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post #71 of 72 (permalink) Old 08-24-2010, 08:25 AM
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A muslim is riding aimlessly through the desert on a donkey. He is not hungry or thirsty, because he has a bottomless bowl of fruit. He wanders for about a week and eventually gets pretty horny. He gets to the point where he can't stand it anymore.
So he decides to try and have s*x with the donkey.
He drops his pants and positions himself under the donkey. But, to his dismay, the donkey walks away.
Only slightly discouraged, the man decides to try again. He walks to where the donkey is standing, positions himself under the donkey, and right before he goes for it, the donkey walks away again. Now the man is getting frustrated.
As he prepares for his third and final try, he sees a vision. A beautiful, naked woman appears out of nowhere. She approaches the stunned man, who until recently, believed that he was the only person for hundreds of miles.
She smiles at him and says, "I would do anything for that bowl of fruit you have."
"Anything?" he says, getting fairly excited.
"Yes, anything." she replies.
So he says, "Will you hold the donkey?"

If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so. ~ Thomas Jefferson

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post #72 of 72 (permalink) Old 08-24-2010, 05:20 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 27
I was going to tell a joke but then remembered that my work.history was also laughable

Here's a little bit about me......

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldnít concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldnít hack it, so they gave me the axe.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasnít suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldnít cut it.
Then I tried to be a chefĖfigured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didnít have the thyme.
Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldnít cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasnít noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didnít have any patients.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didnít fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldnít live on my net income.
Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasnít up to it.
So then I got a job in a gymnasium (work-out-center), but they said I wasnít fit for the job.
Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
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