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Old 03-30-2007, 01:22 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Exclamation NEWS - Josh Burkman looks like a Fetus!

It's been on my mind since ufc 61. Now sit tight and visualize, I'll do all the work for you my friend.

1. Take 3 deep breaths, in through your nose (hold for 5 seconds), and now out through your mouth (release slowly).

2. Relax your body and your mind, if there are still lingering thoughts repeat step 1 until you feel slightly lightheaded. A natural high for the masses young one.

Clear your mind, thoughtless you are...


weightless you are...


empty you will be...


you are the air that floats around you...


you are an entity of yourself, a transparent
cloud hovering around your human form...


the waves fade in, they settle in like sweet audio euphoria...


you are now reading this with your eyes closed...


bamboo trees, the smell is nostalgic...


a purple haze mists through the air...


your lungs are full, now release your lungs of this haze like a melodic wind in a disney movie... (mainly Pocohontas)


Love, harmony, spirt, unity, one body, one soul, one love, you exist, but you're not there... parallel to reality your body floats.

You've done well young one... now picture a field

A woman of middle age lives on...

She stands facing the sky as the lightblue atmosphere is quickly covered by dark rain clouds, the sky becomes gray with streaks of sunlight breaking through like a laser show...


dead silence...

the purest form of muted audio circulates through out earth as if it has reached it's final rotation...

a slimy being slides quickly out of the woman's womb and plops onto the grass like a fish...

the woman disappears into the air as a thunderstorm brews the darkened sky...

the being slowly stands up at 5' 10'' scared, cold, and naked clearing out his eyes with his newborn hands...

You hover over this being and rise into the sky as your vision of this man shrinks to a tiny dot...

(Lion King theme song plays)

The clouds disappear and the sky is the bluest it has ever been, the grass shines green, Josh Burkman realizes his purpose and there's a bright white FLASH!


You are back in your body now... your eyes are full of wisdom and elightenment.. you are the elite, you've seen all.

and myself? you've learned all I can teach you. (*EXPLODES*)
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