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Old 07-03-2009, 01:56 PM   #51 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by TraMaI View Post
No actually they went up in price because of ******* "netbooks". Terrible, terrible things netbooks are.

Glad it seems to be back on track...just keep that guard up(lol) but Im happy to hear things are well.....for a sec i though you did slit someones throat and we were never gonna here from you again.......

Which would have been badass on your part but dumb.....
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Old 07-03-2009, 02:01 PM   #52 (permalink)
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Old 07-03-2009, 02:06 PM   #53 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by All_In_GSP View Post
This time you seemed to be right on the money though.



And that makes it ok?



Not to be a dick, but you come off as being entirely too dependent on this chick; in a way that seems to be negatively affecting your self-worth and confidence.

I hate to tell you this but pushing all of the evidence to the back of your mind is only going to make you feel better temporarily, especially when it seems likely she'll do this crap at another point. You forgiving her certainly won't deter it from happening again.

What do your guy friends think about all of this? Do you stay in contact with a lot of them? What do they think of your fiancé? All I know is I'd be the devil in your that the very fact that you felt enough and found enough to create this thread, that your girl wasn't actin right. Why were directions given to his house? Why was he asking when she'd visit? Maybe I'm territorial with women or something, but that kinda stuff is just nuts to me.



Being bi-polar is an excuse to openly talk to another guy who refers to her as "babe", cover it up, and then just act like everything is normal again? And even if it did, that's what you want for the rest of your life?

Thanks for the advice though (glad I didnt follow it but I came really ******* close, if only my friend picked up his phone at 5AM)
If took this correctly, listen to Tiger and don't blame the guy. Why wouldn't he given the opportunity you fiancé has given him? Why should he care about you? Why doesn't your fiancé?

Also I told her I have his address committed to memory (I do) and if she goes to visit him I'll slit his throat. >:[ANGRY JUBAL]:< [/quote]

It really bothers me when the guy gets mad at the other guy and not the girl when events like this take place.



That's basically our nice way of saying we're glad your life is no longer "shit" but how do you not see the writing on the wall?

This is such a weird thread. Given your only two responses on here Trai, it seems like you're also bi-polar. "Cheating bitch" too "nah it's cool, she's just bi-polar and all that weird shit is all good now that I can see her emails." It's another one of those vent-a-threads where they never actually wanted to take the advice given in the thread in the first place, so advice-givers just go, "oh…that's greaaaat…you're back with her and she's told you she's not gonna be weird. Yaaaay (arms raised halfway above our shoulders)! I understand that's your child's mother and you've been with her since you were 15, but you should be thinking about moving on from this. You've spent a large portion of your logical thinking life with this girl and you really don't seem to know any different. Reality is girls just don't have "friends" on the internet that "miss them" and give out their address in hopes of seeing them. I dunno man, do what you gotta do. I just think you need to do a lot more thinking about yourself. It seems your fiancé has already taken to that advice.

PS – sorry to come off like a dick.[/quote]


Awesome post and insight.

The fact that your gf is bipolar is no excuse for behaving like this. Yes, people with bipolar disorder go through emotional ups and downs, and often have erroneous ways of perceiving their surroundings, but her searching for another guy is not a direct symptom of bipolar disorder. Obviously there is more going on.

I am not sure the whole "I got full access to her email account, checking account, text messages and follow her wherever she goes" thing is not good by any means. I have been with my girlfriend about a year now. The truth is I have no urge to check her emails or texts or anything, because I trust her. I am not worried about her meeting some other guy online or anything and that is why our relationship works so well. The fact that you have to have the ability to "creep" on her is not a good thing. Not in a sense that you are indeed being creepy, but relationships with that little trust won't work and will only continue to eat at you.

I hope you guys do work it out, both for you and the kids. Everyone makes mistakes and does things they regret. But it does not seem like your relationship is "worked out" at all. There are obviously trust issues and if the only reason you want to work it out is because being with her seems normal, then you need to re-evaulate your situation. Be bestfriends with your girl, not minor acquaintances who live together.
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Old 07-03-2009, 02:09 PM   #54 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by All_In_GSP View Post
This time you seemed to be right on the money though.



And that makes it ok?



Not to be a dick, but you come off as being entirely too dependent on this chick; in a way that seems to be negatively affecting your self-worth and confidence.

I hate to tell you this but pushing all of the evidence to the back of your mind is only going to make you feel better temporarily, especially when it seems likely she'll do this crap at another point. You forgiving her certainly won't deter it from happening again.

What do your guy friends think about all of this? Do you stay in contact with a lot of them? What do they think of your fiancé? All I know is I'd be the devil in your that the very fact that you felt enough and found enough to create this thread, that your girl wasn't actin right. Why were directions given to his house? Why was he asking when she'd visit? Maybe I'm territorial with women or something, but that kinda stuff is just nuts to me.



Being bi-polar is an excuse to openly talk to another guy who refers to her as "babe", cover it up, and then just act like everything is normal again? And even if it did, that's what you want for the rest of your life?

Thanks for the advice though (glad I didnt follow it but I came really ******* close, if only my friend picked up his phone at 5AM)
If took this correctly, listen to Tiger and don't blame the guy. Why wouldn't he given the opportunity you fiancé has given him? Why should he care about you? Why doesn't your fiancé?

Also I told her I have his address committed to memory (I do) and if she goes to visit him I'll slit his throat. >:[ANGRY JUBAL]:< [/quote]

It really bothers me when the guy gets mad at the other guy and not the girl when events like this take place.



That's basically our nice way of saying we're glad your life is no longer "shit" but how do you not see the writing on the wall?

This is such a weird thread. Given your only two responses on here Trai, it seems like you're also bi-polar. "Cheating bitch" too "nah it's cool, she's just bi-polar and all that weird shit is all good now that I can see her emails." It's another one of those vent-a-threads where they never actually wanted to take the advice given in the thread in the first place, so advice-givers just go, "oh…that's greaaaat…you're back with her and she's told you she's not gonna be weird. Yaaaay (arms raised halfway above our shoulders)! I understand that's your child's mother and you've been with her since you were 15, but you should be thinking about moving on from this. You've spent a large portion of your logical thinking life with this girl and you really don't seem to know any different. Reality is girls just don't have "friends" on the internet that "miss them" and give out their address in hopes of seeing them. I dunno man, do what you gotta do. I just think you need to do a lot more thinking about yourself. It seems your fiancé has already taken to that advice.

PS – sorry to come off like a dick.[/quote]
all right, tiem to clear more up.


I have in no way put this in the back of my mind trust me. It's still there and still very prevalent. I know what she did and I'm not about to forget it. Its not like she says "we're just friends nwo" and gets off clean. She's on probation to say the least.

I wasn't JUST mad at the other dude. I was really pissed at her too, I just didnt post the conversation verbatim in here (too mch foul language :P)

The reason I AM mad at the dude is because I talked to him about it before I even said ANYTHING to her. I told him I knew everything and I told him that it's ****ed up, we have a kid etc. He completely ignored it and proceeded to call me a psycho boy friend ETC and basically all around disrespected me for it. I was trying to eb the better man about it and NOT be mad at him. After all, sometimes the other guy just doesnt know. He did. He had no excuse other than massive doucheness. I know that I'd never do that to another man. If I'm hitting on a girl and her boyfriend is like "Hey dude, chill the **** out, we have a family and you're messing shit up" I'd immediately stop. Thats totally ****ed up and completely disrespectful, so I think I reserve every right to be mad at him.


Like I said, I've told her she's on probation. The first time she pulls something like this again and I'm leaving and taking our daughter with us in a heartbeat.


EDIT: @shield.

the email access thing is more a sign that I can trust her. Just because I CAN doesnt mean I am. If she acts like shes got something to hide then maybe, but I'm not just randomly going to check her email and shit.

And yes, being self destructive/searching for someone else/ruining marriages is actually a fairly common side effect of bipolar disorder. I've talked ot her doctor and her counselor about it.
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Old 07-03-2009, 02:34 PM   #55 (permalink)
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You might want to think about the implications of becoming a house husband - ie financial dependence - you two aren't married, I'm not sure if things go south you might not be up shit creek a couple of years down the line with no personal savings and a bad hole in your cv. I mean what is the law like in your state in respect to seperating partners, male stay at home partners etc.

Don't get me wrong though, a child can def benifit from an available parent, and if you are the primary carer that will make it more likely you'll get custody.

Also how much has she 'come clean' about what she's been up to? How much do you think she is making up excuses?
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Old 07-03-2009, 02:57 PM   #56 (permalink)
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She's completely come clean. for quite a while after everythign happened originally I was a complete dick and just didnt talk to her because she WAS making up excuses and stuff. I can tell when she's being honest and I'm not in denial about the situation. We're doing good. It'll take time to heal ALL the wounds but at least they're being mended.


Also, the main reason I stay at home and she doesnt is because I got laid off and the job market it utter shit around here.Like I said, I want a job, I just cant find one.



And SWP: A netbook is a laptop that is primarily used for nothing but surfing the internet/email/very non-intensive computing. They cost around $300-$500 and they're utter shit computers. But since they're so cheap for what they're for, a good laptop that's needed to game/design do any sort of REAL work is around 900-1k now.
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Old 07-03-2009, 06:13 PM   #57 (permalink)
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Old 07-03-2009, 07:09 PM   #58 (permalink)
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Damn Traimai...What a situation. I'm really glad to hear about everything turning out well. I just hope everything keeps going well. I couldn't believe that crap when I first read it. It's crazy.

But anyway, good luck dude. I hope you're able to find a job and I also hope everything ends well. I get extremely jealous in my relationship (I'm getting better for her) and extremely angry in many situations. I just know that in this situation, it would be very hard for me to keep a strong head. So props to you for staying strong and not overreacting like I would have.
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Old 07-03-2009, 07:27 PM   #59 (permalink)
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Sounds like she lied her ass off to get out of that one.
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Old 07-03-2009, 09:09 PM   #60 (permalink)
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Sounds like she lied her ass off to get out of that one.

Im somewhat in agreement.......
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