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Old 10-10-2009, 08:43 PM   #1 (permalink)
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The Laws of the Universe Thread

Certain laws of the universe are a given, like, the other line moves faster, hot women being with total douchebags b/c they have a lot of money, and so forth.

I want to dig a little deeper though, because sometimes we talk about laws of the universe that are not talked about.

For example:

COULD YOU, LIKE, GET LESS STUFF?

If you go into your favorite restaurant and you see that you have your least favorite server in the section where you sit, you can be sure that the people before you will have given him or her a very detailed order for a vast amount of food, with explanations for each request. The server's patience will be worn to a fine thread by the time they get to you and you just got boned, cuz.

JUKEBOX HERO

If you are in an eating/drinking establishmen with your significant other, superior at work, lifelong friend, or anyone whom you need to have an exceptionally important conversation with at that time, for whatever reason, someone will pump enough to significantly defray the debt of several African nations into the jukebox, playing the worst music you can think of that is the polar opposite of whatever mood you are trying to create or advance.

LEZZING OUT

Whenever two or more women are in one place by themselves, they lez out. Cartman referenced this in the "Marjorine" episode of South Park whilst preparing Butters to attend the sleepover. I have been told that whenever a group of men are suddenly quiet for any reason, it is because they sense that somewhere, women lezzed out. I realize there is a "if a tree falls in the forest does anyone hear it" factor, and I can't recall the last time that I saw a group of men be quiet, but my source was the great MC, and he has Emerson-conferred knowledge.

OK guys, your turn.
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Old 10-10-2009, 08:49 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Oh, nice list. Yes, it's true, men can sense women lezzing out when they are near.

To add to the lezzing out section, all female waxers are lesbians. They get the job only to have lesbian sex with the women going in for their waxing.
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Old 10-12-2009, 10:49 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Old 10-12-2009, 11:02 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Old 10-12-2009, 11:25 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Old 10-12-2009, 12:35 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by LV 2 H8 U View Post
If you had a big pecker then your face would be the problem. Either way your not getting laid.
Yes, when women are not lezzing out in various fitting rooms, locker rooms, dorm rooms etc., we do pay attention to who is attached to a package, should we find ourselves with a man.
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Old 10-20-2009, 08:07 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Old 10-20-2009, 09:30 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Old 10-20-2009, 08:05 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Old 10-22-2009, 12:43 AM   #10 (permalink)
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