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Old 07-14-2008, 10:43 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by swpthleg View Post
Spar lots and lots.
The first time I sparred, I was shaking like a leaf. I still get kind of twitchy and jumpy on fight nights at my dojang, but it's more out of anticipation because i know i'm going to enjoy myself so much. I'm not scared of sparring any more, I just have the healthy fear that helps me to protect myself.
Yeah, when I started training and sparred for the first time, I thought I could hang with anybody in there because I knew my ability and knowledge... against a bag. Then I was so busy trying to get past that new feeling of leather in the face, I couldn't do much more than cover up. That brings up a tip... Don't wear contacts while sparring. I'm legally blind without them, but it's better to box a blur than spar with watery eyes and contacts flopping out of your eyes. Anyway, I eventually got used to getting hit in the face. It just takes time.
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Old 07-14-2008, 05:43 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Again, though I am just as fond a proponent of sparring as anyone else here in this thread, I must emphasize that stressing the need to spar would probably be missing the point in the TS initial post. I really don't think a healthy fear of confrontation is a bad thing. Discretion does exist for a reason.
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Old 07-14-2008, 06:00 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I don't know, it's never good to be a doormat, and if you get scared and back down anythime someone confronts you you will become one.

One thing I have learned is that most people are all talk and react with a mixture of shock and terror if things actually do get physical. It's not exactly something you can rely on though.

Also it only applies to sober situations, everyone is Mike Tyson when they get a few pints into them.
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Old 07-14-2008, 07:08 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I understand. But to clarify, when I mention "discretion" I in no way even infer "passivity." Just as it is a sad shame to back down to the shadow of every physical confrontation, I believe it is just foolish to rush headlong in the light of a possible confrontation.

While fearlessness and a quick will to fight will serve you consistently well in a sparring session or a match, it can get you (and your companions) killed rather quickly outside the controlled confines of the ring/cage. In that regards we have to keep in mind that the TS said absolutely nothing about meeting another trained fighter for a match.

In that context, I am not condemning sparring. I am simply reminding the TS that his "anxiety" is there for good reason. The pre-historic, subconscious, reptilian side of our brain will always produce a "fight or flight" response if a situation comes up. It is up to us to use the evolved, conscious, and cognizant part of our human brain to decide accordingly. In that regard, discarding one over the other doesn't lend itself to longevity or prosperity.
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Old 07-15-2008, 01:33 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Onganju View Post
I understand. But to clarify, when I mention "discretion" I in no way even infer "passivity." Just as it is a sad shame to back down to the shadow of every physical confrontation, I believe it is just foolish to rush headlong in the light of a possible confrontation.

While fearlessness and a quick will to fight will serve you consistently well in a sparring session or a match, it can get you (and your companions) killed rather quickly outside the controlled confines of the ring/cage. In that regards we have to keep in mind that the TS said absolutely nothing about meeting another trained fighter for a match.

In that context, I am not condemning sparring. I am simply reminding the TS that his "anxiety" is there for good reason. The pre-historic, subconscious, reptilian side of our brain will always produce a "fight or flight" response if a situation comes up. It is up to us to use the evolved, conscious, and cognizant part of our human brain to decide accordingly. In that regard, discarding one over the other doesn't lend itself to longevity or prosperity.
Definitely agree with that. Always try to defuse the situation. I used to get afraid when confronted too, but now I just keep in mind to always look for a peaceful solution. In the back of my mind, I know I can deal with them if it comes down to physical confrontation, but I really think that 99% of the time that can be avoided, as long as you keep your ego and pride in check.
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Old 07-20-2008, 11:48 AM   #16 (permalink)
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yea thats natural but u cant let it cripple you. I for one LOVE confrontation but i used to get real nervous. after so many fights the nervousness gave way to anticipation, and that gave way to excitement. I still havent been in the cage but i boxed for some years. I think sparring with someone better than you will help a lot. Also try to have more confidence that helps too, its okay to be cocky sometimes...and fun!
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Old 07-20-2008, 02:04 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I guess my concern is what will happen if I ever get into another confrontation, how can I overcome my near crippling anxiety?
Anger is the easy answer, but not the best one. Angry fighters get killed some of the time.

Personally, I find that practice is the only substitute for that warrior spirit that makes us comfortable in conflict.

I've done alot of jiu-jitsu competitions and judo and wrestling and MMA, and the more I compete the more I realize that my opponent is just another guy, he's just a man.

My coach, who's a world class jiu-jitsu competitor, once told me that when he gets jitters he just reminds himself that his opponent is not as good as he is, and that confidence keeps him going.
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Old 07-21-2008, 12:08 AM   #18 (permalink)
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i have to disagree with the above post. Everybody has natural rage impulses and adrenaline surges, it's a question of channeling and unleashing it effectively.
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Old 07-21-2008, 01:31 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by ManCrusher View Post
Some people just arent fighters, you can train and spar all you want but you have to deal with what you got. It also has a lot to do with how you were brought up.

Find a different hobby
This is the stupidest post I've seen in the training forums.

There are fighters who don't like getting punched in the face, we call them grapplers.

There are fighters who don't have the aggression problems that many pro fighters do, we call them the good ones.

If you think that the fear of confrontation is inborn, than you're stupid and don't know a damn thing about psychology.

If you think that the fear of confrontation cannot be dealt with than you're just f*cking nuts.

Some people like getting hit. Some people like the visceral nature of the sport. Some people like other elements.

I have days when I like going toe-to-toe and testing myself that way. I have days when I like coming home pretty. I've never had a severe fear of confrontation, but I have friends who do, and some of them are solid competitors.
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Old 07-21-2008, 04:40 AM   #20 (permalink)
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I used to have nightmares where I'd be fighting to protect my family or a friend, and when I'd throw a punch, I'd put everything I had into it, and it would brush the guy's face with little or no force. I'd get beat up and there was nothing I could do to defend them or myself. It kind of makes me think of "Dragon" the Bruce Lee story, where he has to fight his demon. When I started sparring, I realized how much power I really had. I still get that feeling sometimes, like this guy is just too good, but like Iron Man said, he's just a guy, and I can beat him. That helps my confidence a lot. Plus, I don't mind going home with knots, cuts and bruises. The lady loves it.

Actually, she hates it, but somehow it works out for me.

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