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Old 05-03-2007, 10:38 AM   #1 (permalink)
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MMA Cannibalism

Barely a day goes by without someone asking me "I.P. Freely, in the event of an emergency such as a plane crash, which MMA star would you eat, in order to survive? And, how would you cook him?"

Fortunately I have had some time to polish my response. My initial answer was that I would cook and eat Andre Alrovski, probably as steaks, served with potato salad. But then I realized that he would be too tough. So I thought Tim Sylvia, probably in a casserole or hotpot of some kind. I thought that he would be pretty fatty, which would absorb the flavours of the vegetables and seasoning. But he is probably too fatty- I don't like a casserole with a think layer of oil on the top, and there is also the issue of him soiling himself.

Luke Cummo would be a good choice, maybe in some kind of healthy salad with parmesan cheese. I like his fine vegan diet, except that I am not sure about him drinking his own piss. I think that would make him a bit tart. Also a bit scrawny.

In the end I think you want a big guy but one who is not too tough and not too fatty either. So, to this end I think either Big Nog, Josh Barnett or Fedor. In the end I will go for Fedor, because he is so good at everything, he would probably make the best snack food.

But how to cook and serve the greatest and most dominant fighter in MMA history? I am still not sure. Any advice would be welcome.
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Old 05-03-2007, 01:39 PM   #2 (permalink)
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i'd eat mark kerr, i bet he's fruit-flavored.
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Old 05-03-2007, 01:42 PM   #3 (permalink)
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whats wrong with you?
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Old 05-03-2007, 01:50 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by southpaw447
whats wrong with you?
He's hungry??
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Old 05-03-2007, 04:08 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Daaaamnn....Thats some nasty schite
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Old 05-03-2007, 07:39 PM   #6 (permalink)
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This is sick but hilarious at the same time. I dont even know why its funny but it made me laugh.
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Old 05-03-2007, 07:59 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Eating humans is always hilarious. I would skin them alive and feast on their organs shortly after wards. I don't believe in cooking humans, I think it's cruel. Eat them alive.

I normally eat unborn fetuses from the abortion clinic, that way they don't go to waste.
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Old 05-03-2007, 08:01 PM   #8 (permalink)
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If you re eating humans, might as well eat them alive.
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Old 05-03-2007, 08:18 PM   #9 (permalink)
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LOL good thread, it had potential to be the worst thread ever, but you somehow made it good.

rep.
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Old 05-03-2007, 08:24 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Have we run out of things to talk about?
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