Originally Posted by Breadfan
The whole point of the routine is to kill myself every day. I'm super emo like that
Thank you for the laugh, definitely gave me a good one.
Anyway, if that dog food idea works out and is pretty durable try some heavy bag twirls. Essentially deadlifting the bag up and throwing the bag in the air (starting out, 90 degrees, moving to 180 degree throws, and so on). It will really work your core as well as a full body workout, working towards functional strength. I tried looking for a Youtube video trying to show an example, but no such luck. Also could try doing some judo throws (hip toss) with a durable bag (weighted).
Good luck, and wish I had someone to go through some workouts like that.