I'll preface this by saying that I've never been one to get into the whole weird, ongoing preoccupation with Steven Seagal that the sport of mixed martial arts seems to have going for it. But sometimes, in situations like this, it's hard to ignore.
Back in August, UFC Hall of Famer Randy Couture made a half-joking comment about how the only person he would come out of retirement to fight would be Seagal. People chuckled and forgot about it, and a couple months passed until Seagal was able to offer a response, which he just so happened to do on yesterday's edition of The MMA Hour.
"First of all, I am a martial artist, and I have been a martial artist all my life," Seagal started. "I've been fighting all my life, and I believe that the essence of learning how to fight, and fighting, and being a warrior and martial artist is to try to overcome the negative qualities that we all inherent as people, and become a better person, and to help others and help the world be a better place."
"That being said," he continued. "I really have to kind of wonder what his intentions and motivations may have been in saying that. I always thought that Randy was my friend and a gentleman. I'm kind of confused as to why he would say that. All I can say is, I'm here. Anybody can find me anytime and anyplace. If Randy really wants to fight me, he can fight me anytime he wants. It'll be for free, and it'll be some place where there are no witnesses."
Seagal went to emphasize the "no witnesses" aspect of his challenge a few more times, before being asked if the proposed fight would be held under MMA rules.
"Oh no, I don't play by rules," he responded. "That's not how I fight.
"I'm a man of honor. I'm a gentleman, but I am a warrior. And if he needs to find me, he knows where to find me."
Folks, sometimes this stuff just writes itself. Now quickly, let's get to some headlines before I succumb to the low-hanging fruit Seagal just delivered to our doorstep.