Life is feeling kind of empty now.
1) Family: this is the most ****ed up dysfunctional family I've ever seen. My "wife" (yeah, we're pretty much separated now, just need to get divorce papers filled and my own place) has this kind of post pardum depression going, and me and the kids are the ones suffering for it. I won't go into details with everything she does, but let's just say that aggression, violence and mental abuse is her name of the game right now.
2) School: another empty feeling thing going on in my life right now. I know I only have a few classes left for a degree, but I'm not sure what classes I want to sign up to. Security versus coding. Both are pretty much guaranteed jobs and a good future, and I like both of them equally much. I don't know, just stressful knowing that no matter what route I go, I will miss out on the other. Plus, it's just as stressful knowing that I might be able to continue studying like I want to because of the separation and everything.
3) Emotions/mental health: I just don't know. Things aren't looking too good at the moment, and I just.. yeah well, things are stressful.
4) Friends: one of my friends just left for Thailand for 3 months. It will feel empty without her, cause she was the one I could share this shit with. The others.. well, since quitting drugs and suicide attempts, I've lost practically everyone I knew. I know it's not a good idea to whine about it, but what's there left to do when half of my old friends are either dead, junkies or still trying to suicide. I'm not totally alone tho, but the ones I have are through school, and needless to say - they are more career oriented and our shared interests are tech stuff and coding.
I know it's a bad thing to complain, and things are probably looking better than I think, but shit feels like shit.