In honor of all you college students - MMA Forum - UFC Forums - UFC Results - MMA Videos
The Lounge General off topic chat.

Reply

Old 09-01-2010, 05:33 AM   #1 (permalink)
The Forum Drunk
 
xeberus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,450
xeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Material
In honor of all you college students

I've decided to make a college thread. This thread is for all college stories, stereotypes, sexy encounters, morality lessons learned from college experiences etc.






The 7 Types of Parents You See on Move In Day

by Susanna Wolff yesterday




Oh look, dear. The room comes with a cork board. How quaint. It would be better if these walls weren't made of cinder block so you could hang up that Matisse print, but I suppose this will do. I mean, you'd think for the price we're paying that you could get a little parquet flooring, but alright. Do you need anything else? Ok, we're going to stand in the way of other people while you unpack without our help. We'll take a couple brief strolls down the hall to turn our noses up at the Bob Marley poster that unkempt boy is hanging in 12C. When you invite him to our home for Thanksgiving, we'll still only refer to him as "That Boy With the Long Hair."



We're so proud of you, honey. I would say I'm prouder, as illustrated by the fact that I'm paying your tuition, but that's neither here nor there. Haha! I'm so glad we could be together for your big day. We get to be tense and make everyone else on the floor really uncomfortable. It would have been better if we had taken separate cars so we wouldn't have to drive home together, but haha! No, I'm not making digs at your parenting style. If you think I'm such a bad parent, then why don't you just pay her tuition yourself. FINE! I'm going to storm off and leave you guys embarrassed, but oddly not embarrassed enough, while everyone else tries to avert his or her eyes. Good luck assembling that f*cking lamp yourselves!




Hi! Hi! Meet our child. Isn't this exciting? Oh, what lovely wall-to-wall carpeting! Have you met our child yet? This is going to be so much fun! We're going to be so effusively friendly to everyone on the floor that they won't be able to help feeling happier and more comfortable about this new stage of their lives. Unfortunately our child is going to be a huge sourpuss all day and he'll be endlessly needy all year. No one should go out drinking with this young man or they'll end up carrying him home! Ah, we love him anyway. We love everyone! What a lovely duvet you have! Have you met our child yet?




Wow, look at all of these renovations. It's great that they redid the bathrooms in the last 30 years, but it's a shame they had to get rid of that great avocado tiling. Do you remember that? Yeah, we used to call it the vomitorium. Haha! That was for different reasons then. We're going to tell lots of stories that will raise your expectations about how fun college will be to unrealistic proportions. Remember when Derk scaled the outside of the Tower? Oh, boy, we have really hyperbolized that story over time! He really just sat on a restricted fire escape once. Haha! Let's go frighten the other parents with these stories.



Don't worry about this uneven bed leg; the base of my hammer unscrews into 3 different screw drivers. Look at this fun door prop we brought. It looks like a little man holding open the door! Oh, no, no. Those blinds won't do. We've got extras in the car though. Does anyone else need new blinds? We brought four different sizes, just in case. Before we leave today, we will have moved every piece of furniture on the floor and three of the shower curtains. Uh-oh, the communal microwave's clock wasn't changed for daylight's savings. Let's take care of that and then set up the dust buster.



You can't smoke in the dorms? That's some crazy bullshit. You just toss a shower cap on that smoke detector thingy and you'll be good to go. We'll shout stuff like this in front of your RA, but that fruity twerp won't say anything. Right, Chang-Li, or whatever your name is? Baby, this is your KFC bucket, I got the one with extra sauce. We brought literally nothing useful for unpacking stuff at college and we still don't know how our kid got in, so we'll rely on the Gadget Parents to do everything until we finally leave without taking any of our garbage with us. Our weirdo egghead baby's in college!



We drove for 2 days to get here, so you best believe that we're staying all day, then spending the night at a hotel and coming back tomorrow. We will make it our goal to learn the name of every student and parent in this building before our child does. We'll ask about that girl whose dad stormed off on move-in day during every one of our thrice-weekly Skype sessions because, you know, it's really a shame that he couldn't have stayed to meet everyone. Oh, the RA wants the whole floor to play ice breakers? We'll come. Did you hear that? He doesn't want to be a bad guy. See? This is going to be so great.
__________________


If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so. ~ Thomas Jefferson


Sig by D.P.



xeberus is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 

Old 09-01-2010, 06:50 AM   #2 (permalink)
MMA Fanatic
 
TakedownKing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 85
TakedownKing is a splendid one to beholdTakedownKing is a splendid one to beholdTakedownKing is a splendid one to beholdTakedownKing is a splendid one to beholdTakedownKing is a splendid one to beholdTakedownKing is a splendid one to beholdTakedownKing is a splendid one to beholdTakedownKing is a splendid one to beholdTakedownKing is a splendid one to beholdTakedownKing is a splendid one to beholdTakedownKing is a splendid one to behold








TakedownKing is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2010, 10:14 AM   #3 (permalink)
Featherweight
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,221
xbrokenshieldx is on another level nowxbrokenshieldx is on another level nowxbrokenshieldx is on another level nowxbrokenshieldx is on another level nowxbrokenshieldx is on another level nowxbrokenshieldx is on another level nowxbrokenshieldx is on another level nowxbrokenshieldx is on another level nowxbrokenshieldx is on another level nowxbrokenshieldx is on another level nowxbrokenshieldx is on another level now
Wow. All of that is true in so many ways. I especially liked the parents piece!
__________________
Team Stand Alone #1
xbrokenshieldx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2010, 04:07 PM   #4 (permalink)
Curitiba Food and Liquor
 
swpthleg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 16,164
Blog Entries: 14
swpthleg Is Beyond A Rankings Systemswpthleg Is Beyond A Rankings Systemswpthleg Is Beyond A Rankings Systemswpthleg Is Beyond A Rankings Systemswpthleg Is Beyond A Rankings Systemswpthleg Is Beyond A Rankings Systemswpthleg Is Beyond A Rankings Systemswpthleg Is Beyond A Rankings Systemswpthleg Is Beyond A Rankings Systemswpthleg Is Beyond A Rankings Systemswpthleg Is Beyond A Rankings System
I would share some drunk stories, but they were all trumped by my dad before they ever happened.

When he was in college (at Keel, in Manchester) they didn't have any booze and all the liquor stores closed at 7 or so b/c it was England. So they mixed lab alcohol with orange juice. Mmmmmmmm, chemical-y!

L&M and I are totally going to be the "parents who went to that school." I would be beyond psyched if older Swplet went to Michigan State down the road. The nearest SUNY school to us is in Fredonia, which looks like a boring little town.
__________________

Sig Credit to Toxic
swpthleg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2010, 10:33 PM   #5 (permalink)
HiiiPoWeR
 
Rauno's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Estonia
Posts: 16,320
Rauno Is A God Among MenRauno Is A God Among MenRauno Is A God Among MenRauno Is A God Among MenRauno Is A God Among MenRauno Is A God Among MenRauno Is A God Among MenRauno Is A God Among MenRauno Is A God Among MenRauno Is A God Among MenRauno Is A God Among Men
This song describe's college life perfectly.

__________________
Rauno is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 09-04-2010, 01:47 AM   #6 (permalink)
Abusive
 
UrbanBounca's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,805
UrbanBounca is on another level nowUrbanBounca is on another level nowUrbanBounca is on another level nowUrbanBounca is on another level nowUrbanBounca is on another level nowUrbanBounca is on another level nowUrbanBounca is on another level nowUrbanBounca is on another level nowUrbanBounca is on another level nowUrbanBounca is on another level nowUrbanBounca is on another level now


Honestly, I whine about this all the time. College is about jumping through hurdles for your professor, nothing more.
UrbanBounca is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-04-2010, 09:10 AM   #7 (permalink)
The Forum Drunk
 
xeberus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,450
xeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Material
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rauno™ View Post
This song describe's college life perfectly.

god those were the best days of my life

Quote:
Originally Posted by UrbanBounca View Post


Honestly, I whine about this all the time. College is about jumping through hurdles for your professor, nothing more.
see the post above yours

and that piece of paper they give you after a bunch of years adds two inches to your wang in interviews
__________________


If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so. ~ Thomas Jefferson


Sig by D.P.



xeberus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-04-2010, 03:37 PM   #8 (permalink)
The Forum Drunk
 
xeberus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,450
xeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Materialxeberus Is Future HOF Material




__________________


If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so. ~ Thomas Jefferson


Sig by D.P.



xeberus is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are On

VerticalSports
Baseball Forum Golf Forum Boxing Forum Snowmobile Forum
Basketball Forum Soccer Forum MMA Forum PWC Forum
Football Forum Cricket Forum Wrestling Forum ATV Forum
Hockey Forum Volleyball Forum Paintball Forum Snowboarding Forum
Tennis Forum Rugby Forums Lacrosse Forum Skiing Forums
Copyright (C) Verticalscope Inc SEO by vBSEO 3.3.2
Powered by vBulletin Copyright 2000-2009 Jelsoft Enterprises Limited.
vBCredits v1.4 Copyright ©2007, PixelFX Studios