I was out with this girl who I had been dating for about two weeks. We were crazy hot for each other. That night was the first time we had gone out with our friends and got completely shit faced. We were all over each other in the cab but I could tell I was on my way toward trouble (too much booze). We get to her place and I'm getting worse and she's not much better off.. We are crashing through her apartment toward her bed room, laughing our asses off telling each other too be quiet.
Very quickly we are naked and in bed...on thing leads to another and she tells me grab a condom and get down to business. Well, as drunk as I was the comdom proves to be a difficult challenge. When I final get it on she says, "I'm getting dry, grab some lube for that same drawer".
I apply the lube and we start going to town. I'm on top of her and the hand I used to apply the lube is near my face. Suddenly a strong odder that isn't lube hits my nose.....
It takes a second for my brain to recognize the smell but when it does I know we've got a probelm...
Its Icey Hot
Just as I realize what I've done she starts to lose her shit... SHe throws me off and bolts for the hallway. She is bellowing in pain and running naked toward the bathroom. I take off after her ttrying to explain what happened. Mid apology I begin to feel a certain level of discomfort. I look down and start screaming too.. The Icey Hot has eatten through the condom leaving little remains of latex on me and my dick is firehyderate red.
I start running/limping to the bathroom butt naked with a penis that could light santa's way when my gf's room mate comes out of her room right in front of me. She screams and jumps back into her room. She would never look me in the eye again after that night.
So, my gf is in the shower and I'm trying to rinse off in the sink. At this point she's freaked out because she has to go the hosipital and how could she ever explain this to a doctor. To calm her I recommend calling poison control to see if we actually need to go the ER.
I call and get this lady who sounds like she a truck stop waiteress. I try to explain what's going on but I'm stumbling over my words, not sure how to present the situation and she final says, "listen, I've heard it all before, just be a man and tell me."
So i tell her I just ****ed my gf with Icey Hot. She responds, "Oh, that's it? I though something serious happened. She'll be fine".
I cant believe I took like 25minutes to type this out xD
If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so. ~ Thomas Jefferson
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