We're out of vodka, merlot and Rebel Yell, so that's automatically Defcon 3.
I often buy a cheap scotch called Grand Macnish, because it gives me fond memories of a college friend who would drink quantities of it and then talk like Fat Bastard. My dad, on the rare occasions that he does drink, drinks the high-end stuff. How he tolerates it, I have no idea. If I drink an inch's worth of single malt, I feel like I've been passed out in a peat bog for hours.
I may have to escape to the gym.
Sig Credit to Toxic