The Key to Heaven
Mother Superior called a young novice into her office one evening. 'Now dear, I want you to give the Father his nightly bath. You are to do as he tells you and be sure to report to me in the morning,' she said.
The novice agreed to do as she was told and went to prepare the Father's bath. Doing as she was told, the novice washed the Father's hair and back. While she was doing this the Father told the novice that he had the key to heaven. The Father told her that if his key to heaven fit her gate, she would be saved.
The next morning the novice entered Mother Superior's office. 'So how did it go last night dear? He didn't try anything on you, did he?' she asked.
'Oh, Mother, it was wonderful! I did exactly as you told me to and when I was giving him his bath he told me the HE has the KEY TO HEAVEN!
I was amazed, and he went on to tell me that if his key fit my gate, I would be saved. And Mother, his key FIT my gate! And it was the most beautiful thing in the world!'
And the Mother said, 'Damn that man! He told me it was Gabriel's horn and I've been blowing it for 40 years!'