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Old 06-27-2008, 01:44 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Conquering the fear of confrontation

I'm a pretty decent sized guy with moderate "fight" training, and I'm fairly strong.

5'11"
210 lbs
Bench - 340 lbs
Squat - 315 lbs (knee troubles prevent me going very heavy)
Deadlift - around 400 pre-pulled back muscle

Anyway, I've been interested in martial arts my entire life. I've dabbled in Tae Kwon do and boxing. I train twice a week on the heavy bag, mainly focusing on punching and kicking technique. I have pretty quick hands and decent kicks.

I feel that I could get the best of most non-trained fighters. But here's my problem: I've always had a problem with confrontation. As soon as I'm confronted by someone I clam up, for lack of better words. I get nervous, start shaking (slightly), my knees get weak, and my voice trembles. It has nothing to do with fear or not having confidence in my abilities. I could be confronted by a 12 year-old anorexic girl and the same thing would happen.

I've only been in one fight, and when push-came-to-shove, I guess my instincts took over and I ended up roundhouse kicking the guy, ala Chuck Norris, like four times and the fight was over. The guy never had time to throw a second punch. The thing happened so fast that I never had time to get nervous.

I guess my concern is what will happen if I ever get into another confrontation, how can I overcome my near crippling anxiety?
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Old 06-27-2008, 05:15 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cardinalfanUSA View Post
I'm a pretty decent sized guy with moderate "fight" training, and I'm fairly strong.

5'11"
210 lbs
Bench - 340 lbs
Squat - 315 lbs (knee troubles prevent me going very heavy)
Deadlift - around 400 pre-pulled back muscle

Anyway, I've been interested in martial arts my entire life. I've dabbled in Tae Kwon do and boxing. I train twice a week on the heavy bag, mainly focusing on punching and kicking technique. I have pretty quick hands and decent kicks.

I feel that I could get the best of most non-trained fighters. But here's my problem: I've always had a problem with confrontation. As soon as I'm confronted by someone I clam up, for lack of better words. I get nervous, start shaking (slightly), my knees get weak, and my voice trembles. It has nothing to do with fear or not having confidence in my abilities. I could be confronted by a 12 year-old anorexic girl and the same thing would happen.

I've only been in one fight, and when push-came-to-shove, I guess my instincts took over and I ended up roundhouse kicking the guy, ala Chuck Norris, like four times and the fight was over. The guy never had time to throw a second punch. The thing happened so fast that I never had time to get nervous.

I guess my concern is what will happen if I ever get into another confrontation, how can I overcome my near crippling anxiety?
Alcohol..........J/K........Join a gym and do some sparring......After you get hit a couple times and get a feel for the competion your body will relax because your mind knows what to expect....Plus you have a good idea whre you stand as well
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Old 06-27-2008, 05:34 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I'm the same way...I just thought it was normal.
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Old 06-30-2008, 12:20 PM   #4 (permalink)
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bro im the same way. im 6'2 and lean 215 but i still never like to fight or be confronted. I never get pissed off or cant hit that switch. I have been in many street or bar fights but all were' deffensive. But ive been training MMA for over a yr now and once in the ring i still get like that. Its just your mind set. thats all... training, sparring and keeping that poise is what wins fights.
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Old 06-30-2008, 12:32 PM   #5 (permalink)
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training will help that feeling alot. Once you start sparring it will get alot easier. For me the feeling never really went away, just got less intence.
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Old 06-30-2008, 12:47 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cardinalfanUSA View Post
I'm a pretty decent sized guy with moderate "fight" training, and I'm fairly strong.

5'11"
210 lbs
Bench - 340 lbs
Squat - 315 lbs (knee troubles prevent me going very heavy)
Deadlift - around 400 pre-pulled back muscle

Anyway, I've been interested in martial arts my entire life. I've dabbled in Tae Kwon do and boxing. I train twice a week on the heavy bag, mainly focusing on punching and kicking technique. I have pretty quick hands and decent kicks.

I feel that I could get the best of most non-trained fighters. But here's my problem: I've always had a problem with confrontation. As soon as I'm confronted by someone I clam up, for lack of better words. I get nervous, start shaking (slightly), my knees get weak, and my voice trembles. It has nothing to do with fear or not having confidence in my abilities. I could be confronted by a 12 year-old anorexic girl and the same thing would happen.

I've only been in one fight, and when push-came-to-shove, I guess my instincts took over and I ended up roundhouse kicking the guy, ala Chuck Norris, like four times and the fight was over. The guy never had time to throw a second punch. The thing happened so fast that I never had time to get nervous.

I guess my concern is what will happen if I ever get into another confrontation, how can I overcome my near crippling anxiety?
Martial arts/MMA training and a public speaking course. And no, I'm not kidding about the second one.
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Old 06-30-2008, 04:36 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Heres the thing, once you get out there and like other said "spar" you will lose some of anxiety because you'll have a better idea of what to expect.
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Old 06-30-2008, 05:49 PM   #8 (permalink)
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what is the reason for anxiety.
are you afraid of getting your ass kicked or is there something else ?
i don;t like it either, usually if shit like that happen, i in the background am thinking if it's worth it to fight.
if it is then there is no need for any extra words/confrontations and ass must be kicked the sooner the better. same thing if you don't want but there is no choice.

try to feel confident and realize that you can kick most ass with ease - and if anything people should be afraid of you and have anxiety and shit.
Quote:
5'11"
210 lbs
should be pretty scary.
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Old 06-30-2008, 08:53 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Spar lots and lots.
The first time I sparred, I was shaking like a leaf. I still get kind of twitchy and jumpy on fight nights at my dojang, but it's more out of anticipation because i know i'm going to enjoy myself so much. I'm not scared of sparring any more, I just have the healthy fear that helps me to protect myself.
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Old 07-03-2008, 04:10 PM   #10 (permalink)
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While I am definitely an advocate for sparring, I think you should look into a ref Self-Defense courses. Especially those that emphasize environmental awareness, and discretion (like the type they use for Firearms Safety training). I think the "fear of confrontation" you are feeling is something that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Likewise, learning how to disregard it can be life threatening.

While I can clearly attest to being willing to step into a sparring session at the Academy at drop of the hat, I would be weary of being "confronted by a 12 year-old anorexic girl" also. While I know full well that I may get beaten up while sparring (and I have jumped into sparring sessions expecting - and receiving - exactly that), I have no idea what this person in front of me has in store and that is unnerving for a very good reason.

The large difference being that even if I get put in a bad way at the hands of my training partners at the academy, I know they aren't going to hurt me overtly. While an anorexic 12 year-old girl may not be shit to me if she throws on the gloves, I don't know if she's got a knife, I don't know if she's got a gun, or I don't know she's got a group of her buddies or family members right around the corner/across the street waiting to jump on me and stomp me into the pavement. While my sparring partners don't intend to do me grievous bodily harm, I can not say that goes for XYZ person out on the street.

At times like this, I always mention Alex Gong. While fearless and more capable than the majority of the people on earth in a fight, his lack of discretion cost him his life when he pursued a guy who hit his car. While confronting the man he was shot point-blank in the chest. While sparring will help lessen fear, it does not instill a large level of discretion. Even as martial artists who are confident in facing fear, you can not servive long in this world if choosing to forego discretion.
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