Did a BJJ class! First class I've done since the concussion and I'm testing the waters. I felt pretty weak most of the class and started getting dizzy right after the warm up. It's manageable, but I think I have a bit of a road ahead of me before I fight again.
The good news is I am itching to fight again, the daydreams are returning and I've clued in that a normal life still feels pretty boring. Miss training. Jiu jitsu the most. I went to the event I was supposed to fight at this past weekend. The guy who beat me for my first loss defeated the guy that I was supposed to be fighting that night in a tough battle.
I'm moving out of town at the end of the month, I'll be closer to my old gym in the hometown and I'll be popping in there more often as I get myself back into shape. I'll also be logging the mileage to drop in at other gyms for classes or more importantly sparring when I'm good to go again.
On a larger scale, I'll likely only do a few more fights. I've come far along enough on this journey to know that it's not in my path to make it to a high level. Sounds like a bit of a defeatist attitude, but I don't feel its anything less than realistic. I'm not naturally athletic, I don't learn particularily fast, I'm not very coordinated, I have shitty natural vision, my will is far from unbreakable, and I don't have any financial backing. The game gets tighter and tougher every year, the talent pool grows exponentially. With that said, if I stayed on my grind and really applied myself for the next 10 years or so, I think I could make it decently far as a journeyman. However, fighting is devouring. That's an incredibly dedicated path that would be riddled with risk; injuries, financial strain, brain damage, etc. In the end you have to think about what you want out of life. These things are manageable for awhile, and I've enjoyed the challenges, but is it something you want to make a life out of? Do you want to live above the minimum income?Buy a house one day? Have a comfortable career? A family? To travel? To party, drink, and eat? To have a healthy body and clear mind? All that stuff has to be on the backburner to get far.
It's really okay too, you don't need a meteoric rise to the top to get something valuable out of the sport. My intent going into it was largely just as a personal test for myself growing up as a shy, unathletic kid. I'm in fantastic shape, more confident, have formed lifelong hobbies, can obviously defend myself, met some awesome and inspiring people, got a healthy taste and new respect for a sport I'm a huge fan of, and have some of my own attention and glory. I figured if you're not in school in your 20's, you should at least be doing something interesting with yourself while you can.
Anyways, that's my livejournal post of the year, back to the grind.