haha okay, don't know if this is that bad but first thing that came to my mind. Don't judge me.
MMA club Christmas night out, we go to a club that is completely empty. Me and my friends start doing some crazy dances, all is going well. Then I start on the shots. Steaming I look up, see my friend, who has a penchant for settling on fat girls when he is drunk and lazy finger, banging a fat girl against a wall. So in my wisdom I thought it would be funny to run over, pull his fingers out and start licking/sucking them. The girl runs out the club horrified and and embarrassed. My club start killing themselves laughing. Then my girlfriend comes over unaware and we start kissing. My club starts laughing more and then I tell her why thinking it's not a big deal. She disagrees and stops talking to me.
End result, a funny drunken story that has landed me with the MMA nick name Dave "The Colonel" Anderson, when people ask why my friends always say "cause he likes it finger lickin' good".
That is disgusting and awesome
This story is along those same lines. I was 23 I believe and still living with my mother. My gf at the time and I had been at the bar for 3-4 hours taking shots, mixed drinks, beers, etc. She was very wild. She goes stumbling out of the joint as I pay the tab. By the time I get out to the car she has her shirt off and is lying on the curb tits on display.
I get her into the car and unzip the pants, she goes to work. I decide I'm liking it so when we get close to my house I just continue driving around the block for 8-10 minutes as she works. Pull in the drive, get upstairs to my room and we go at it. Stripping, kissing, panting, and all.
I'm undoing her pants when she tries to stop me. I look up and she says that she's on her period. I just shrug and continue what I'm doing. Get the pants off and pull the drawstring, extracting the soaked barrier and go to work. Little bit later I'm now plugging away and she got her hand down there playing around. Next thing I knew she's got her hand between our mouths as we're kissing.
That was the first time I saw a girl get her own redwings
The next morning my mom says "you need to put a pillow between the bed and the wall and tell that girl that she's not the only person staying here" Talk about embarrassed.