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post #51 of 72 (permalink) Old 08-16-2010, 09:03 AM
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I was invited to a charity function recently for the Premature Ejaculation Society. I wasn't sure what the dress code was, so I just came in my pants.

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I remember when my mum would tuck me in.

She really wanted a daughter
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I surveyed 100 woman and asked them what shampoo they used when showering …

98% of them said …
“How the f4ck did you get in here !!”
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whats black and sits at the top of the stairs?


Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
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I've been following Stevie Wonder on twitter the guy's a genius here is a small quote from him.


"lkjdlfknsdllkn lknfvij asl;k lkj llkg lkgjlksjfllk h kjALASSDVO mmh JFKFJ LKFJ hjgdkjbluyuf lhluyufn ggcytf'poj fdjhbb hghcki hdkj#[pytrshgvvm

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post #52 of 72 (permalink) Old 08-16-2010, 02:56 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by uno dondo View Post
I was invited to a charity function recently for the Premature Ejaculation Society. I wasn't sure what the dress code was, so I just came in my pants.

______________________


I remember when my mum would tuck me in.

She really wanted a daughter
______________________


I surveyed 100 woman and asked them what shampoo they used when showering …

98% of them said …
“How the f4ck did you get in here !!”
_______________________

whats black and sits at the top of the stairs?


Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
________________________

I've been following Stevie Wonder on twitter the guy's a genius here is a small quote from him.


"lkjdlfknsdllkn lknfvij asl;k lkj llkg lkgjlksjfllk h kjALASSDVO mmh JFKFJ LKFJ hjgdkjbluyuf lhluyufn ggcytf'poj fdjhbb hghcki hdkj#[pytrshgvvm

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Not bad, I got a good laugh out of those
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post #53 of 72 (permalink) Old 08-16-2010, 03:05 PM
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the opening scenes of saving private ryan were based on games of dodgeball chuck norris played in grade 5

1 mil? lol
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post #54 of 72 (permalink) Old 08-16-2010, 04:55 PM
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A charity single has been released in aid of the Pakistan flood victims..............raindrops keep falling on ahmed
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My mates just caught me sniffing his sisters knickers while I was masturbating


Thats going to difficult at the funeral tomorrow.
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What does a girls asshole and a 9v battery have in common ?

You know it's wrong but eventually you will stick your tongue in it.

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Paddy goes to the doctors with a bad back, doctor asks how did you do it? Paddy replies "having sex doggy style!!"

Doctor says "try having sex the normal way?"

Paddy said "i have but the dog keeps licking my face!!!!"

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Last edited by uno dondo; 08-16-2010 at 05:03 PM.
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post #55 of 72 (permalink) Old 08-16-2010, 05:21 PM
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I'm gonna post one in a while when I have more time.
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post #56 of 72 (permalink) Old 08-16-2010, 08:26 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Leed View Post
I'm gonna post one in a while when I have more time.
WE HAVE A WINNER!!! THAT WAS SO FUNNY!!! But seriosuly, I am not offended yet.
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post #57 of 72 (permalink) Old 08-16-2010, 08:50 PM
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miley cyrus was voted the worst celebrity influence of 2009...i guess chris brown never hit rhianna hard enough.

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post #58 of 72 (permalink) Old 08-16-2010, 09:34 PM
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Horse walks into the bar, bartender asks, why the long face?
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post #59 of 72 (permalink) Old 08-16-2010, 10:27 PM
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why do japanese sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

so you can tell them apart from feminists.

---
how do you know your wife is dead?
the sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.

---
why cant women drive?
there is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.

---

whats red and hangs on telephone wires?
a baby that went through the snowblower.

----
crop circles are chuck norris's way of saying that sometimes, corn just needs to lay the **** down.

---
chuck norris floats like a butterfly and stinks like a tomahawk missile at mach 5, to the face.

---
chuck norris has the best poker face of all time, he once won the world series of poker with a two of clubs, a seven of spades, a used subway coupon, a get out of jail free monopoly card, and a green number four card from the game uno.

---
god said let there be light, and chuck norris responded "say please."

"Only a warrior can choose pacifism, others are condemned to it."
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post #60 of 72 (permalink) Old 08-16-2010, 11:39 PM
I'm a doctor too, ya dingus.
 
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what sound does a baby make in a microwave?

i dunno, i was too busy masturbating.
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