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Old 08-17-2011, 06:42 PM   #14181 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Coq de Combat View Post
Life is feeling kind of empty now.

1) Family: this is the most ****ed up dysfunctional family I've ever seen. My "wife" (yeah, we're pretty much separated now, just need to get divorce papers filled and my own place) has this kind of post pardum depression going, and me and the kids are the ones suffering for it. I won't go into details with everything she does, but let's just say that aggression, violence and mental abuse is her name of the game right now.

2) School: another empty feeling thing going on in my life right now. I know I only have a few classes left for a degree, but I'm not sure what classes I want to sign up to. Security versus coding. Both are pretty much guaranteed jobs and a good future, and I like both of them equally much. I don't know, just stressful knowing that no matter what route I go, I will miss out on the other. Plus, it's just as stressful knowing that I might be able to continue studying like I want to because of the separation and everything.

3) Emotions/mental health: I just don't know. Things aren't looking too good at the moment, and I just.. yeah well, things are stressful.

4) Friends: one of my friends just left for Thailand for 3 months. It will feel empty without her, cause she was the one I could share this shit with. The others.. well, since quitting drugs and suicide attempts, I've lost practically everyone I knew. I know it's not a good idea to whine about it, but what's there left to do when half of my old friends are either dead, junkies or still trying to suicide. I'm not totally alone tho, but the ones I have are through school, and needless to say - they are more career oriented and our shared interests are tech stuff and coding.

I know it's a bad thing to complain, and things are probably looking better than I think, but shit feels like shit.
There is a lot of people here who don't give a shit and will use this against you in the future unfortunately. Lucky for you I am not one of them, PM me and we can talk if you want.

EDIT: That could be taken the wrong way, what I mean to say is; This community is great, there are A LOT of supporting people. However, not everyone on the internet is great.
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Old 08-17-2011, 06:52 PM   #14182 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Intermission View Post
There is a lot of people here who don't give a shit and will use this against you in the future unfortunately. Lucky for you I am not one of them, PM me and we can talk if you want.
Thank you my friend. I might just do that one day..

As for them using this against me in the future.. I don't worry about it too much, because it's just a "meh" kind of argument technique to use personal shit as arguments.
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Old 08-17-2011, 06:58 PM   #14183 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coq de Combat View Post
Life is feeling kind of empty now.

1) Family: this is the most ****ed up dysfunctional family I've ever seen. My "wife" (yeah, we're pretty much separated now, just need to get divorce papers filled and my own place) has this kind of post pardum depression going, and me and the kids are the ones suffering for it. I won't go into details with everything she does, but let's just say that aggression, violence and mental abuse is her name of the game right now.

2) School: another empty feeling thing going on in my life right now. I know I only have a few classes left for a degree, but I'm not sure what classes I want to sign up to. Security versus coding. Both are pretty much guaranteed jobs and a good future, and I like both of them equally much. I don't know, just stressful knowing that no matter what route I go, I will miss out on the other. Plus, it's just as stressful knowing that I might be able to continue studying like I want to because of the separation and everything.

3) Emotions/mental health: I just don't know. Things aren't looking too good at the moment, and I just.. yeah well, things are stressful.

4) Friends: one of my friends just left for Thailand for 3 months. It will feel empty without her, cause she was the one I could share this shit with. The others.. well, since quitting drugs and suicide attempts, I've lost practically everyone I knew. I know it's not a good idea to whine about it, but what's there left to do when half of my old friends are either dead, junkies or still trying to suicide. I'm not totally alone tho, but the ones I have are through school, and needless to say - they are more career oriented and our shared interests are tech stuff and coding.

I know it's a bad thing to complain, and things are probably looking better than I think, but shit feels like shit.
Usually id make a joke here and tell you to consume your sorrows in alcohol. But i honestly think you have serious issues. You are going through a really rough patch it sounds and that sucks for anyone. But if you have a serious history of drugs and suicide attempts then you just cant allow yourself to handle this on your own. As it is right now i think you are on a very rocky path to relapsing. You mentioned you have kids?? Dont do this to them. You dont sound very stable and until you can take care of yourself how are you supposed to take care of them??

I wish you best of luck man and i hope things arnt as bad as they are sounding. If you have the money then go see some counseling. Im sure there are some free programs that could help you 2. Maybe go to some type of meeting where people talk to each other in groups. Youd be surprised but talking things out is a huge stress reliever.

Take care of yourself man. Start with changing that avy... its emo. You need to put your mind in a happier place.
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Old 08-17-2011, 07:07 PM   #14184 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SideWays222 View Post
Usually id make a joke here and tell you to consume your sorrows in alcohol. But i honestly think you have serious issues. You are going through a really rough patch it sounds and that sucks for anyone. But if you have a serious history of drugs and suicide attempts then you just cant allow yourself to handle this on your own. As it is right now i think you are on a very rocky path to relapsing. You mentioned you have kids?? Dont do this to them. You dont sound very stable and until you can take care of yourself how are you supposed to take care of them??

I wish you best of luck man and i hope things arnt as bad as they are sounding. If you have the money then go see some counseling. Im sure there are some free programs that could help you 2. Maybe go to some type of meeting where people talk to each other in groups. Youd be surprised but talking things out is a huge stress reliever.

Take care of yourself man. Start with changing that avy... its emo. You need to put your mind in a happier place.
Thanks mate. Nah, as for the drugs and suicide it's been years now. I'm in no real danger to go back there again. I hardly even touch alcohol nowadays.. A whiskey from time to time is all I need.

But yeah, should I start feeling like I'm closing in on drugs and all that, I will go to a psychiatrist and a therapist to talk to them. I have too much to lose to go back to drugs and all that. I do have my old therapists number though, who I talk with every now and then. Might just talk to him next time about all this.

This avy is actually a pretty happy one, even if it looks emo. It's from the Chemical Brothers album Dig your own hole.
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Old 08-17-2011, 07:20 PM   #14185 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coq de Combat View Post
Thanks mate. Nah, as for the drugs and suicide it's been years now. I'm in no real danger to go back there again. I hardly even touch alcohol nowadays.. A whiskey from time to time is all I need.

But yeah, should I start feeling like I'm closing in on drugs and all that, I will go to a psychiatrist and a therapist to talk to them. I have too much to lose to go back to drugs and all that. I do have my old therapists number though, who I talk with every now and then. Might just talk to him next time about all this.

This avy is actually a pretty happy one, even if it looks emo. It's from the Chemical Brothers album Dig your own hole.
Well im glad to hear that man. Too many stories out there about people relapsing as soon as things get rough. Be smart and dont do that to yourself. I still think you should seek out a group and just talk. I think it could help out alot of the problems you have going on just by talking them out with other people. I have a few things iv been keeping hidden for the last couple weeks and its been driving me nuts. I want to come clean to the parties involved but im being too much off a ***** to face the outcome.
Just remember though.. its always darkest before the dawn. You seem to think you know what you are doing and i honestly do believe you. So just try to find someone to share with.. even if its just with us online. And remember that things will get better. Other then that.. you just need to worry about taking care of yourself and youl be fine.
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Old 08-17-2011, 07:32 PM   #14186 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SideWays222 View Post
Well im glad to hear that man. Too many stories out there about people relapsing as soon as things get rough. Be smart and dont do that to yourself. I still think you should seek out a group and just talk. I think it could help out alot of the problems you have going on just by talking them out with other people. I have a few things iv been keeping hidden for the last couple weeks and its been driving me nuts. I want to come clean to the parties involved but im being too much off a ***** to face the outcome.
Just remember though.. its always darkest before the dawn. You seem to think you know what you are doing and i honestly do believe you. So just try to find someone to share with.. even if its just with us online. And remember that things will get better. Other then that.. you just need to worry about taking care of yourself and youl be fine.
Thank you. Yeah, I've been down this road before without relapsing, and each time it gets easier. I usually do have someone to talk to as well, just guess it felt a bit heavier tonight for some reason and needed to vent it out here.

What you said about being darkest before dawn, it is true. I usually think that way as well and it's a pretty comforting thought. I usually say "**** it, it'll be better" and it does.

I guess my point is that things have a way of working out in the end, and with some effort, they will this time too.

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Old 08-17-2011, 07:53 PM   #14187 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SideWays222 View Post
If you have the money then go see some counseling. Im sure there are some free programs that could help you
this ^

it really helps and gives an outside perspective and unbiased advice. its helped me in the past.


@ufc_owns

did you hear that "you dun goofed" guy went to jail for child abuse? xD

looks like he dun goofed ;D

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Old 08-17-2011, 08:19 PM   #14188 (permalink)
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So this guy:



ain't got shit on me apparently. I have never done so much different shit and done to me than yesterday, ridiculous.
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Old 08-17-2011, 08:28 PM   #14189 (permalink)
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I'm fairly certain that I could amuse myself for a few hours a day, by finding an actively accessed elevator, waiting for everyone to get on then step on last so that I'm in the front, while wearing this shirt:

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Old 08-17-2011, 09:00 PM   #14190 (permalink)
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dragging my ass in from a brutal day. Got an OSB splinter the size of a tent stake driven aaallll the way under my fingernail.

Got my old buddy Jim Beam to help me dig it out with a knife and hemostats tonight. If that doesn't work I'll be seeing a doc tomorrow.

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