Most of my drunk stories are more scary than funny. I remember one time when I was partying a two hour drive away from home and I remember... well I think I remember lying down and falling asleep there. The next thing I remember is waking up in my own bed. To this day I don't know how I got home.
One time I found out that "in my pants" jokes actually work on 1 out of 20 drunk chicks. Then I fell asleep after third base.
I've got at least two more I can think of right now but first I need to get some food.