Obligitory "I need advice because my life is shit" thread - MMA Forum - UFC Forums - UFC Results - MMA Videos
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Old 06-30-2009, 07:30 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Obligitory "I need advice because my life is shit" thread

So here's the story.


My fiancee got counter strike a few months ago and all was well until last month. She met a guy on CS:S, he lives in maryland. Anyways, she started to be good friends with him over steam (chat client for CSS) and I had no problem with that. Then she started talking to him for hours at a time on the phone, which seriously perturbed me. I was angry and I told her, she basically said "I dont think I'm doing anything wrong." We said we're over. Next week we kind of make up. She says she's nothing but friends with dude. I say okay and we start to repair our relationship.

Here's where the fun starts:

Next night she stays up all night. I get up in the morning and get on my computer and (oddly enough) all of my username/passwords aren't logged in (they auto login on m regular sites like this one), so it was obvious that she did something fishy and was trying ot cover it up. Thankfully(?) she didnt cover it up well enough, I checked my history and she was up all night talking to the guy over myspace and LOOKING UP ******* DRIVING DIRECTIONS TO HIS HOUSE.

I said nothing.

Yesterday we went to a concert together and had an awesome time, like nothing had ever happened. I Had a great time and never even thought about the whole situation.

She gets home and instantly talks to him on the computer. I write it off and say nothing again.

Tonight (havent slept yet), I was on the computer and she forgot to log out of her steam account because her friend came over and when I got on the computer dude sent her (me) a message.

"I miss u so much babe"

so at this point I'm trying desperately to not ******* kill the next thing that looks at me funny, or drive to his hosue and destroy him (History saved his address). I say nothing again but at this point I'm obviously ******* FURIOUS with her. I stopped talking to ehr and every time she looked at me I just glared.

She goes to sleep.

Remember how I said all of my accounts log in automatically? Works both ways, hers do too.

Went on her mspace, who wants to read? I know you guys do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dude
Subject:
yar
Body:
wanting to kiss u right now!
seriously.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dudes friend
That's awesome! I look forward to meeting you!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Chelsea
To: Count Frostbane, the Impaler
Date: Jun 25, 2009 12:45 AM
Subject: RE: hey your online!



as long as he'll let me =]
but probly only for a few days maybe three
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Count Frostbane, the Impaler
To: Chelsea
Date: Jun 25, 2009 12:44 AM
Subject: RE: hey your online!



Sweet action! How long do you plan on being here for?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Chelsea
To: Count Frostbane, the Impaler
Date: Jun 25, 2009 12:41 AM
Subject: RE: hey your online!



hopefully around the 8th...but i guess we will see what happens, not quite sure if i got that week off yet

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Count Frostbane, the Impaler
To: Chelsea
Date: Jun 25, 2009 12:36 AM
Subject: RE: hey your online!



Haha, fair enough! It's why I stick around :P

When do you plan on coming down?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Chelsea
To: Count Frostbane, the Impaler
Date: Jun 25, 2009 12:35 AM
Subject: RE: hey your online!


yea sometimes, and i want to go there for Nathaniel of course!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Count Frostbane, the Impaler
To: Chelsea
Date: Jun 24, 2009 11:16 PM
Subject: RE: hey your online!


Hello! Nice to meet you I guess

But I must ask, why on Earth would you want to come here? :P

You play CS with Potts right?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Chelsea
To: Count Frostbane, the Impaler
Date: Jun 24, 2009 11:12 PM
Subject: hey your online!


i suppose i should say hi. hopefully i will get to meet you and the rest of nates friends when i get down there.

Advice: Go.
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Old 06-30-2009, 07:41 AM   #2 (permalink)
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normally, you get the whole "you're paranoid / checking her private email is bad / you should be more trusting."

personally, with all the evidence currently, if she tells you she's leaving for a few days when the 8th comes around, tell her to pack her crap in the car when she leaves because she ain't coming back here, then change the locks when she's gone. if she asks "why are you being this mean?" then just show her this thread with all your proof. if she wants to stay and work it out, for God's sake WORK IT OUT! if she's wants to go.... Ace is the Place for new locks.
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Old 06-30-2009, 07:43 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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There is only really one option here, dump her ass and if possible sleep with a few of her freinds just to throw some salt in the wound. Dont waste time trying to make shit work or playing any mind f*** games its just a waste of time and energy and she has made it clear what shit means to her.
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Old 06-30-2009, 08:01 AM   #4 (permalink)
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BTW:

we have a child. In my rant I forgot to mention it. If we didnt I wouldve been gone a month ago
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Old 06-30-2009, 10:12 AM   #5 (permalink)
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BTW:

we have a child. In my rant I forgot to mention it. If we didnt I wouldve been gone a month ago
Think carefully about how you'll make sure your child (boy? girl? age? I'm just curious) will be looked after, which I'm sure will come quickly and easily, because of parent autopilot.

Do NOT marry this girl. I don't think she's ready to be *anybody's* wife ATM.

Then pack up your stuff, and the child's stuff if he/she is coming with you, and run, don't walk.
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Old 06-30-2009, 11:28 AM   #6 (permalink)
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She is clearly looking for something new...this is what women (obviously not all) do when they are in a relationship they are not completely satisfied with...they try to find a new one to jump into so they won't have to be alone or whatever. Or they are just testing the waters. This is obviously not your fault but clearly something in your relationship is not there that she thinks she can get from somewhere else.

I would just tell her that time apart is required because you can't trust her right now. Everything she has done/told you is misleading IMO. You need to separate from her to see if you really need her in your life. Obviously she needs to be in your child's life and you can still talk about that part of your lives together, but I stress do not blame this guy because it would be someone else if it weren't him. He may not even know you exist. If it was a friend of yours, that would be different but that is not the case.
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Old 06-30-2009, 01:53 PM   #7 (permalink)
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People that do this type of thing, not just cheating but elaborate planning about how and when they are going to do it tend to have the same personality defect and will most likely continue doing this type of shady stuff for a long, long time. Not worth it, if you stay together you are going to end up resenting this person and it will make things terrible. It is better for your child to grow up in two separate homes then one unhappy home. Take the high road and get out of the relationship before it gets ugly.
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Old 06-30-2009, 02:20 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Get a private detective to follow and get proof of her cheating. Then get custody of the kid, and kick her out. Who earns more?
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Old 06-30-2009, 02:31 PM   #9 (permalink)
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My advise would be to end it but do it the most calm and mature way you can manage, if you stay calm you dont shout and scream it will give her nothing and she will feel like shit. I feel for you man its gonna be a nightmare either way.
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Old 06-30-2009, 02:54 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Just tell her calmly you know whats happened, and tell her you would like to keep the kid. If she denies she did anything, show her the proof. Keep it calm as possible, don't hack her head off with an axe.
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