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post #1211 of 1511 (permalink) Old 05-03-2012, 06:57 PM Thread Starter
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More Bjj

Tech was armbar, drilled guard passes, rolled a purple back and forth. Rolled another purple belt just had fun and flowed.
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post #1212 of 1511 (permalink) Old 05-04-2012, 01:08 AM Thread Starter
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Alright, so it's 3 weeks in and I feel pretty obligated to do a write up. Since I've already been to Brazil and logged it (around posts #600,700ish), I'm not really coming into it with the same sense of wonder as last time. For example yesterday our house got invaded by a couple monkeys (they're like squirrels here) that ventured in looking for bananas and then couldn't figure out how to get back outside through the big glass windows. Actually, I'll probably talk about any monkey shenanigans because they're pretty ******* cool. But I can't write about everything and do a crash course from an outsider perspective. I don't really do this to entertain people (sorry guys, tough love), I just like to record what I want when I want. Rio is a big, foreign, beautiful ******* place. I've settled right back into where I left off, got my slight grasp on the language (enough to get around, order food, say hi, ask girls if they speak english) . My days are spent sleeping in way too late, going to the beach when it's sunny, training in the evening, and staying up too late on the internet because I can't sleep. The inbetween time is mostly bullshitting and planning what when and where we're going to eat.

I guess I should write about the characters of the house. I'll stick to my dorm room because everyone else I don't know well enough and it's kind of creepy that I write about them on the internet. But my roomies can deal with it (one has access to this journal so now I have to be all nice and shit).

Adam AKA Handsome boy AKA THE DRAGON

Adam is a studly young man from the land of America, he enjoys things like stretching, slicing coconuts mid-air with machetes, and attending to his dangerously good looks. He was formerly a Jehovah's Witness but seems to have come out of the closet, needless to say. The Dragon came to Brazil only to (ironically in his last week or two) succumb to love. He extended his stay for another two weeks but has only become more stricken with his classy Brazilian lady. We say 'classy' to bother him because he used the word at some point in describing what he looks for in girls, but the two of them actually hit it off sometime around 3am sucking face in a mist filled club dance floor. Don't worry Dragon, it happens to the best of us. Adam is a young, innocent, friendly and well intentioned young white belt, who brings swagger and charm to the house. It's going to suck when he leaves next week. Adam is pestered constantly by the older brother of the dorm room, Sheeha.

Sheeha AKA Norwegian with a weird name AKA The worst wingman ever

Sheeha is a charismatic man hailing from Norway, his interests include nerding out on Diablo 2, charmingly making fun of all of us, and maintaining a healthy supply of homo-eroticism in the house. We don't have a nickname for Sheeha, which is probably because he's the one that gives out nicknames. I don't want to say that Sheeha is the assumed leader, because he's going to read this and I don't want him to feel that good about himself...but he's the older brother in a sense. Always talking nonsense, mocking The Dragon... I think he gets an unfair advantage in being funny as hell because everything's in this cheery Norwegian accent. Sheeha has proven to be the worst wingman ever. He's ever confident, good looking, etc..Gets TONS of looks from Brazilian girls, but he pays them ZERO attention, instead sending me or The Dragon in with all the pressure. I guess it could be worse. I'm just bitter because he won't assist me on this perfect double date that fell right into our laps, I'll explain that later. Sheeha is a very talented purple belt and if his muay thai skills are anywhere near his BJJ, he's going to give someone a very bad night on his first MMA fight.

Montana Mike AKA The Housefather AKA Randy

Montana Mike is a white belt who predictably Hails from Montana. I don't really know what he likes to do because he's not in the common room with us. Chances are he's in his private quarters meticulously masturbating away. Oh, but Montana has a girlfriend here in Brazil, so he's not only masturbating more than all of us combined, he's getting laid too. Mike's been here awhile, he seems to have a good setup back home that allows him to make money and stay out here at his leisure. I'm jealous as hell. Mike's prolonged presence in the house has lent him the nickname "The Housefather". He got the Randy one because Sheeha was making fun of him when he was standing around with pants and no shirt on all the time. You have to be a Trailer Park Boys fan to catch the reference, though I don't think it's a very fair nickname because he doesn't have the gut for it. Mike's also the Housefather because he convieniently has everything you could need. When I locked my keys in my locker, who had a hacksaw for me to saw the lock off? The Housefather. Who arranged my first night out and that fateful night for The Dragon to meet his classy lady? The Housefather. I laughed when I first heard that Montana Mike buys viagra over the counter here, but over time it's turned into a pretty fantastic idea that I might have to try for the experience.

Mike AKA Crazy Mike AKA Kenny

Crazy Mike is a source of stress, amusement, and uncertainty. Crazy Mike smokes a ton of marijuana but always talks about quitting. Crazy Mike gets paranoid as hell, always worrying about getting shot by the police or which housemate wants to fight him. He's also a heatseeking missile threatening Brazilian women's personal space anywhere and everywhere. Seriously, take him to the beach, the mall, the bus, whatever, and just watch him go. More than once Kenny has asked me if I'd **** a whore, if he and I could **** a whore, or if I would at least just film him while he does it. Most interactions with him leave you seriously considering which parts are real and which parts he's just messing with you, but the longer I stay the more I lean to the former. My strategy for living with Crazy Mike bounces between embracing and encouraging him and avoidance. He drives the house managers crazy.

Okay, it's 2am and that's more than I've written in months combined. Next I will probably describe the pros and cons of courting a Brazilian woman while I'm in the middle of it.

Rereading this I realized how shallow and college boy this sounds so far. I swear there's more to me and more to the trip than chasing girls, that just seems to be a good common ground to start on.
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post #1213 of 1511 (permalink) Old 05-04-2012, 03:39 PM Thread Starter
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Going out to a brazilian costume party tonight (I'm a G in a Gi). Did solo drills so the day isn't a total write off, stealing drills from a youtube video. Will post later.

Nit doing everything, just starting with the ones I'm familiar with.

2min rounds 1min rest

Leg Circles
Sit Outs
Bridge to sides
Sit Arounds
Hip pops
Knee jump ups
Hip drive thus
Shrimp turns
Ab plank forwards/sides
Neck bridges forwards/backward/headstand
Upside down towel smother
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post #1214 of 1511 (permalink) Old 05-04-2012, 07:06 PM Thread Starter
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Plans got cancelled, went to go training instead but I had kept my calories really low today in anticipation of drinking tonight. Was pre exhausted and underfed and felt like crap. Technique was a sort of sickle sweep from double sleeve control. Rolling I was a write off and almost left early, stuck through it instead. Had god mount/back control on a smaller blue, stalemate with a brown, smashed by two purples. Rest.
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post #1215 of 1511 (permalink) Old 05-06-2012, 10:55 PM Thread Starter
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A few little treats.

My last gym back home was at Mamba MMA. I was only there for a month or two because I hated that town, the gym wasn't a fit, and I was still feeling bad off the concussion. Anyways, Kultar, the head of the gym just had a good showing after a long layoff at SFL 3 in India. Video here:

He also had an epic post fight, lots of jummping, yelling, slamming of microphones and SFL employees. Kajan laughing and trying to restrain him. What a guy.

In local house news, there was some mma fights going on nearby on friday, I didn't go but a few people from the house did. This gem of a thread popped up shortly thereafter on sherdogs main forum

Poor OP is such a nice, quiet guy from Germany. Sherdog was hilariously relentless. Always amusing when real life and internet collides.
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post #1216 of 1511 (permalink) Old 05-07-2012, 12:37 AM Thread Starter
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Enter Rebecca.

Rebecca is a walking checklist of things I like. Let's review:

-Brazilian brunette, gorgeous with excellent assets
-Sweet to me but I'm catching whiffs of fieryness and attitude, something that's much hotter when it's a cultural thing
-19 y/o, young but not creepy young
-Friendly, speaks just enough english to get by on, and little enough that it's cute and teaching is an easy point of conversation
- Going to school for a degree in law
- Likes me, with the generous PDA that Brazil is famous for

I know, right?

I met Rebecca at the beach. That day me and Sheeha were super amped to hit the scene because we had just purchased matching sungas aka speedos a few days earlier with Crazy Mike...we tried to get one for The Dragon but they ran out of XL's...I had this vision of all of us in matching sungas+ sunglasses strutting down the beach like Resevoir Dogs meets LMFAO's Sexy and I Know It).

So of course we oil up and roll out, find a spot and start working on my somewhat-coming-along tan. Being a naturally astute observer of things, I began scouting for scenery. Soon a pair of girls came around handing out juice boxes to everyone (not in bathing suits, they were the classy kind of promotional girls).

"Here we go, we've got some potential"
"Found something?" Sheeha asks.
"Ya this brunette is killing me.... whyyy won't you come over heeeeeeere ?"
"Maybe your creepy vibe is keeping them away." he says Norwegianly.
"Whatever, man."

Finally they give us some juice, which is ******* delicious and made from grapes and for a moment it amazes me that vendors can keep things so nice and cold on a beach in Rio de Janeiro with just the technologies of a styrofoam box. I desperately reach for juice related conversation. How do I open it (don't laugh, there was no straw involved), where can I buy it, etc. After as they leave I ask them to come back with more. Whatever, I just like the juice, okay?

They come back again with more juice. I attempt more conversation in english, but they're pretty stand offish and have to talk to eachother to decide what the **** this gringo is saying and how to respond. Sheeha leaves me to my own devices, headphones in and completely oblivious to my aspirations flushing down the drain...something flicks in the back of my mind and accusations of the world's worst wingman begin to come to a simmer. Soon they leave and I watch just thinking "Damn, that was my second chance that I'm watching walk away right now."

Girls are generally very friendly and approachable in Brazil. I knew this already but it's hard to internalize and flip the switch when you've just left home. Like normally in that situation and from the overall vibe I was getting, it would have been creepy to ask them for their info. Maybe not creepy, but forced and desperate. I don't like it. Of course it's much easier out here to pull it off, but everyone uses the same cliches. I hate doing the same gringo thing to every girl I see. "Oi! I don't speak portuguese! Fala ingles?? Do you have facebook?" etc... This bleeding heart needs something a little more genuine and less invasive. I also have recently successfuly institutionalized the strategy of never chasing girls (back in Canada) and just letting things come to me. I thought with the timeframe of Brazil I was going to have to break my new rules and make something happen.

Looks like I didn't. Her friend comes back "Oh, we forgot to give you this." It's a grape juice pamphlet. A grape juice pamphlet with two full names, and a phone number.

I shake my head at the everything-just-works-outness of it all, pop my headphones back in and allow the shit eating grin to settle onto my face for the rest of the day.

Last edited by illmatic; 05-07-2012 at 12:39 AM.
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post #1217 of 1511 (permalink) Old 05-07-2012, 07:24 PM Thread Starter
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Another week begins. Technique was three variations of the torreando pass. Rolled a brown belt and passed his guard! He reguarded eventually but won the round on points =p Purple belt beat me as usual, two taps. Must study guard pass options for half butterfly guard. Rolled a small blue belt girl, just rolled light. Rolled a goodbrown belt and survived well only tapped once or twice, escaped a bad position by the end.

Dennis was saying he might start up his afternoon drilling class, which would be a godsed for me because his classes are wild technique/cardio sessions that helped alot last time.

Last edited by illmatic; 05-07-2012 at 07:28 PM.
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post #1218 of 1511 (permalink) Old 05-08-2012, 02:23 PM Thread Starter
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One Leg Squat 20,20,20
Dip 11,10,10
Pullup 6,4,3
Chinup 6,5,4
Decline Situp 15,15,15
Reverse Crunch 10,10,10
Inverted Row 10,10,10
Hyper Extension 15,15,15

Exercises are out of order, too lazy to rearrange on a tablet. First set was a circuit, second resorted to supersets of 2-3, last run through was pretty much oneat a time. Started feeling post concussion shit for the first time in awhile, nausea, dizziness, etc. Not much choice but to keep attacking it at this point, maybe try eating more beforehand. BJJ in a few hours will suck.
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post #1219 of 1511 (permalink) Old 05-08-2012, 07:26 PM Thread Starter
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Today was my mission to pass a purple belt nemesis' half butterfly guard that always beats me. I studied some passes, tried it out before class. Of course he wasn't training today.

Tech was stand up to break closed guard, dive into double unders on the legs, trap and lift onto your knees, pressure them, cross collar grip and butt grip, shrug past legs.

Guard passes then rolling. I forget my first round...maybe I only did three. Got dummied and helped along by a black belt who pushes me really hard and points out my mistakes, tapped to a collar choke from back. Rolled a brown, the one I guard passed yesterday, this time from side control he turtled and I got his back, bow and arrow choke for my second tap of the trip. Another brown belt got dummied me trying to pass his guard, tapped to one arm bar and the rest of the round was survival mode to various armsbars, triangles, and omoplatas. Sheeha was watching this round, pointed out my poor posture, always leaving my arms out, and told me to use standing guard passes more. More specifically he showed me from standing to drive a knee to the mat and step over and basically just sit on their leg to take half guard. If I can get the hang of that I'll be passing much more guards.
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post #1220 of 1511 (permalink) Old 05-10-2012, 12:07 AM
Curitiba Food and Liquor
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Best life-in-Brazil posts so far. I've wanted to go for years anyway, b/c my brother loved it so much (he went to Rio and Recife, on two different occasions) but now it's on my bucket list.

"Meticulously masturbating" LMAOOO although I have no idea what that may actually mean.

"Maybe your creepy vibe is keeping them away" certainly does not reflect well on a potential wingman. I'd say he is living up to his other nickname.

Sig Credit to Toxic
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