009, 04:20 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by TERMINATOR View Post

Tell your mom just for fun that you think a womens vagina is like a beautiful rose but when your done with it, it looks like a bulldog eating mayonnaise. she like the thoughtfulness
Dude no bullshit i told my mom that the female vagina is one of the most beautiful things i have experienced and that it was worth doing because it has changed my life and my approach to women and that sex is a beautiful thing, and my mom is chill she thinks it matured me or some shit

but i was bullshitting that, i just love ******* ***** :]
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post #25 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-13-2009, 05:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
i'm seventeen and my parents are strict and whatnot. They thought we just kissed and chilled when everyday after school she'd come over to just ****
Nah dude its no big deal, your 17 years old. What could a 17 year old boy and a 17 year old girl possibly doing alone in a room for hours every single day. I mean does anyone even consider the fact that they might not be *******? No, well I would say the same for your parents, but never underestimate the power of denial.



If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so. ~ Thomas Jefferson


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post #26 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-14-2009, 04:26 PM
Defecato, ergo sum
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Negative1 View Post
I wish there was a page where I could log all the sentences that make me laugh like an idiot for everyone to read.

Why is it that the threads about j*rking off and screwing your girlfriend have the best posts?
Because all good humor has to do with sex or feces.

Defecato, ergo sum.


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