I'm getting a man's bird, not going to do any of that "pretty bird" crap. Parakeets talk, they are known to say up to 150 words, but from what I hear, generally about 10-15 words/phrases. Going to teach it to say "you're ignorant" in the MJ voice, and some other words/phrases I can't yet think of. "You're a bitch" would be cool.
As for the name, I am still thinking. Maybe "Dongslapper". I'll keep updating you guys.
"You lack the requisite spine and testicular fortitude to study under me"